how do i let go?

Question

i am 31 i have been married for ten years and been with my husband a total of 12 years. i started dating him when i was 19
we have spit up numrous times. i spent 3 years in prision which i stood by his side the whole time. a year after he got out he cheated on me and we split up for 3 months got back together. for the last 8 months him and my bestfriend got real close and all he wants to do is hang out with her and be around her all the time how do i let go and not go back. we do have a daugther together. +

Answer 1

I sympathise with you, having been in a similar situation myself. All I can advise is to be strong, accept that, as much as you love him, being with someone that selfish is only going to hurt you, and more importantly, your daughter. It's really hard to let go, I know, but look at it this way, you've done the right thing by him for ten years or more, and if that means so little to him that he'd rather be with your friend, then he's not worthy of someone so loyal and loving as you. Realize that you, and your daughter, deserve so much better, and can have so much better.
What helped me was to write down all the horrible things my guy had done, the things he said to put me down, the lies he told, the times he got violent in an argument, his problems with the law, the way he treated the kids. Remember those ten years and the lonely time you spent when he was away, and compare that big long list to the (if anything like my ex) much shorter list of good times. When I read my list, I realized I was a fool for giving so much love to a man who could do so many nasty hurtful things. It made it easier to let go of a horrible person than the lovable man I'd believed him to be.
Get rid of him, be happy. Find one who loves you like you deserve.
Good luck

Answer 2

You need to leave and not go back! My brother and his wife were married for 10 years and are now just getting divorced after going through the same thing. He had put her through hell almost their whole marriage. He cheated and she took him back, then he started hanging out with her best friend and she just thought they were close friends. Well it turns out they were sneaking around sleeping together for almost a year. Now that they are over, my sister-in-law has found a great guy who treats her so good, and he is awesome with her kids. They have 3 kids together, and she is so much better off now that she has finally let go and not given him another chance.

Answer 3

All I can say is be strong!! There are lots of fish in the ocean and probably better ones than him. You deserve better than that. You waited and wasted you life waiting for him to get out of jail for him to end up with your bestfriend god what sort of a friend is she???? You will find someone more deserving of your love. Someone that will treat you like a queen.

I meet my man when I was 36 so good things come to those who wait. You will know when you meet mr right. Join some clubs so you can meet people an what ever you do be care ful go slow it all takes time but its worth it in the long run.

Try and keep yourself occupied with family and friends go out an have a good time. When you go out dont look for someone to spend your life with he will come to you.

Good luck and stay strong I know it hurts but one door will close and another will open

Answer 4

I knew this would be hard for you,but if you can do this the better. Look after your daugther's welfare and yours.You can't depend on that kind of husband. File a divorce and if you can get away from that place,do it. Start a new life with your child.

Answer 5

Decide what you really want in a man. I am sure that once you set your sights on what you really want, he will not fit the description. Always shoot higher. Never settle for less than what you feel that you need. Being in prison is not really impressive, when it comes to choosing a man.

You can always work out the visitation and child support for your child. Just don't put daddy down. Your daughter will never forgive you for it. I know, my ex put me down, and my daughter has never forgiven him. Let her make her own judgments based on how he treats her.

Answer 6

Why do you think you need him in your life? he obviously doesn't want to be bothered with you if he's trying to sleep with your friend who probably isn't a real friend to begin with you need to cut both of them off seeing his daughter is fine with you but other than that he shouldn't be around. I've always said toxic people are bad for my health once you cut the strings you'll be better off. also get some much needed counseling.

Answer 7

Do you want your daughter to date or marry a guy like that?
Truth hurts sometimes...
Right now your confindence is shattered.
So, look at that beautiful little girl, and tell yourself
IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY that she learns wisedom,
love, and kindness.
and divorce that guy. and make him go to counseling with supervised visitation.
You don't deserved to be treated this way.

Answer 8

don't look at it as an end. look at it as a new beginning. Ask God for help///WISDOM: not emotion...You know your life will stink with him..Take the temporal pain for a permanent hapiness

Answer 9

just look for someone else to replace him and you will end up appreciating life again