I talked to the person on the phone who saw my husband making out with some woman in Walmart's parking lot, her description of his cloths and vehicle matched.
After he came home with a Walmart plastic bag, I kicked him in the nuts and proceeded to grill him for an hour about what happened, yet he denied everything saying it was a misunderstanding.
I packed up some cloths and I'm now at my brother's and his wife's house. My husband came over finally admitting to kissing this lady and in tears, he was begging me to forgive him. Being angry, I told my brother send him on his way.
I asked my brother and his wife what I should do and they said for me to do what I think is right and I can stay as long as I need.
The problem is, not only did he hurt me, but he also humiliated me since all my friends now know. I wondered if I could forgive him, yet when think of him I'm disgusted and have no trust anymore. I can't see myself going back.
Am I being to harsh? What would you do?
2007-10-20 18:30:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know some may think "well it's only a kiss," but what if I he wasn't caught? Could it have gone all the way? What if he is only sorry for getting caught and not for actually cheating?
I replay these questions over and over in my head.
2007-10-20 19:01:37 · update #1
No, you are definitely not being too harsh. There are some women who would rather act like a doormat and would actually put up with that kind of behavior. You had to show him you mean business. Forget about what your friends think. If they are truly your friends, they will only have your best interest at heart and will support whatever decision you make. He has a lot to prove to you, and I think it is HIM that needs to go to counseling, not YOU & HIM. He is the one that did the betraying of your vows, and if HE actually wants to earn your forgiveness and trust again, then it should be on your terms, not his. If he is unwilling to go to counseling by himself (at first) then I would think he must not care about the marriage anyway. After HE figures out why HE acted like such an a**, and learns how he hurt you deeply and forever, THEN you should give him another (cautionary) chance. Best wishes.
2007-10-20 19:07:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he does it once he will do it again. I don't know what religion you are though. If you are Catholic the right thing to do is go back and tend to your marriage. You need to lay down the law and don't let him get away with it. Make his life hell for a while. Maybe you should both go to counseling and make him go no matter what he wants. I can see where you would be hurt. He is one DUMB MAN to cheat on his wife. Most people would give their left NUT to have a wonderful wife that cares with all these divorces today. Most women want a loser that will cheat on them. I don't know why. If you don't have long hair sandals and don't shave for a month most girls don't want anything to do with you. Although these are the same creeps that cheat on their girls and wives. Well you need to make a decision to be a STRONG WOMAN and make it work or toss this guy to the curb. It's your decision and your brother and wife are great to have you stay with them but you will have to make a move soon. It will be better to move and do something than just sit around and be humilitated by this LOSER. GOOD LUCK !!!!
2007-10-20 20:53:14 · answer #2 · answered by Joe A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being too harsh. Infidelity is the most fatal mistake for a marriage. Don't worry about what other people will think, look in yourself for answers. You have a very understand brother. The question right now is not whether you should forgive him. The question is whether you can forgive him. If you still want it to work and your husband does too, I recommend the two of you go to couple therapy.
2007-10-20 18:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that your husband has done this. He certainly has some issues that you both need to discuss. Usually in a marriage if one of the partners is looking elsewhere then something is wrong with the marriage. (NOT YOU THE MARRIAGE) ok. I would suggest going to marriage guide councellor. Trust me they do help. I have been married for 37 years and have had ISSUES myself in the past. If you love him, and you do or you wouldn't be telling us your problems, then do everything in your power to win him back, if you think he is worth the hard work, then go for it girl. I wish you both every success. Oh and the person who told you over the phone isn't a good friend so I wouldnt worry about what others think of your marriage. After all it is YOUR marriage not theirs. So good luck.
2007-10-20 18:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I will not say that you did wrong in coming to your brother's house. But how long can one have shelter in other place. On the other side, one should always remember that the one who forgives is a bigger person morally. Take him to the place of worship and make him comment and be sorry. Just by saying sorry, one is not so, until he really feels sorry then I think give him a chance.
2007-10-20 19:43:18 · answer #5 · answered by sgog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately you will have to decide what is right for you. Once someone violates a person's trust, it can be very hard to build it back up.
Give yourself some time to think this over, it's good you have family to help you out.
2007-10-20 18:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by Infernal Disaster 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being to harsh. Do what you want. Don't let anyone else tell you what you should or should not feel. What you feel is neither right or wrong. If is what you feel and you have a right to it.
2007-10-20 18:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shook Ones pt.II, not by making use of a lot regardless of the shown fact that. i admire the pass, hook and pace on C.R.E.A.M. greater regardless of the shown fact that. yet Shook Ones gained me over with the lyricism, and this is eerie instrumental, and it rather paints a image in my recommendations once I pay attention.
2016-11-09 01:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!! Me and my wife always fight and argue together, but we still love each other. When you truely love someone, its perfectly normal to tolerate alot of BS crap from the spouse.
2007-10-20 18:41:08 · answer #9 · answered by pain_of_unhappiness 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think there is always someone out there for you...that wouldnt do things like that to hurt you. Like they say...once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater...no matter how long you stay seperated...hes gunna do it again...hes not mr. right
2007-10-20 19:00:09 · answer #10 · answered by notoriussha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋