He said it was because the old mattress hurt his back.But he still ends up on the sofa most nites. I should say he works until 11pm and gets home around midnite. He has lots of excuses. Too tired to shower. Too tired to get up after watching tv for awhile. Says I am hogging the bed so he does not want to bother me to crawl in. What do you think. Only married 2 years.
2007-10-21 05:29:54 · 13 answers · asked by Aloha_Ann 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
After his divorce he was alone for 10 years and spent most nites at the bar and then fell asleep on the sofa in his apartment. Is he just used to sleeping on the sofa. We even got a tv in the bedroom which I hate. He wont turn it on when I am sleeping. I tend to blame the boob tube.
2007-10-21 05:36:26 · update #1
Yes I bathe at night. But wont let him come to bed without showering and he says he doesnt want to clean up that time of nite. His job is very dirty and have to keep a cover on the sofa.
2007-10-21 05:38:24 · update #2
I threatened to throw the sofa out on the lawn. I have tried everything. Maybe its just old age and he is that tired and I take it too personal. Still blame the tv attraction. If he didnt turn it on and just took a shower he wouldnt be too tired to come to bed. a shower revives me.
2007-10-21 05:42:59 · update #3
We work such different hours it is hard to spend time together. I get up at 6 and off to work. and I work most weekends when he is home. so he thinks I dont spend enough time with him but its my job. could he be punishing me for my work hours.? He always complains his ex never worked so I thought I needed to go that extra mile and work harder than her.
2007-10-21 05:47:29 · update #4
OOh Julie who pissed in your cereal. jk I think I will keep him and even buy him a more comfy sofa with a slipcover that is washable of course.If you cant beat them join them. well not gonna sleep 2 to a couch but will do the next best thing and make sure he is comfortable.
2007-10-21 06:26:42 · update #5
Well, He being LAZY not taking a Shower after work !!! I wouldn't want him in my bed if i were you!!! or own my Couch either !!! Nothing wrong with him taking a shower No matter what time it is, thats no Excuse for that one , Just right down LAzy !!!!! maybe you can work this out though if he wants to work it out with you ! He needs to do this, when he get home after work he needs to take a Shower first Thing he does Before sitting down !! cause once he sits down He gets Lazy!! And more tired, watching tv and laying down is why he's more tired, so he needs to shower first and get th ings done before tv time!! And could be true he don't want to get in bed and wake you up! but if you don't mind it, then tell him you don't mind if he wakes you getting in bed!! you two need to work this out together really!!! hope you can!! but you got to talk about this and work on it, he has to chage his habits after work by showering first thing!!! good luck an let me know if it works out!!
2007-10-21 05:55:10 · answer #1 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds to me as though the bed isn't the problem, it's you.
I'm not saying you're a problem, but to him.. it seems like he doesn't want to sleep with you/next to you at all.
There could be two reasons.
Either, it could be because you do hog the bed and/or snore because my grandparents used to sleep in separate beds because my grandmother hogged the bed, snored, and kicked in her sleep.
Or, it could be that there's something going on and he doesn't find any desire to sleep with you because the love isn't there. And, i'm not even talking about sex here. Because, when you love someone.. you love sleeping beside them.
There should be no reason, with you getting a new bed and all, for him to still resort to the couch.
--Now that you added additional information, it could just be what he is used to; falling asleep on the couch when he comes home from work, since that is what he did for ten years. Also, you tell him that he can't go to sleep without showering so if you want him to lay next to you so badly, then don't make such rules--
2007-10-21 12:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hubby seems to be avoiding the real issue. What is he mad about? Why is he avoiding intimacy and sex with you? I would just tell him you understand, but that you are lonely and see if you can get him upstairs tonight.
Here's the issue: You are lonely and feel rejected. He says there's no problem and that he loves you but continues to sleep on the sofa. So ask him if he will please come to bed. If not, ask him what he needs from you or this relationship. Ask him if he has another woman. Tell him you are lonely. Maybe he could come to bed 2 nights a week? Three? Compromise. Look at the whole picture. I imagine there is more to this than just the sofa thing. There is a MUCH bigger thing going on here. Good luck. Hope you get him to step up.
2007-10-21 12:39:50 · answer #3 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sweetie, put the sofa in storage and tell him he will pay the rent on it staying there untill he learns how to sleep in the marriage bed! Buy him some good smelling soap, shampoo, colonge, tooth paste and tooth brush and set it up in the bathroom with a clean towel and wash cloth. Tell him you have had enough and it stops now...tell him to get in the bed and get it up and knock it off!!! If he gets mad and angry tell him you will show him what mad and angry is.......because this is it...you are trying to get things right here and if he doesn't want to be right he can go by storage and pick up his couch and stick it where the sun don't shine.I am sorry here but don't put up with this emotional abuse! He either wants to be with you or he doesnt so I would give him a choice and that's the bottom line.
2007-10-21 13:19:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
It took me awhile to get over the sleeping on the couch thing and to not take it personally. We just don't have a big enough bed My husband's 6'5 so his feet hang off the end most nights. Now, I sleep better and I enjoy it. I would just ask if he's punishing you by sleeping there. Mine just didn't get what the big deal was. I say don't take it personally and if you really want him in there get used to washing the bedding every day and don't make it a big deal.
2007-10-21 12:55:46 · answer #5 · answered by taken 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is odd. Try telling him that you want him to sleep with you and that you don't think it is just out of laziness.
Set up an air mattress in the same room and when he asks why you set it up tell him so you could be near him and see how he responds. If he then goes to the bedroom to sleep because you aren't in the bed there could be a problem.
2007-10-21 12:36:31 · answer #6 · answered by Uncertain_One 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You man is just being selfish so let him sleep on the sofa and get a man to sleep in the bed with you. HAHA. No just kidding it seems as if he's just use to sleeping on the sofa but the bathing thing I can't understand I don't see anyone wanting to go to bed dirt maybe your husband is still depressed and need some help.
2007-10-21 12:43:42 · answer #7 · answered by Spacious 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
It's tough to teach an old dog new tricks.
Donate the sofa to Good Will Industries and he has no choice but to sleep on the bed!
2007-10-21 12:40:44 · answer #8 · answered by MBA-MsBadAss 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Get a sofa bed and join him sweetheart!
2007-10-21 12:33:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Get a new sofa that is made of wood.
2007-10-21 12:33:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋