my wife and I are going through some major issues of cheating from the past....we were both guilty of it. I was a merchant marine traveling all over and we would fight all the time. now we are trying to striaghten things out but my wife doesnt want to go to counseling because she doesnt want to re-live the past. What good is counseling for me if my own spouse wont participate. at times im like should we stay together or just split but i really want it to work at all cost. My last resort was this marriage counseling before I make make any stupid decisions. appreciate the advice
2007-10-20 18:27:33 · 8 answers · asked by Mr Confused 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we have two beautiful kids and we are only 25 and we own our own home and have great jobs.....but our past keeps coming up....is there anyone that went to marriage counseling w/o their spouse and what did it do for you?????
2007-10-20 18:35:59 · update #1
Going to a counselor on your own may help you work out your own issue's about your past. If she does not want to relive it, then you have to decide if that is a deal breaker. She has her reasons for not wanting to go. It could be that there is something from her past that she is not willing to expose. Maybe she would want to go on her own and deal with it herself. If she does not want to do either, then there could be some resentment on your part. The only person that can decide what is best for you is you. I hope all works out for you, one way or the other...
2007-10-20 18:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by sky_younker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our issues are not on cheating, but plenty of other issues. I tried it by myself, that didn't work for me. Now we are going together, and sometimes I wonder what in the hell am I thinking even trying to make this work. One day I think we are making progress, and another day he acts like an idiot and I feel I am no better off than before. I can't tell you how it will turn out, as I am in the beginning stages. At least try, then that way if you can't resolve things then you tried. I love my kids, but if I had to do it again I would have left sooner. Now it's complicated.
2007-10-21 03:30:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll give you an example. In school when you do a group project but you have a slacker on the team. Do you not work either and everyone fail. Or do you pick up the extra work and everyone gets an A? Go to consoling by yourself. Show your wife with your action that you want this work.
2007-10-21 01:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see her point as to not wanting to relive the past and all that, but it is no secret you both know what has been to oneanother. Even though it hurts, people need counseling sometimes to get through hard times, we need an outside opinion or knowledge on how to handle certain situations because we don't just know how to handle things.... that is something that is learned.... she needs to go if she wants to stay married...hurtful or not tell her to suck it up and just go.
2007-10-21 01:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the question of the marriage counselor as to what good it will do you. For one thing it will help you deal with her resentments should they arise and they likely will. On the other hand, MAYBE she indeed has put them in the past. Only time will tell.
2007-10-21 01:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by Skully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mr.Confused...
I would like to turn that question around and ask the same thing about my husband. He is the same way about going to counseling and I'm about to give up hope..
If you find answers I would love to hear them also.
2007-10-21 01:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by curious_59 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your wife wont go seem.s like se isnt done cheating ad dont want help in saving her marrage to me that.s how it look.s to me my opion?
2007-10-21 01:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she will not go do it for yourself to learn nore about you and understandin her
2007-10-21 01:58:13 · answer #8 · answered by mc52132000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋