What should I do about my wife?

Question

We don't really talk anymore! Don't get me wrong, we DO get on, but the good times are getting few and far between!
She's always getting messages on her cell phone, which she says are from family members, but sometimes she reads the messages out loud, and other times she doesn't!!
As for sex... we barely manage it once a week, and then it's pretty poor at best.. no kissing, no foreplay.. nothing!!

I don't mean to moan behind her back, I just REALLY wanna know what I should do?!?!

Answer 1

Talk to her about your feeling and concerns. It is the only way to help this situation. Good luck!

Answer 2

Perhaps tell her that you would like to do something together. Work on falling in love with her all over again. Perhaps more romancing with a bottle of wine and a bed of rose petals. Maybe it would be a weekend get away to a cabin or to the shore or even just a night out on the town. If that doesn't perk her interests up, I would ask her what is wrong or why she feels the way that she does. Tell her that you want her to be honest with you because you really miss the way that you once were. Tell her you really hate to see the flame die between you two and want to know the reason why. Try helping her with the house work. Maybe the life has become so hum drum routine that it seems uninteresting any more. Send her little messages yourself and sign it a secret admirer. See if she reads it outloud. lol
It may be possible she has a secret flame and you truely deserve to know if this marriage is salvageable. There is also marriage counciling before you throw in the kitchen towel.

Answer 3

Although marriage can become very routine, both parties need to find ways to keep it fresh and new. Plan date nights 2-3 times a month, send her cards and/or flowers with "Just Because" on the card, find a way to sit and talk like friends do being sure to never be critical.....love needs to be unconditional, remember and maybe remind or ask her the things that brought you together and helped you fall in love.....they are still there, but maybe be "covered" by everyday life and responsibilities.....send her text messages, put your cards on the table and let her know how you feel...the good and the bad....good luck. If she is worth fighting for, then grab your armors, jump in the saddle and charge!!Although sex is a nice part of a relationship, it isn't the only or most important part.....see what is bothering her.

Answer 4

I would check the messages on her cell phone the next time she sets it down and leaves the room. Maybe it is just family? I think you have every right to look.

I don't think I would jump to a divorce. Maybe just tell her how you feel and see if she is feeling the same way. Maybe that is why the sex isn't great. There is no communication. Start talking about things randomly and maybe that will make her talk more as well.

Answer 5

I really think the best way to figure out what's up with her is to confront her.
You need to ask her about her behavior and let her know how you're feeling. It could just be a misunderstanding, where she's feeling neglected by you, so she's not as into everything as well.
If the two of you can talk it out and work on things, it could work.
Don't jump to conclusions that she's getting private messages from other men although there is the possibility.
Ask her if she's happy or not.
If she's not happy, there's honestly no point in sticking around unless you can work on it but to me it seems like you're the one working on the marriage while she's allowing it to slip away.

Answer 6

Step up. Make dates. Plan a new adventure. Tell her she has the choice to leave and that's okay, but that you are worried about this cell phone business. Find out if she wants to work with you and spicing up this marriage again. You both have important needs that are being let slide. You can fix that easily be being a great, romantic guy and her best friend. She can do the same. Ask for what you need. If you complain, it just gets worse. Wash her back in the shower. Take her out to dinner. Go on an adventure. Call her at lunch. You understand what I am saying, right? It is easy in a marriage to look at our spouse and rattle off all that they do, while we aren't doing anything to fix the problem ourselves. It is your marriage--make it what you want it to be. Get real honest, get real open, listen without defense and make this happen. We all get in a slump. When we don't feel loved, important, needed....some of us go out looking for it outside the marriage. If you think that might be what is going on, face it, fix it and get on with your happiness.

Answer 7

Talk to her about it! The only way couples are able to fix or at least understand what is going on in a relationship is to talk about it. Tell her you feel neglected recently and would like to know if she still feels the same way about you ect. You can research marriage counseling and hand her the information. Another thing I'm curious about is do you two have kids? Kids often make a decent sex life rather difficult. Kids also need a lot of attention quite often.

Communicate your feelings and thoughts.

Answer 8

It sounds like you are a good husband who really cares. She is lucky. The easy answer is "sit down and talk with her." But as we all know, it's not THAT easy! However, communication is the key here, because you don't know what's going on. You're in the dark. Write her a letter, or an e mail. She may pay more attention that way. And make it short and to the point. Ask her on a date. Go out! Don't forget to date your wife ... then the talking can come. But make sure you don't blame, or accuse. Ask questions with a smile. You'll get better results! And good luck :)

Answer 9

I agree with Eli Davi. Marriage is a work in progress bro. Its the easiest thing to obtain, but the hardest to keep. One problem that married couples have is that they dont know how or when to adjust their marriage. I dont mean change your love for your wife, I mean change how you show her. What might have worked 5 years ago, may not work today. Womens desires and wants change. Thats why we get bored in marriage. We get stuck doing the same things over and over. This is when you should look for other ways. Look online or read a book. Try something totally not like you but totally way out there. I bet she will love it and feel loved. Try texting her or setting up a blind date with the two of you.

Answer 10

try by attempting to bring back the spark..show up with flowers one day...and be romantic, leave her a note in her purse in the morning wishing her a good day. offer to rub her back or feet.,,,, not saying you should do all the work it just seems like someone has to initiate the spark again and doesnt seem like its going to be her. If you tell her you love her and she is beuatiful daily than she will believe it...if you stop talking to her and hardly say anything in between sex dates once a week there really wont be that passion present like you want it to be.Re assure her that you love her and hopefully things will grow back to romance in no time! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 11

when was the last time you told her you love her?...

as hard as it can be... why don't you just talk to her about what you think and feel. you have to really ask her if the two of you can talk about what is happening with your relationship. before it was really hard for me to talk to my husband about how i feel especially at times that i think he doesn't understand me or care about my feelings but he changed that. when i don't talk to him he just insist in a loving way on talking about what the problem is or if there is something wrong. only... you have to be patient, sometimes its hard for people to talk about what they want or how they feel just because they feel that it won't make any difference but the truth is... it does make a difference. communication is an important part and ingredient of a relationship.

also why don't you try to be a little romantic, maybe she just wants to feel like the woman that she was to you when the marriage started. try giving her a flower or buying her a new lingerie, do things that you think will make her feel that she is special to you and that you still love her the same way you did when you just got married:)