my bf and i have been dating for almost two years. the majority of our relationship has been long distance. we are very much in love and have indirectly talked about marriage but both agree that living in the same place is a must before making such a statement. we are both virgins and are waiting for marriage. i am fairly certain i want to marry this man. here is the issue: he will be moving to my city in a few months. we have discussed moving in together. he is 100% for it. i am nervous. the facts that we have not lived in the same place for an extended period of time, we are maintaining that we want to wait to have sex, and the fact that the idea of moving in together and then finding out that it isnt working simply terrifies me. what if it all goes wrong?! on the flip side, as i said before, i dont foresee a breakup and i anticipate marriage, it makes sense financially, and we truly enjoy spending time together but we also appreciate and accept our need for space. help!
2007-10-20 19:39:11 · 10 answers · asked by anna8324 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's a big step to go from long distance to living together. If you aren't used to spending extended time periods living in the same house with someone then moving in will be a BIG shock. I say live separately and take it slow - because you aren't used to seeing each other regularly, jumping straight into living together is really not a good idea. Set yourselves up a timeline of sorts. Start off just seeing each other during the day on the weekends. Then staying over each other's houses on the weekend. Then staying over for a week at a time, etc. Make it gradual and you get to see what he's really like and it gives you time to decide if living together is possibly considering the sex factor, and if this guy is really the right guy for you. Best of luck :-)
2007-10-20 19:48:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 100% up for moving in with you because he will save the money on his own rent this way. In other words, doing that is more financially convenient to him.
Also, what you say makes no sense. You are waiting for marriage in order to have sex, and at the same time you are moving in together before getting married.
Both of you are not ready for a serious commitment yet. At least, you are definitely not ready yet; your reasoning sounds very off base. You need to wait. Do not move in together at this time.
2007-10-20 19:58:52 · answer #2 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are really wanting to wait to have sex until after you are married, moving in together is a bad idea. If you both have feelings for each other and you are together in the same house, you are going to want to have sex. If you do not have sex, more than likely you will end up arguing or avoiding each other. If you live together and do not want to have sex, something is wrong. God made us with sex drives and it is natural.
Any chance of speeding up the wedding?
2007-10-20 20:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
live CLOSE BY. NEVER live together until after marriage. That really messes up relationships. A lot of women think that living with their BFs gives them a better chance of marriage. It doesnt. Just hav him live in the same apartment area and move in after getting married
2007-10-20 19:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would move in with him. It is normal to have these fears. Just remember that the same things could happen later if you wait to live with him until marriage. There are no guarantees. Don't pass things up because you are afraid of failure. Take a leap and good luck.
2007-10-20 20:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it! Your commitment to not have sex before marriage is vital to your spiritual and emotional health and for the health of your marriage. If you move in together, you WILL end up breaking your commitment. Believe me, it WILL happen and you will regret it. Not to mention sex before marriage is sin.
Your thinking that you must live in the same place before marriage is not true. What it takes to make marriage work is COMMITMENT! Not trial and error! If you both love each other and are willing to unconditionally commit to a LIFETIME marriage, you can make it work even if you didn't know each other. Statistically, people that live together before marriage are much more likely to end up in divorce. Hummm...God is right again! Don't do it. :)
2007-10-20 19:56:47 · answer #6 · answered by avidmark4 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
2 years, most of it long distance... not good.
Wants you to move in with him?... not good.
So how do you know he really is a virgin... and has been true to you all this time? You don't.
How do you know he isn't manipulating you into pulling up stakes and away from your current support network? You don't.
Moving in with him is selling yourself short... you will wind up providing the full services of a wife and he will not have any impetus to marry you. A lot of risk for you.
You can look for a job and move near where he is, but I do not recommend moving in with him until you are on more stable and equal footing.
2007-10-20 19:51:09 · answer #7 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well it's a proven fact that people who live together before getting married end up hurting their relationship and getting divorced sooner. If you want to take the risk go for it though, it's just statistics.
2007-10-20 20:05:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is a good idea to move in together before getting married. then you learn who the person is. when you live with someone, you realize who they are. are they messy? responsible? etc.
2007-10-20 19:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go for it and live with him first, and get to know him and his habits. and take one day at a time
2007-10-20 20:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by Angela W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋