I'm not one of these women who come on here and are proud to be a mistress. I admit I am or lets say I was a mistress for six long years. I didint mean for it to get this far and I didint do it for fun. I'm ashamed I made a mistake and I feel bad. I could have walked away but I stayed for love or at least I thought it was love. Now I know for a fact that I'm better off alone I wish I never did this I wish I didint love him so much but I know I'm not happy and I know I need to end it. I'm a 24 year old woman who got caught up in a bad situation. I'm moving on but don't know how I'm sad does anyone have any good advice without any judgement?
2007-10-20 19:40:58 · 18 answers · asked by super bad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you are sad coz you cant find a man your age who is single and has all the qualities that we all look for in a man ....or maybe you are sad coz you are still infatuated by this same married man you have been seeing ...
why dont you look for a guy who is going to love you and that you can be proud of going places together, than hiding from pipo and hiding eachtime you are at the restrant stuff that secret lovers do !! actually thats not even a secret love , its poisoned love ... a ka little demon overtaking control and leading you to do crazy and unspeakable things ..like dating a married man ....
so just as you said you are over it ...and all you need is a peace of you ...find a new single guy ,who will be just for you ....
2007-10-20 19:54:40 · answer #1 · answered by Elizabeth N 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old he is, but no matter how old, he has taken advantage of you at an early age. I was 26 yrs. old before I had an affair with a married man. I didn't know he was married at first, but my mistake was not ending it when I did find out. Yes, I am ashamed, and yes it hurt to end it, but I did end it. I felt as if my heart and everything that was connected to it had been literally torn from my body, and I still think of him sometimes today, 27 yrs. later. But those memories are fond ones now. I don't even think of the hurt the pain or the embarassment any longer. All I remember are the good times. The reason that I can do this today is that I met someone else, within a short amount of time who made me forget the painful memories, because my new love gave me so many good ones. I have always believed that we should grab on and hold tight to whatever happiness we might find. But when that happiness, is no longer there and only pain, shame and regret is there to consume you, then it's time to move on and eventually you will find happiness again or it will find you. Please, listen to your mind and not your heart in this situation, because if he will cheat on one love, then he will cheat on the other, and how do you know that he is not cheating on you with someone else besides his wife. You deserve better than that. I don't know you, but I know that every person deserves better than second or third best. You should always be first in your lovers eyes. I don't know if this will help you or not. I know it won't help the pain go away, but I hope that you will start to put yourself first, instead of him. If he doesn't put you first, then you have to. All the best to you and I hope that you have as wonderful of a life as I have had. Remember the good & forget the bad, that is my motto and it has stood me well, but it took me some time to learn & I learned it the hard way too. Best wishes. sweetmeaner
2007-10-21 03:01:02 · answer #2 · answered by thesweetestone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is full of tragedies, but if one keeps on thinking about the same all the time, it is wrong. Try to see life in a new way. Daily the sun comes out and makes it a day with new blossoming of flowers and a new weather brings new fragrence all around. The older leaves go away with the new ones replacing them making the environment greener and better fresh air circulates. You are only 24 why worry. Just make a go head forgetting the past for ever. Give yourself a treat and start afresh. You will see when you are happy all good things start happening all by itself.
2007-10-21 02:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by sgog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't call you a skank or homewrecker. You just got caught up in the thrill of adultery and fornication. Some people would stone you to death for that but this is America. You can proudly walk the streets without wearing the Red Letter "A". I'd say, keep it up girl. Married men like a little variety. The mistake you made was to go on for 6 years. As he got tired of his fat wife, he got tired of you too! Dump these guys before they dump you next time. The married guys will treat you better because they know if you get upset, you will tell the fat wife.
2007-10-21 02:49:38 · answer #4 · answered by estee.tabernac 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing
look at the good side of it all
you had a lover that didnt bug you every day and you had break from him
you had a regular lover
great sex
and this held you over until you were ready and more mature
and more able to think clearer now
so there is alot of good from this
you started young at 18
you didnt have any real life experiences yet
so you had a chance to learn
now you know
and you have a new start
do not feel any guilt
no shame
you were doing the best you could
now your ready for a clear life!
many ppl keep a friend with benefits until they are ready to find some one
good luck!!
2007-10-21 02:59:59 · answer #5 · answered by alamoblue2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good advice without any judgment: I understand how people get wrapped up in bad situations. You understand what you did wrong, and you're ashamed of it. It sounds to me like you're judging yourself pretty harshly. I dunno if you're a christian, but if you are I would encourage you to look at you're relationship with God. That could totally come across wrong.... I mean not as to the reason why you did this, but as a way to heal you're broken heart. I just came out of an abusive relationship. And I know if not for God, I would have end more than just my relationship a few months ago.
I'll be praying for you. I hope that you have a bright day tomorrow.
2007-10-21 02:50:20 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine™ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well girl it's going to take some time so get over, just pray in try to do things to keep ur mind off him. it's going to take a one by one day to get over this, besides you shouldnt wanted to be the other women any ways, if thats the case, leave other women men a long in you wouldnt have to be the mistress woman, you give bad women out here a bad name cause you cant find ur own man, shame on you if thats the case, what comes around will come in the light, if thats the case.
2007-10-21 02:49:12 · answer #7 · answered by Sun Shine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just wasted 6 years on some user that claimed his marriage had no love in it or some other similar stuff. You were probably one of a string of side-dishes he's had. They never leave their wives.
Don't sell yourself short.
Next time you meet someone you like, you get to know the guy thoroughly, meet his family, maybe even run a background check to make sure he isn't another user.
Don't move in with him until he earns the privilege by marrying you.
You are a worthwhile person to get to know, and you deserve a good man in your life who will dedicate his life to you and to making a family with you... exclusively.
2007-10-21 03:03:32 · answer #8 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your still young so thats a +, and that's what we ALL do, we learn from our mistakes, so don't let that put you down, I mean, do you have to look upon that "mistake" as something bad, I mean there had to have been moments when both of you were happy, so you shouldn't end that in a bad way, he's still with his wife, and you've moved on, so just BE HAPPY!!
2007-10-21 02:48:27 · answer #9 · answered by mofo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i will not put you down but i fill sorry for the other lady see i was her at one time ! BUT YOU NEED TO HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH AND NEVER LET HIM BACK IN YOUR LIFE ANY MORE HE WILL USE YOU AND KEEP ON USING YOU - IF YOU WORK BY HIM GET A NEW JOB ! STAY WORKING ON SOMETHING TO KEEP YOUR MINE OFF OF HIM ! HE IS NO GOOD FOR YOU OR HER !! IT JUST IS NOT RIGHT !!
2007-10-21 02:54:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋