What exactly do you mean by the "head of the household?"?

Question

We have been using this term frequently, then I realized definitions probably vary. What's your definition?

What kind of control? Give examples.

OK. I'm not asking about legal definitions, I have filed taxes before LOL. I'm asking about the "unofficial" roles in a household. When we say a man should or shouldn't be the head of the household. I'm interested in understanding the term from the perspective who oppose the man to have the role and those who are for it. Also, you can only have ONE President and VP, you can't have two Presidents---Bush may have advisors but he ultimately made the final decision and got us into this mess LOL.

In addition, can we all agree that money and power are related?

I may have expressed who I want to be the head of MY household, considering MY preferences and needs, but I don't think the same preferences should and could be applied to everybody else. Personal choices and options are the key.

Hala: I'm glad I asked this question because CLEARLY our definitions vary. I don't give a damn who it is, NOBODY is telling what I can and can't wear! LOL Oh boy, this is interesting.

Hala: Your definition would be more like the definition of an "owner."

Those of you who say nobody is the head of the household. In my experience, there is always one person who "wears the pants" (sorry for the apparent sexist choice of word) and not only do the people in the house know this, but everybody else sees it too. This is true in all other relationships, one person is always more dominant. You can dominate in different fields and areas of course, but there is usually one person who "unofficially" stands out as the person in charge.

Hala: I think there is a difference between the man making collective decisions as opposed to giving himself the right to make decisions regarding your individuality. What I wear and what I do with my body is my own individual decision. One of my first boyfriends (Middle Eastern) thought he can tell me that I'm not "allowed" to wear lipstick LOL--NO, that's not being the household, that's being an insecure, controlling little freak with power issues. Slavery was abandoned a while back.

The Violinist: Interesting. In my relationships, one person has always had more power, whether it was related to money, personality, who wanted who more--If I was the one with power, I always ended up looking at him like a marshmallow (thanks Hala lol), that's just the reality--not politically correct, but real talk. But then again, this is my PERSONAL experience and conclusions---the same can't be true for everybody. This is why I can never be with someone who makes less money or is less educated than me---just wouldn't work.

Sigy: I think a lot of people confuse the power with "authoritarianism," "absolute power" or "dictatorship" LOL. The man can be the head of the household and I can still balance the checkbook. Also, this doesn't mean you can't put your man in check--trust me, none of my exes would have stayed with me if I didn't know how to check 'em and put them in place when necessary---a doormat is the last thing they were attracted to.

I think a lot of people get the two so twisted.

Professor C: so you do agree that there is a "head of the household" since your husband acknowledged you to be the one. So now it's a matter of deciding who should take that position? Some think it should be the woman and some think it should be the man, nonetheless, we have an understanding that one person takes that role?

Answer 1

It means the person who is the provider for the household, not necessarly the male figure, could be female too.

Answer 2

As I see it, the head of household is the one who makes the final decisions in regards to all important matters. This person will decide whether or not the son can try out for basketball, whether the daughter can go on a skiing field trip, whether to take all the kids out of public school and put them into private, etc. The head of household mainly makes decisions in regards to the kids, but they make other decisions as well.

For example, whether the next vehicle the family buys is a ford taurus or a chevy impala. Whether or not to re-model the basement. Whether the family goes to disneyworld or gatlinburg for the vacation. Whether grandma can come live in the house instead of going to a nursing home. Whether the family should relocate because of an employment opportunity. Etc., etc.

As I see it, it's *possible* to have a situation where both parents are heads of household. Basically, the two of them would have to privately discuss all important matters. Each would have to rationalize their argument, and one would either agree with the other or they'd reach a compromise. If both of them are logical people, this could work. If the situation is an emergency and requires a snap decision, whichever parent is *there* gets to decide, or whichever one speaks up first.

Answer 3

I'm sorry I'm not answering your question.. But I don't understand why people with "traditional values" say that the home is the woman's world, and that outside of the home is the man's world.. And then they go and say that the man is the head of the household.

Shouldn't the woman be, considering she's the one that's supposed to stay in it all day caring for the children and taking care of the family?

It seems to me that traditional values, and the "head of the household", just mean male supremacy.

EDIT-I really think that in some relationships, there isn't always a "dominate" person. In my parents' relationship, they made decisions together. There was not one person who would have the final say, they would have it hand in hand. IMO that's what a real relationship should be like. As for who made the most money, it's hard to say. I'm trying to look up which profession generally makes more money right now.. I think my mom made slightly more money than my dad but overall it was about equal..

Answer 4

I live in the heart of the Bible belt, so growing up I was taught that the HOH was
a) male
b) the primary monetary provider
c) the person who made ALL the decisions in the house
d) not responsible for explaining his actions to anyone

As an adult, I dated a man who said that he would not marry a woman who was not as well educated as he was and did not make as much money as he did. However, he still expected her to defer to him as the HOH. When I questioned him on this, because it is pointless to get into an argument over semantics, he said that it is the man's duty to be a "benevolent dictator". He was subscribing to the same ideology I had grown up with, while trying to make it appear as if he was doing so out of the goodness of his heart.

Now then, I do not believe this is the way it should be, or even the way it is, most of the time. But you didn't ask what we though the definition of HOH should be, just what we are thinking when it gets used.

Answer 5

Head of the household is the man of the house, in a single parent family where it's just one woman and children then she is by default the head of the household.
It means that the man is responsible for the family in good or bad, he consults his wife but the finale decision is his, it's not all joy of having the authority though...it's a huge responsibility.
It's his job to see that the welfare of the entire family is met. If someone wants to do something that wouldn't be best for the family then he gets to say no, ect.

Edit: What kind of control? Everything really: what can or can't be bought, what can and can't be done, when I was growing up my Dad decided what my Mom did or did not wear where she could or could not go. It really encompasses everything within the family.

Edit: I'm glad you asked this question too and I can see where definitions differ but I don't see how my definition would be classed as that of an "owner".

Edit: LOL you're welcome. ;)

Answer 6

The head of the household is the person who makes decisions for the household as a group and speaks for the household.

For example I speak for myself and make some decisions for myself as an individual as far as I can legally but I'm not the head of my household.

And I don't see a problem with more than 1 head of a household or being head of a household for different things but a lot of people don't like it and some people can't concieve of it.

Edit: Lioness are you saying that it is not possible to be 2 heads of a household or that you don't like the idea? Either way why the hell not??

BTW saying you can't have 2 presidents of the US is making a false analogy..

Answer 7

In my home, there is no "head of the household". My husband and I consult on large purchases, do not dictate to each other what the other can or cannot do, and we keep all our finances together - nothing hidden. I no longer work outside of the home, but keep everything running smoothly here, while he is frequently away on business trips. I pay the bills, do all of the shopping (including all of his Christmas shopping for his relatives and friends), make all of his appointments, do all of the housekeeping (inside, he takes care of the yard on the weekends), and I do all of the cooking. But, any decision that will affect both of our lives, or have any sort of impact on the the lives of our two grown children, we make together. We wouldn't even assume to make that type of decision on our own, or impose our will on the other.

Answer 8

It purely potential very very gentle blonde. i don't be attentive to the place the word got here from, regardless of the undeniable fact that it does no longer propose something undesirable! extra: I purely discovered this: In colonial cases, households grew their very very own flax to make into fabric for outfits. remodeling the flax into thread grew to become right into a complicated, in touch technique with many time-eating steps. After the flax grew to become into harvested, it grew to become into soaked in water for quite a few days to melt it so the internal fibers ought to be faraway from the stalk. to chop up the long, skinny fibers from the shorter, coarser ones, the flax grew to become into pulled via a mattress of nails or combed in a technique stated as "towing." The shorter fibers that have been extricated have been of a lesser high quality and have been stated as "tow." This led to the term "towheads" to describe people, relatively toddlers, whose hair resembled those strands.

Answer 9

The correct male model for the head of the house hold would be one that is fair, and just. Not a man who drinks and abuses his wife, or children. But one that teaches through example. The type of feller who can protect his family against an intruder, and pay the bills on time.

Answer 10

Maybe the who supervises the household, male or female.

This is funny - once we got one of those 'phone calls' asking for the man of the house. One of our sons answered and he handed it to his dad. A few seconds later he said into phone- "My wife is the one is actually the head of the household. You will have to ask her if we need replacement windows."

You wonder who developed the marketing plan for that company.

Answer 11

Definitions don't vary. In traditional households, though this is changing, one spouse is in control of monitoring the household's finances and "day to day" business. To date, this has usualyl been the mother, as the person who arranges for payment of bills, raises the children and makes the general day to day decisions that keep the house ":running"