i'm currently in a custody battle with my (ex) husband. He makes more money than i do, lives in a nicer area, and i'm on anti-depressents for bipolar disorder. but i love my kids more than anything in the world and i CANNOT stand for seeing them every wednesday and every other weekend. How do i get majority custody? i'm so scared. i can't lose my babies.
2007-10-21 05:07:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's trying to get majority custody of them, he loves them lots too. but they are my babies, they were part of me, the court CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, or can they?
2007-10-21 05:08:26 · update #1
they are 4 and 18 months old
2007-10-21 05:10:36 · update #2
As a mother with bipolar also I would advise you to take in to court all medical records that you can to prove that your a mentally fit parent.If they want you to do an psychiatric evaluation then I would first check with your lawyer but it is definitely something to consider.Unfortunately this is the time you have to prove to the world that your illness does not define what kind of parent you are.In your paper work it should have records of you faithfully taking your meds etc.And as always,check with your lawyer before doing anything.Money may help in some areas when it comes to raising kids but nothing replaces a mothers love.As long as you can provide them with basic needs you should be fine and I wish you the best of luck and hope I helped.
2007-10-21 05:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by luvmy3 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and I just went through a custody battle and won. The mother of his child is on anti-depressants, has a mental instability, neglects the child's health, endangers his life....the list goes on for days. Anyway, is the reason you are on anti-depressants the same reason your ex has filed for custody as well? These days the court does look at both sides and for a stable situation more favourable for the children in thier best interest. If you have made a lot of mistakes in the ex's eyes he's not going to back down. Honestly I think some children are better off with the father, but that depends on each situation. In our case it was very apparent that the judge would not award the mother custody because she was basically a crack whore. She was the one that started the battle, she got to use legal aid and really never lost anything because she didn't have to pay a cent toward court fees. I think it would be better for you to sit down and honestly think about the children and which one of you can give them a better life. Go to mediation, the last thing you want is your children being brought into the middle of it. If you live in the same town close to the school they attend you may suggest that the children reside with you for one week and the father for one week. But then again that kind of situation may be too hard on the kids. If they are young enough they won't have any idea what is happening. Put yourself in your childrens shoes, they are probably just as scared as you are. Don't play any of those stupid mind games(brainwashing the children, talking bad about the ex, stuff like that) regarding this because it will only hurt the children in the end. My step son is still too young to realize how his mother hurts him by feeding his head full of untrue statements but it is only a matter of time before he sees her self destructive behaviour. It's not fair to the children. My best advice is to work it out over mediation. Going to court hurts everyone on both sides-trust me I know from experience. The mother doesn't even realize she has severed all amicable relationships with everyone involved and is acting as if nothing ever happened. I don't know, just don't fight for the sake of being the victor, whomever the court decides is going to be the primary parent is the way it's going to be and you need to be willing to accept it if your ex comes out on top. Have you gone through all the affadavit crap yet? If not I suggest that you compile a concise, strong and structured affadavit and make sure it does not change. If you change your whole affadavit every time you get your chance to rebutt you are setting yourself up for failure. The judge will be looking for consistancy. I also suggest that you don't rebutt at all, it just gets out of hand and costs everyone time and money. Because I don't know the exact details of your situation I can only offer you somewhat vague advice, but I hope you take something from it.
2007-10-21 05:48:13 · answer #2 · answered by P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your "babies" were also a part of your husband, or have you forgotten that without his sperm they wouldn't be here to begin with? Maybe you should opt for 50/50 custody if the court is willing. It isn't up to either you or their father to decide who gets whatever custody of the children it will up to the courts. I don't see why if you are are on medication and are doing well why you can't have 50/50 but to tell you the truth I doubt you will ever be able to get full/sole custody until the children are much older. In order to make your case look better, follow your doctor's orders, stay on your meds and hope for the best.
2007-10-21 07:35:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming you have a lawyer....?
Can you two move next to each other?
I hear your fear and would feel the same way. Your kids don't need this kind of drama.
You married this guy. He is the father of your children. You two can't brainstorm a better solution for the kids than uprooting then and shipping them back and forth? What kind of life is that? Can you imagine sleeping at your home half-time? This is insanity.
Cool down. Think for a minute. Understand that he misses the kids and is worried for them. Brainstorm a better solution. It will go better for everyone if you and he can come up with a normal, mature plan. Leaving it up to a judge to decide your kid's lives is not a risk I would be willing to take. Your kids' lives could depend on how many hours of sleep some judge got. This is your life. Call your husband, call a truce and stop using the kids like some kind of battle chest to fight over.
2007-10-21 05:24:12 · answer #4 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you take the initiative to ask the courts for equal shared custody. Then you both can have equal time with the kids. It won't be all the time, but it's better than every other weekend and they will appreciate it in the long run.
Your kids are a part of you but they are a part of your ex as well. Don't ever forget that. Neither of you deserves them more or less, your are both important to them.
So ask for shared parenting.... get equal time for both of you. Chances are the courts are going to grant it because you asked and it's best for the kids, you, and your ex.
2007-10-21 07:16:32 · answer #5 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sunset, if children is below 7 years of age. You have a fighting chance to get them. If you live in the Philippines then there is a law that covers you with that right. If you have a lawyer that has not received any bribe yet from your ex husband, then she can fight for your right. But as with any other place.. with this cruel cruel world..you have to accept that...it will still be the one with the MONEY.. who calls the shot I'm so sorry. I am a mother, I've been very depressed nowadays... and I do feel your sadness and the unbearable pain you are suffering right now.
So Sunset, the very first thing you have to do.. to fight for your children..is to gather yourself. Make yourself VERY STONG AND BRAVE. You just have to convince the judge that you can raise your children and that you are the most eligible person to take care of your children. Forget about your GOOD FOR NOTHING HUSBAND. He just doesn't deserve you. He will experience the pain you are suffering right now.
You can never win with your ight for your children if you cannot convince the court you are worthy of them.
Your husband doesn't deserve you nor your children. For the first time in your life FIGHT WITH YOUR LIFE. To get your children
The pain of losing your children will just be so damn much for you. You had them inside you for so many months and you raised them against all odds. So fight for them
I am really sorry this is happening to you. I'll pray that you and not your husband will win the custody of your children.
Let God make you strong...Let God make you so WISE...
Talk to your lawyer. You have to research...Don't let all the work be put on your lawyers shoulder.
Sunset, remember..the court will not pity you even if you cry so much... You have to convince them you deserve your children.
Good luck
2007-10-21 05:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep yourself together, obey the custody orders, and take your meds. I'm sure your actions are being monitored by your ex and his attorney, so don't mess up by getting all emotionally or stressed out! Look at Britney Spear's custody battle, her ex uses her faults to keep her from her kids. Don't let this happen to you. Keep your cool and have patience. Even if your ex get full custody, they are STILL your kids and you WILL see them, and as they get older, they will probably want to live with you, and you can go back to court and arrange it, AS LONG AS YOU KEEP IT TOGETHER! It's ALL up to you!
2007-10-21 05:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by MBA-MsBadAss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time the courts will side with the mother...unless the mother has been proven to be unfit....Your ex may try to use the fact that you are using anti depressants for a bipolar disorder to say that you are unfit......but that doesn't mean he will win....Have some faith.....
2007-10-21 05:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time, the court will side with the mother. They will base their decision on what is in the best interest of the children.
Pray about it...
Good luck!
2007-10-21 05:11:42 · answer #9 · answered by luvmybabies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them what you just said, it shows that you are a great parent and really love to have your kids.
2007-10-21 05:40:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋