why is divorce so common and how do you think we fix it...?

Question

Im not married i dont have a girlfriend, but i think America is as only as strong as the family is strong and divorce in America is a way of life single mother homes are very common...will it always be like this and why has it comes to this does the blame fall on any one thing? if youve been divorced or been married for awhile id apprecaite if you could explain this to me since im not in your shoes and havent experienced anything like this...if there is any way that marriage in our country can be fixed what do you think it is...thanks.

Answer 1

It is all based on what people are willing to work for now. We are being trained from many different areas in our life to expect instant gratification. People don't want to work at marriage anymore. They want to get married and live happily ever after. It does not work like that. Marriage and relationships are a constant development of understanding, compromising, collaberating, teamwork, respect, humility, and love.

I know my wife and myself were very very close several times to being at least separated. She says that I was the one that held it together. I came from a non-divorced family, and she came from a childhood of divorced parents. She used to think that if the married couple was not happy, then they should just end it. She also believed that it was better to get a divorce so the children would not see the parents in a fighting relationship.

My thoughts are that our children need to see their parents in an argument or heated conversation(non-violent and non abusive of course) and see them be able to work it out, get over it, learn from it, and move forward. Our children need good examples. Unfortunately, those examples are just not there anymore.

Men need to step up and be MEN. Too much childish partying, disrespect for women, selfishness, and "my way or the highway" attitudes are present in our males today.
Guys, do what is right and pay respect where respect is due. Women are not our housecleaners/slaves and we need to work as a team together.
We, as a gender need to take the role of the lead in the family and not leave it up to the mother/wife to do everything in the household. I see sports, tv, and videogames as a huge contributor to men not being able to focus on what needs to be done.

Women need to not put up with the garbage men throw at them. But, at the same time, not go overboard and jump ship. (This being said that the relationship is not abusive)
Women need to expect more from their men and remember that they deserve our respect. Men need to respect women's wishes and abide by these. If a wife does not like porn, men, you need to respect this. Women, remember, just because "all men look at porn" doesn't make it all right. That isn't correct anyway, because not all men do look at porn.

Our perceptions have been skewed and it is time to get back to our roots of moral, disciplined people. Marriage is not a test drive. Marriage is for keeps!!!!!

Answer 2

I'm no marriage expert - I'm only married 7 years and I find it to be one of the hardest things I've ever chosen to do and I love my husband to pieces...That being said, I have a couple of thoughts about about why divorce is so common. I preface this by letting you know I am not anti-feminist as I am all for equality for women in any area but I am more conservative in my ideas. First, divorce, in my opinion, is too easy. By that I mean it's an easy decision to come to - you get a little miffed, don't feel like working it out, you just go get an attorney. There is no incentive to stay married or even get married for that matter! Secondly, (here's where I'm gonna hear it from the women libbers), so many women work outside of the home either out of necessity or choice, leaving zero time for relationships. (Men are also guilty of this...) If kids are involved, it's work, kids, maybe some personal time, maybe some relationship time and start the day over again. No continuity or commitment to working at the relationship exists for most people. Sorry I'm rambling - it's late and not sure I'm expressing myself right. I guess if you look back over time, families and marriages were generally more stable when the wife or mother basically ran the ship by running the home and staying home with the kids. For the childless couples, I believe divorce is simple to them because they don't have to consider the impact on any other family members. The last few generations (myself included) are a little more self-righteous and self-centered where if it's not gratifying in the moment, it's not worth it. Most people just don't want to put the effort in. Again, sorry for rambling but those are my thoughts in a nutshell!

Answer 3

At the end of the day, a million couples want to blame marriage for the fact that they are not happy. A marriage consists of 2 people and it takes two people to make it work, not one. If a marriage is in the danger zone, it's impossible for a wife to think she can do something on her own to fix it. This is impossible. Also for a man to fix it on his own.

If you notice in Hollywood, marriages don't last that long, this is because people get married too soon and too young, when they have no idea what marriage or the value of it consists of.
After one hot, steamy scene, they forget that it's a movie being made and they start actually thinking of what it would be like to turn that "scene" into a reality. After they roll around in the sac a few times, they get tired of each other and realize that they don't have enough there to make a marriage last. That's Hollywood's excuse for failed marriages.

Normal people (not in Hollywood), get married for the wrong reasons too these days because, love is not the priority. Alot of women get married, because they grew up reading and flipping through wedding magazines, looking at flowers and glamorous dresses, thinking that it's the most wonderful thing in the universe. Some women want to get married because they're pregnant and feel that it's the next step, some women just want a man's money or the wedding "show" and not the actual commitment. Some women just want a ring and nothing more. Men on the other hand, may think a woman can be a good Mother to his children, but she may not be able to fulfill his needs in the bedroom or the kitchen, or in other areas, needed to make him happy as a whole. This causes him to cheat and seek fulfillment on the side, the wife finds out and there's divorce in progress. People don't like to work for love anymore, they just think that if two people are attracted to each other and like to have sex with one another, then things will be fine. Marriage takes work and commitment and a sense of family values, before walking down the aisle. If a couple marries for the wrong reasons and don't have enough trust and communication, that's when divorce is likely to happen. This is however only my opinion.

-Knowledge24

Answer 4

Why Are Divorces So Common

Answer 5

Who says we need to fix divorce? Sometimes a divorce IS fixing it. A divorce can keep a man from beating his spouse to death. A divorce can keep a pediophile father from harming his children any futher. A divorce can free one spouse from a controlling tyranical ruler of the home. A divorce can free a man from an alcholic wife and allow the man to get take the children and give them somewhat of a "normal" home. Divorce isn't ALWAYS a bad thing and not every marriage is a happy one.

Answer 6

lack of role models
with a 50% plus divorce rate
everyone knows at least 1 married couple who has been divorced or is going through one
and as such so much of todays youth coming up have no role models
and are selfish and self absorbed
the problem is not divorce
it's marriage
it's far to easy to get done
with little to no pre education nor qualifications required
that and a me too attitude among women has led to the rise in divorce
i do not see it ending any time soon
usually massive world wars bring lower rates of divorce
as women realize they will be less men coming back and a general appreciation of life and men

Answer 7

Because people are wiling to admit they made a mistake, instead of living years of unbearable, misery wth someone they do not love.

However getting 'divorced' is not as easy as some people may think.

In Australia you have to be seperated for a year before you can even file for diovrce.....then you HAVE to attend mediation to 'try' to reconcille.
It can be a long tedious drawn out thing............and then theres the property settlement and childrens issues........
So to the people who say 'getting a divorce is too esy these days' ........they are wrong.

Answer 8

Why does everyone want to fix it? How does it affect you in anyway? It doesn't. The only reason people want to FIX it is because of their own fears of divorce. I have lots of reasonings as to why divorce is more common now than it used to be, but since it's asked so much here, I'm kind of tired of typing it. But, one thing I always wonder is why people are such in an uproar about it when there are so many bigger issues in the world that acuatally AFFECT our lives. Divorce, directly, does not affect us in any way.

The only way it can be fixed is to go back to the centuries before the 1900s and get married for financial reasons. That's not going to happen unless we take away women's lib.

Answer 9

Common reasons for divorce is

Lack of commitment
Too much arguing
Infidelity
Marrying too young
Unrealistic expectations
Lack of equality
Lack of preparation
Abuse
unreasonable behaviour

i think couple must take advice from realtionship expert.... easy solution to save our married life...

Ref :- http://www.cathycoacheschange.com

Answer 10

i think that most marriages in divorces because they can't work out their problems. they can't sit down like two grown adults and come to a compromise. communication is very important. and people don't realize that. another reason is that people are getting married before they are mature enough for it.