my husband told me about the affair when he felt how guilty he was anyways they had not slept but were attracted to each other at work
2007-10-21 04:41:16 · 42 answers · asked by loreen1p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think you'll ever forget about it, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to forgive.
2007-10-21 04:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You will probally never forget about him having the affair because of how much it hurt you. I know my ex had a affair and I know how much that hurt me I couldn't imagine with it being a husband. You still have a lot of heart ache and it is going to take a while for you to forgive him and you will have a hard time trusting him but the only thing I can say is if you both really love each other you will stay together even though it might be hard.
2007-10-21 04:47:20 · answer #2 · answered by elizabeth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't got your best interest at heart if he would put you through all of that because he was attracted to another woman. You husband didn't have an affair, he had an attraction. No touching, right?
We all look, sometimes we are attracted, if you are in love with your spouse that's your limit. When you are in love hurting the other person would be worse than hurting yourself.
Your husband feels that getting your absolution, or really your permission and acceptance is more important than making sure you are happy. Hes thinking of himself and not you. If it had been a physical affair he'd have to tell you as you would need to be tested for STDs. But, hes only told you about his fake affair to hurt you and that's not right.
2007-10-21 04:48:09 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this, I can tell you that you will never forget about it. I have been through the same thing, and that was 15 years ago. I can tell you that in time you will think about it less and less. The best thing for you to remember is if you chose to forgive him and excepted him back (after he told you of it), then you can't throw it in his face whenever you get mad at him. Not saying that you can't discuss it with him, just dont do at a time of anger.Counsling may help you to figure out why things happened, but DONT EVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU IT WAS YOU FAULT!!!! Regardless of anything else, he still could have said NO!
2007-10-21 04:53:44 · answer #4 · answered by dannah1129 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your statement is a little confusing! Are you saying they did'nt sleep together but were attracted to each other at work? If so, thats not an affair! Having an attraction to someone, married or not is not unusual. It's when you cross that line. But I say get over it! Trust is important, and if you don't trust your partner, it will kill your relationship. And if he is going to cheat on you in the future, you can't stop it. And why would you? Who wants to be with someone that you have to constantly worry wether they are going to cheat or not.
2007-10-21 04:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by camern11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a while, have you tried counseling, my husband and I went alone and as a couple. It helped us both to realize we wanted to work at saving out marriage.
It has been six years and we are doing great. I learned to forgive him, I do not use this as a way of hurting him when arguing. The past is the past.
I will not lie it comes creeping into my mind about once a year or so. I look at all we have achieved and the I put that monster back in its place.
2007-10-21 04:51:02 · answer #6 · answered by desiree c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never forget betrayal in a relationship. You can forgive and grant your husband a second chance. It is possible to establish a better and trusting bond with time, communication and working at trust and respect.
Remember, you gave him another chance as in "Baby, one more time." See a counselor to work through your feelings. Tell him if he messes up again it will be the last time....and mean it. You have self worth and deserve a honest relationship with no pain. Good luck!
2007-10-21 04:51:05 · answer #7 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never "forget."
To get over it, as in it doesn't bother you to talk about it, takes between 5 and 10 years.
My wife cheated at the 9 year point of our marriage, and I cheated at year 14. We got over it and have been married 27 years. We could not be more happy and more in love.
2007-10-21 04:46:54 · answer #8 · answered by Richard F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never forget about it. You need to go through the processes of forgiveness if you haven't already. Don't be afraid to get professional help if you are having difficulty dealing with it. Look up infidelity on the web, there are so many different resources out there that may be able to help you cope with your situation. Best of luck to you.
2007-10-21 04:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by BreakingHeart 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You may never forget, but it is the forgiving that is important. You are luckier than a lot since this didn't have sex together and should give him credit for coming clean for the little that did occur.
2007-10-21 05:13:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never forget, the question should be will you be able to forgive.and then the trust issue is the next part.Its hard for anyone to rebuild trust .Forgiving you will probably do but forgetting you never will.
2007-10-21 04:47:21 · answer #11 · answered by wanna know 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋