was using his laptop yesterday and found out that he had been googled search for news of his ex-fling (he had an affair with her 3 years ago). what should i do? is this just out of curiosity/boredom/something more? obviously he doesn't know where she is right now, so what is he trying to achieve? should i confront him? i should also mention that he had done this before a few months back, when i confront him about it, he apologised and said it was silly of him, and he was just bored?
2007-10-20 20:22:39 · 14 answers · asked by kate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I look up people all the time that I have no interest in, just curious. It's harmless human nature. And boredom. If you find something in his phone or emails then you have something to be concerned about.
2007-10-20 20:27:06 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Metro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a big deal. With myspace and facebook and other websites like that it's very common for people to search past friends and lovers especially since with those sites you can add them as a friend, but have absolutely no obligation to talk to them. I can't even tell you the number of people I have on my facebook list that I have no intentions of actually speaking with again. I just get bored, look them up, add them to my friends list and forget about them the next day. I don't think it's anything to worry about that I have ex's on my facebook or that my partner has some ex lovers on his. I trust my partner though. If you're having issues with trusting your husband, that's something that you need to talk to with him about. All the reassurance from strangers on the internet is going to do nothing to fix that. Good luck!
2007-10-20 20:58:12 · answer #2 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too concerned, after all friends reunited exists because we are curious about other people. A very small proportion of people on F.R would actually expect or desire to meet up. It is gratifying to 'find' people for its own sake.
Even if she is the only one, that he wants to know about it doesn't mean he necessarily wishes they were still in touch - Perhaps he just wants to feel smug when he discovers how much better his circumstances are than hers.
I really don't think it matters - the Internet allows us to poke about in places we would never get away with before - faced with total anonymity it's tempting to see if you can discover the 'gossip' on people you've known.
Good Luck
2007-10-20 20:41:33 · answer #3 · answered by Bewildered 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was this fling while you were together or before your relationship started? It could be that he was just bored but he's really being careless with your relationship if he's doing stuff like that. It sounds like he's thinking of starting something up again and he just doesn't know when to stop.
2007-10-22 05:16:27 · answer #4 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he already had an affair with her? he googled her in the past and apologized but is doing it again? hmmmmm. pretty sketchy. apologies only count if the person learns from their mistakes and does not repeat the offending behaviour. the man has a problem. with honesty, with integrity, with fidelity. it's not okay to treat you this way, to lie to you. if you can't trust your husband to be honest with you, what's the point of the marriage? you know this though, that's why you are asking. think about if your friend came to you and was in your position, what would you advise her? or what if you read your post here from someone else, what would you advise her to do? follow that advice. listen to yourself. trust that you deserve better.
2007-10-20 20:35:29 · answer #5 · answered by abiona 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like he still thinks about her. I would definately confront him, or even better say nothing and set him up to see if he would re-kindle the affair. Play dumb, use a mates pc and e.mail him pretending to be her.
2007-10-20 20:26:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i am bored, i google all sorts of names - pretty much everyone i have ever know. i even found some unclaimed money for the wife of one of my friends, and he didnt think it was strange - just claimed the money.
take it as he says - unless he is doing it every day - that's another kettle of fish altogether.
2007-10-20 20:26:47 · answer #7 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
simply try to let him not bored ,act on spoiling him ,work on your marraige save it now when you can ofcourse he is not yet cheating on you now but if your marraige stay in this path that he thinks is boring even if it is not to you,he will end up cheating not to this woman may be to any other,do not wast your life either keep him and make him happy or get rid of him
2007-10-20 20:57:31 · answer #8 · answered by mony y 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
was he bored while cheating on you with her.no he wasnt he is still looking as to where she.s at and probley more that fact . my opion?
2007-10-20 20:31:41 · answer #9 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he is missing her...i wouldnt stay with him...why else would he be searching for her? there is no reasonable explanation is there? if my husband did that...he would be out of my life!!
2007-10-20 20:47:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋