Why is it that if the man you date/marry out educates and has more money than you, you're automatically considered a gold digger. If you out educate him and make more money, you're automatically perceived as a controlling b****. Has anybody else experienced this?
2007-10-21 04:37:28 · 9 answers · asked by Lioness 6 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Lord: What do you know about my sexuality to even comment on it? Or are you, once again, confusing your fantasies with reality?
2007-10-21 04:48:27 · update #1
Blessed: That's true. Before I met my ex's family, everybody assumed any woman who is around him is there for money, not even caring about what she is and who she is--which is insulting because they hadn't even met me or knew anything about my life.
2007-10-21 04:53:45 · update #2
Wordwee: I think you have a good point about initial assumptions based on power.
2007-10-21 04:55:21 · update #3
Lord: I know getting negative attention is your only survival strategy, but there are those of us who actually don't mind being nice to everybody--regardless of gender, ideology, age, color or sexual orientation. Is that too complicated to you?
2007-10-21 05:03:08 · update #4
Why is it that if the woman you date/marry has more money than you, you're automatically considered a bum, but if you make more money than her, you're automatically perceived as treating your wife like chattel?
2007-10-21 04:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
In life there's a positive term and a negative term (or multiples of each) for everything. Being in a marriage that happens to have a particular advantage, being lucky, in love, financially comfortable, successful or a 'one shrewd woman' will be reinterpreted by those envious as a gold digger or controlling *****. We shouldn't take the technical term to heart. Find a few flattering words to describe a helpful spouse that changed a man's life in every way possible, and you have the exact same situation - it just feels a lot better.
2007-10-21 04:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by Size 2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a common stereotype normally reserved when the people around the man think the marriage is happening fast or they have not been brought into the relationship.
I know that when my hubby and I married we had been friends for a couple of years and we "courted" for a year. by the day we walked down the isle all of our friends we just that Our friends.
we had met each others families and everyone called us "the perfect match" (hahaha still married still don't get it like any marriage is perfect).
however friends and family have their place in our lives we know it and they know it, if you leave them out of an important part then they feel you are hiding something or are ashamed of something which causes the names above.
so my response would be that when someone means a lot to you and you have nothing to hide you take them to meet family and friends and if someone is still bitter or mean then they obviously wanted to be more than friends or they are the controlling person.
2007-10-21 04:50:48 · answer #3 · answered by Blessed Rain 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Once again, I think that everyone in GWS needs to take a field trip out in the real world. Most people marry individuals who are not identical in their education and earning scale...and amazingly, they can go through life without labels being slapped on them by society.
This does happen - sometimes - to some people - but not all the time - and not to all people!
2007-10-21 06:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lioness:
Because the initial assumptions about the relationship are based on power.
That comment may appear to be "holier than thou" or condescending but isn't intended to be. I believe that our cultural context obscures other assumptions abour relationships despite - maybe even in conjunction with - its powerful preoccupation with passion dressed up as "romantic" love.
Good luck.
2007-10-21 04:54:00 · answer #5 · answered by wordweevil 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't say I have. Although, I have experienced both scenarios in my life. I have always been well liked by most somehow. However, I never paid much attention to negativity either: you can not achieve much in life, if you let yourself to be distracted by nonsense.
2007-10-21 04:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who the f*** cares how other people perceive you? I certainly don't, will you join me?
2007-10-21 05:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Unfortunately yes have experienced this.
Also it is life.
That I am afraid is the way it is.
2007-10-21 04:43:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
No, I haven't experienced this. People are called those things because they act like those things.
2007-10-21 04:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by Fletcher t 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋