I feel so disgusting inside. My husband and I have been separated for three months. However, we attended my sister's wedding yesterday and my children and I were part of the wedding party. I did have chapmagne making me relaxed by the end of the night. I went to bed, was awaken by him telling me he wanted to make love to me. I said no and he did anyway. I feel horrible since he has a history of degrading and disrespecting me. I feel awful inside and keep crying. I feel raped. He took advantage of me......... AGAIN. I just feel so horrible inside. Was this wrong of him? We were separated (at my request) and I thought I could trust him home for the night.
2007-10-21 03:10:16 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, his behavior yesterday (of forcing you into having sex with him) after being separated for 3 full months clearly shows what's high on his priority list. If he was genuinely interested in YOU and not your (.) he would have at least attempted to respect you, used this moment with you to talk things over, maybe even talk about the children and their priorities. Instead all he could do was to force his way inside your pants.
By doing this he actually has done you a big favor. Now, your reason to leave is far stronger than ever. He might have just lost even that small chance he had to getting back with you. It makes your decision to leave him even easier now. At least you now know, no matter what, all he wants from you is your (.)
Yesterday you were in an apparently good mood. It was a happy day in your life. And you were just a bit considerate and human with your soon-to-be-ex. All he could do was to take advantage of all this. Shows lack of decency and lack of judgement on his part.
Move on with your life. It isn't easy. But I'd rather be respected and loved for who I am than be violated and abused. Best wishes to you and your children. You guys deserve better.
2007-10-21 04:20:08 · answer #1 · answered by this_big_one_is_4u 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY, you was raped! I too went through something similar, but he was the one who had been drinking. Unfortunately, the laws do not protect us....several factors: even though you guys were separated, you allow him to spend the night. Secondly, you had been drinking (no matter how little it might have been) so the laws looks at your situation as though, you guys were trying to reconcile, so legally to don't have a case. My suggestion to you would be if you are truly ready to dismiss this man, then start the process to end it, because legally he has a right to be intimate with you, no matter how disgusting it may be to you. Stop your crying, stand up straight and give him the ground rules. If he touch you again (without your consent) you will file assault charges against him and put in place a protective order against him, NO MORE SLEEP OVERS until you guys decide exactly what direction you want this marriage to go. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF...you do whatever you need to do feel strong, independent, attractive "A beautiful woman" and take back the CONTROL. Life doesn't end with a divorce....look at it as a new beginning.....a chance to re-define YOU....What is one man's trash is another man's treasure! You can DO IT! and NEVER allow a man to disrespect you....trust me...it gets worse
2007-10-21 03:58:49 · answer #2 · answered by crack "not the bad one" 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you do not have a counselor who is experienced in abuse counseling, please go get one. They are usually free. Stay clear of him. He was VERY wrong and could be brought up on charges. Call the crisis line in your state and talk it out with them. You probably should throw his rear in jail, get a PFA order (Protection From Abuse Order). Call the State police and file charges and ask for the order. Hubby will never get that he has a problem until he is held accountable. Take back your life, hold up your head, and have him answer for his actions. He had no right. It was rape. Call the police, get some support and keep him as far away from you as you can.
2007-10-21 03:19:16 · answer #3 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then lets make this simple. Its clear NOW that you can't assume he'll do anything else BUT take advantage of you. You made your mistake last night. You're human...we're all entitled to f*ck up occasionally. There won't be a next time though will there?
Forget the 'seperation' crap. Move it to the next level and make the break. It'll never change and certainally will never improve so this is you're only avenue to take.
Good luck and cheer up. At least you have a plan now.
2007-10-21 03:18:39 · answer #4 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-13 10:06:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The laws vary in different states, but in Missouri if you are married and separated even if you ask him over, if you say no it is rape and they will prosecute him for it. Either lock him up or not, but definitely get a divorce and no more letting him come around he has no respect for you and you deserve better than that.
2007-10-21 04:17:04 · answer #6 · answered by dcdaniel1968 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, it's wrong of him and I feel awful for you, but logically you probably won't want to go down the road of pressing charges, it could get uglier then the rape. Lesson learned, get a good lawyer, and start moving forward with the divorce, do everything thru the courts for now (including visitation.)
2007-10-21 03:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by replexgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is legally rape. It doesn't matter if you're married, separated, or divorced, when you say no and he forces himself on you anyways, it is rape. I suggest you report him and try to get a restraining order. Although the legal system is screwy, it does work most of the time.
2007-10-21 03:18:48 · answer #8 · answered by quester_us 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is wrong. No means no, husband and all. That only proves that he doesn't have any boundary lines that he won't cross. He feels like you're his property. I know you feel very bad right now, but the good thing is that he's already out of your house. Keep him out of your mind too.
2007-10-21 03:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by renamed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Saying no means NO.
However a good kick to the groin can clear out his ears......
and it would have prevented the intimate encounter ....
Next time lead with your knee !
and don't let him in the front door next time .......or any door for that matter !
2007-10-21 03:16:29 · answer #10 · answered by John 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋