I sent the messages from my boyfriend (of 7 yrs) to his ex... I sent them an "expert" online, and she came back with.. "you shouldnt worry, it sounds like they are just sorry for how it ended, but nothing more" and that I had no reason to worry??? I am going to give a link to the actual words exchanged between them...and someone tell me she is right!?! I was fine with what the ex was saying, it was HIM that made it sound like he wanted her back... please help.. thank you
Here is their conversation... what do you think about the expert saying I have nothing to worry about?
http://hometown.aol.com/makescentstrong/index.html
2007-10-20 18:50:23 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think the online expert needs to re-read .. and re-think.
It's crystal clear of the feeling that existed.. and exist.
" I " would be concerned with the words spoken, and exchanged between them. Especially the ones that said they thought of each other - and if destined, they might could finish what they started ... hmmmm .. yes, this would concern me.
I don't know what your online expert was thinking.
I totally agree with you .. it is him that I would worry about the most.
2007-10-20 19:28:46 · answer #1 · answered by Tara 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you. It is so heartbreaking to hear or see words from the person in whom you have invested so many years, the person you expect to be loyal to you, saying this sort of thing to someone else. I think the "expert" is just trying to make you feel better. It is possible your boyfriend is getting his kicks out of this like so many do - the "forbidden" is so much more exciting than the mundane. Have you confronted him with it? Personally I would be telling him - "if this is what you want you can have her" (of course it is obvious she doesn't want him). Say it and mean it and maybe it will bring him down to earth.
2007-10-21 05:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by ozinnz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! It sounds like maybe they just wanted a closure to their past relationship. They probably did love and cared about each other, but I think every person had like there first time love in there life. But I don't think he wants her back or leave you for her. It seems more like "what if" kind of thing. They seemed like they were reminiscing about old times. And they were just probably thinking like "what if" they stayed together and what would have happened between them? I don't think you should worry too much, but if your that concerned and troubled by it, then you should go to him and talk to him about that. Let him know it bothers you and how you feel about it. Ask him and just be straight forward with your question. Maybe that will make you feel better to know the truth. I hope things turn out well for both of you :)
2007-10-21 02:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by mommiesville 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me that she is very happy with whom she chose to marry, and at the end she tried to make that very clear to him (your husband). In all his remarks, he does make is sound as though he at some point would like to try again, if something should happen between the 2 of you, but according to her....there is no choice, she is staying with her husband, and is happy with him. I think that your husband is just caught up in the "what could have been", and he needs to get the picture that she does not mind talking to him, but as far as a relationship, she is very happy with her husband. And if he does not get that from what she said at the end, then he never will. I think that he is just mostly wondering what would have happened had they stayed together. But she has found her Knight, and he needs to leave her be. I hope that he has brains enough to read between the lines.
2007-10-21 02:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your instincts are right. He sure does seem pre-occupied with thoughts of her. May I ask why you have been with him for 7 whole years and you haven't made it "official"? Was it him who has been reluctant? Or both of you? That is a long time to invest in someone, only to get to this point, where you can't trust. Maybe, it's a good thing that you learned of his "secret" feelings, and it could be the opportunity for you to move on. It's time for you to reflect on how much longer, and how much more energy you want to put into this relationship. Best wishes to you.
2007-10-21 02:47:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would not worry about his ex, it sounds like she was just reminiscing. She seems happy in her life, she mentioned you and her current relationship. Your boyfriend on the other hand, did not mention you at all and sort of changed the subject when she brought you up. Personally I would not want to be with someone who makes it sound like he settled, because he could not be with his "true" love. Look to yourself and if you feel that this is not the right person to be with, then let him go. You deserve to be with someone who cares about you. Good luck...
2007-10-21 02:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by sky_younker 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He was probably thinking of what could've been. There is always that one person in someones past that always seems to come back. My husband has one too but she hasn't made herself known, at least not to me. He found her on myspace, so he went looking for her...Why? I would seriously reconsider the relationship as hard as it may be. Once they start to stray the trust is just not there anymore. If he felt that way about her before he might really want to check out if they have something now that time has gone by.
2007-10-21 02:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by helpful one 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you have plenty to worry about. I feel so bad for you because what he is saying to her is that he has never gotten over her and she is still number 1 in his heart.... so what does that make you second choice and someone that is just a substitute? I can't really tell you what to do and never would but I can tell you I would be extremely hurt and feeling betrayed. I can say that if this happened to me I could never feel the same about my spouse.
Good Luck... you seem to be a wonderful woman and he should feel lucky he has you!
2007-10-21 02:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by DavidV 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have to think that the 'nothing to worry about' came from the way "she" responded to him. I don't think she'd ever go back to him, she sounds happy with her husband....
As for your boyfriend, I would kick his a** to the curb. If he would have mentioned you and how good his life is now I wouldn't think that way. He should have made it clear that this is part of his past that he regrets, because it sounds to me like this is a regret that he still lives with. Tell him how you feel and see what his response is. Doesn't sound as if this is the best thing for you.
2007-10-21 02:00:05 · answer #9 · answered by pjt 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I agree that the ex wasn't saying anything wrong. She made it clear several times that the person (Tim) she is married to is her "Mr. Right".
He sounds like he still has a thing for her and sounds kind of obsessed with her.
2007-10-21 11:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋