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Serious people only...
I love my boyfriend ( with all my heart)... but I cheated on him.

He went away for a year and while he was gone I cheated on him (once & once only). After I did it I knew I was wrong. I already told him and we talked and cried about it and all the emotional stuff. Some things where even admitted on his side. Now our relationship is better then it has ever been. Crazy but true. We talk about everything well... Almost everthing...

Here's the problem... the sex is not the same. this is hard to admit... but it's not like it used to be ( like before i sleeped with the other guy). He seems to not noticed any difference, but i do...It doesn't feel as GREAT as it used to. I am NOT very experinced in the sex department except for with him and this other. We have even tried new moves and positions.

Basically, will our sex life go back to the way it used to be and how do i get it there.

It dosen't really matter, but ... in a way... it does matter

2007-10-21 05:04:49 · 13 answers · asked by *~*Lady_bug*~$ 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

We want to get married, and I want to get married.... no dout, I love him.

2007-10-21 05:06:22 · update #1

13 answers

There may be a lot of things that have changed. No matter how hard one tries it can never be the same. We have a tendancy to let our minds wander and I'm sure that both of you think about what has happened from time to time. It's a hurt that we try to put in the back of our mind but it keeps sneaking to the front of our thoughts sometimes. Don't fool yourself ... he notices the difference as well but I have to respect your man ... he's still there and trying. One thing you said here is " We talk about everything,well....almost everything." That speaks volumes. I guess both of you realize that there are some things you probably don't want to talk about and can't. It's going to take a lot of time and patience ... good luck.

2007-10-21 08:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

How do you let go of the thoughts of your other half in the arms of someone else? It might take time but then it might always be there.

If he had slept with another woman would you think about it a lot? Would you be comparing yourself to this other woman? Would you wonder all the time?

I would guess he is still hurt and holding back and maybe you are still tentative and holding back. Sex is so much better when you don't hold back but if either or both of you still have thoughts of the * other * then you can't truly let yourself go like before.

It might take time....maybe you need to do something to prove that he is the only one you want.

Good Luck!

2007-10-21 05:26:24 · answer #2 · answered by Big Red 6 · 0 0

the form of questions that get a large number of solutions and the questions that don't are a splash annoying. I wish greater people had the restraint to purely no longer answer some Q's by way of fact then the peoplel asking them could purely bypass away. BQ - those cases once you experience like part of a small Y!a team and anybody is having relaxing and getting a good chortle.

2016-10-07 08:14:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Once a cheater always a cheater right? Ain't that what they say about us men? Well women are no different in this area. If YOU notice a difference then HE probably notices as well which means not only did you hurt his feelings, you crushed his "pride"! I feel sorry for him. I really do. He should move on and forget you. Sounds mean, but how would you feel? If he cheated on you....well then you both deserve each other.

2007-10-21 07:42:04 · answer #4 · answered by Eric Lee 1 · 0 0

It might get better in time. There is still a lot of healing on his part even if he doesn't say it. Hang in there and things will improve. Maybe a change of scenery will help. Get away for the day to some romantic place and see if that doesn't spark the old feelings.

2007-10-21 05:13:18 · answer #5 · answered by Jodi 5 · 0 0

It's hard to get past this block.
You still think about the guy you were with other than him. He may even have remembered to though of his time away from you.
I'd suggest that you both begin again with new directions. Leave your past love behind you. Pick up a new one.
Meaning make another first date with him.
what I once did was I went out and bought a nice outfit. And some new perfume. Found a nice restaraunt to go to, and take in a movie, that would be different from what you normally would go and see. I chose a horro movie , as we got close to each other a clung on during the worst parts of it. Then talked about it afterwards. It may not make sense to you, but this helped to chase my demons away , when I found out he had hurt me this way. As it was like seeing my guy in a whole new light. Then after the movie we took a stroll in the park just talking of new plans, I put my arm around his waist hooking my finger into his belt loop, as if to hint to him he is mine. I wont let him go.
Then after our long walk and talk, We went to that restauraunt I mentioned, and asked for a dark quiet corner to get a little cozy. I ordered some food with a kind of aphrodisiacs. ( things to increase the sexual arousal in you / or him ).
We left feeling better about each other and a little eager to want to enjoy each others closeness that night.

I've never had to worry about it again. As all that worry or fear I had put in our past. So I made sure I did things to keep him thinking of me. Like new sexy outfits, some personal pictures, a nice note in his lunches, as I make them for him to take to work. Sending him flowers at his job or some other little thing he likes, that will keep him longing to come home to you. Send him a spontaneus email saying to meet him someplace after work and give each other a night on the town to unwind from the daily routines of life.
I hope things will improve for both of you. Remember true love can conquer all obstacles or temptations.
Ask God for forgiveness as well as your man, and then Ask God to help you heal your bruised hearts.

2007-10-21 05:33:34 · answer #6 · answered by poetbjc64 5 · 0 0

The first line says it all, If all your heart had to offer was cheating on him he really does not have much to work with and what makes you think that you will be able to repair a problem that large with such a small heart?

2007-10-21 09:05:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yeah. After you cheat the things cannot be the same as much you are trying. Just cannot be the same.......The flame is gone even if you love him.

2007-10-21 05:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by LMH 2 · 0 0

Cheating will never make things better, it's lying no good come from that. Once was to many times, as soon as he gets mad at you guess what he will throw in your face,.....

2007-10-21 05:16:56 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 0 0

It is guilt. You can't bring yourself to be truly happy with him. That's what happens when we make bad choices. I am so glad that he freely forgave, you...we all make mistakes. It sounds like you haven't forgiven yourself.

You have to let it go and vow to never let it control your life again. You learned from your mistake and that is huge....

2007-10-21 05:37:57 · answer #10 · answered by TotallylovesTodd! 4 · 0 0

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