My husband and I were married 3 months ago. We have been together, in total, over 7 years. We always knew we didn't match but we thought loving each other was enough. Since the marriage, things have all changed. I used to be able to overlook our differences because he used to "work at" our relationship. Since the marriage, I feel like I'm doing all the "work". He used to thank me for doing things. Now he acts like he expects me to do it because that's what wives do. He tries to boss me around, he doesn't help as much as he used to, he acts like he's a king and I'm some kind of slave. To make matters worse, I work at home and he is unemployed and we have a 2 year old son. Not only am I trying to do my job, but I'm trying to take care of a house and my son and the bills and he acts like nothing is wrong. He gives me money from his savings and he thinks that's enough. I feel like we are heading for divorce, already. Is this just "new marriage" stuff like my family says? Help!
2007-10-21 05:59:27 · 14 answers · asked by Betty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you got married and had a child together and your husband acts like he is the king of the castle right away you should have let him know about this is 50 -50 marriage and know one is in charge. Even though you and your husband were opposite of each other you thought love was enough to make it work and love does win over all but both parties have to be willing to work at their marriage. You work at home he has know job but gives you money from his savings. First of all he needs to get out and get a job perhaps if you two didn't spend so much time around one another you wouldn't be getting on each others nerves. marriage is not something you can get out of just like that it is oath you took in precedence of god and should have not been enter into likely.
best of luck
2007-10-21 12:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a jerk... Why oh why cant he find a job it seems though he really does not care for much at all.. i.e. He should be watching the baby while you do your home working thing. You are the slave and he is acting like the king. He should be doing most of the house work and some of the cooking, What kind of savings does he have and where is it from and no matter where he gets his money that is not enough to keep this marriage going.. Your family is all wet on this one,,, Good luck and God bless... Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-10-21 13:14:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk with your husband about these things. Just nicely explain to him that you feel since you two got married that everything has changed and that he doesn't appreciate you as much as he used to. Also, you shouldn't be the only one bringing in the family income. You need to talk to him about getting at least a part-time job so he can help out enough financially. As for the son, it's his son too so he should be helping you take care of him and raise him properly. You really need to confront your husband about it and just tell him how you are feeling. Also, consider going to marriage counseling before even considering divorce.
2007-10-21 13:05:35 · answer #3 · answered by Madison 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it looks like you got the short straw. You've got to be strong here and don't worry about what other people say as you are the one stuck with a waster. Make it plain to him that if he doesn't do things round the house after he's been out looking for a job,that he's history. You've already got one toddler already, do you need another one? He wont like it but if you don't do something NOW he'll get worse. What's the worst he could do, go home to mum and be honest would you miss that slob laying on the settee watching daytime TV. Don't think so.
2007-10-21 13:21:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not doll. This is not "new marriage stuff". Marriages aren't supposed to start out bad. What you need to do is talk to your husband. Let him know the concerns you have, and let him know about the measures you are willing to take to keep yourself happy. If you've been together for over 7 years now there's no reason for him to change. Be honest and if he's willing to change, then he's a keeper. If not, you have to look out for your best insterest and the best interest of your son and move on. Good luck doll~
2007-10-21 13:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Rizzle 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are right. you didn't pay enough attention to warning signs before. I am sure some were there but you overlooked it because he is comfortable (not sure about love).
If he is not willing to work on this relationship with you then you know he is not invested. Is this the way you want it to be another year (let alone more than that).
2007-10-21 13:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by Indya M 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Many new couples go through a difficult adjustment period when they first get married because reality is different than expectations. I'd recommend marriage counseling, even it's something you only went to a few times..it helps get things on the table and forces each side to listen to the other's perspective.
2007-10-21 13:05:01 · answer #7 · answered by Cheryl S 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you two never should have gotten married n the first place.
Lay down the law. Until he is working then he needs to more of the house work and take care of your son while you are working.
2007-10-21 13:11:49 · answer #8 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just hang in there hun. The first year of marriage is usually the hardest. Talk to him about how you're feeling and ask him if he can give you a little help. Good luck.
2007-10-21 13:20:46 · answer #9 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"We always knew we didn't match" You said it yourself. You went into a marriage with someone you didn't "match" the red flags were popping up before you got married but you chose to ignore them. If you can't tolerate the way he is you are headed for divorce.
2007-10-21 13:13:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋