anyone like?

Question

here is a poem i wrote a little while ago:

all the happy days are gone
now my life feels so torn
without you i have no pain
i'm without sunshine, i'm without rain
so when the time comes i will not pretend
for soon enough my heart will mend

too emo?

sweet.. thankyou

Answer 1

err kind of but then when you get to the end where it says my heart will mend then it kind of takes some of the emo-ness away
sorry hard to explain what i'm thinking

Answer 2

yes it's too emo and you know that -

a poem is more like taking a snapshot but instead of using a camera/film you use words.

it's ok to pour out your feelings - but keep these to yourself.

poems are like you are observing a situation.

one of my early poems I published I pretended I was in a room where an auction was taking place,like I was in the room taking a picture, and I did take a picture, but I used words. It turned out good and it was published.

it took a while for me to understand that a poem was not an outpouring of feelings. I still do those but I keep them to myself.

hope this helps you.

Answer 3

Uh Kind of emo but its good just try to write abut happier things.All in all it's good

Answer 4

its not 2 emo. if thats how u feel then thats what u should write. 4 me poetry is where i express myself and if u feel down and out then u should express it. expressing ur feelings in writing and especially poetry is supposed 2 keep u relaxed and lets out any bottled up emotions.

Answer 5

I'm not going to lie, it's very unoriginal. Try using a thesaurus or adding more to it. I can relate, but its very plain.

Answer 6

i like it
i doesnt sound to emo
it just explains how some people feel when someone they really care about leaves them