I went on business trip and a female coworker of mine was leaning up on me with her arm around me. I, being drunk as well, put my arm around her and basically was holding her up for a chunk of the night. Nothing else happened, but I felt guilty about it so I told my wife. Now she is rightfully furious and has lost all trust in me. What can I do to earn her trust back?
2007-10-20 18:06:55 · 15 answers · asked by I wanna talk to Samson 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also walked her back to her hotel with a bunch of people and left her in front of the hotel. Again, nothing happened, but I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
2007-10-20 18:18:47 · update #1
My husband did something similar and also was honest with me. I, also was furious, because the person I love and trust most in the world hurt me. It made me start to wonder if maybe we weren't happily married.
We got past it. I consider it a blip on the marriage screen. Though, I must warn you. Your wife most likely will forgive you, but she will never forget it. She may bring it up over the years at a time when you were stupid and hurt her. You will have to deal with that. Suggestion, when it does come up, just apologize again. Don't get mad at her for not forgetting this episode. You made her doubt her life.
You've apologized to your wife. You have told her it will never happen again. It may not seem like it now but, she is giving you points for the honesty. The anger will last for a few days. In the meantime, just go on as if it never happened. She wants to put this topic away. If you keep saying you're sorry, the memory of what you did will not fade.
You'll survive this. If anything it might your marriage stronger, because you now know how lucky you are.
2007-10-20 18:52:52 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we get caught in the position of a good samaritan when we have no choice. If someone else had stepped up to help this lady you wouldn't have had to and being that she was a co-worker you probably felt obligated. Telling your wife about it was a choice that you made even though you didn't have to. I feel that you being drunk at the time was the factor that made it difficult. Your wife probably feels because the two of you were drunk and out of town.. something else must have happened. Unfortunately we tend to think the worst. Your wife should realize that this was one of those incidents that you really didn't need to share with her and could have said nothing ... but you did, trusting that she would be understanding of your position. Just a little advice for future business trips my friend ... it's your job when out of town to make your wife feel safe and loved. Drop the drinking and spend your time talking with your wife via phone or computer. It's difficult when one is out of town and the other is at home maybe feeling insecure. Send her flowers at home while away. Do some little thing she's not expecting from you to make her day when your away. She'll feel much safer, secure and loved. Trust will never be an issue if she knows without a doubt that she will always be first with you.
2007-10-21 00:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough thing to ask. However I, being a married man myself, be aware of that a man faces temptations day-to-day and on a daily basis that you're effective over those temptations is enormous. The object is, best you and Lord enjoy those every day victories. And for the sector and your family specifically they can't see that and will simplest see the screw ups when and if they arrive. So if you've fallen in a moment of weakness, despite the fact that it used to be no longer bodily, the one factor you are able to do is correct yourself and show your spouse by way of consistency and time that you're the knight in shining armor that she married. Don't try to erase the error and do not attempt to make it go away. At this factor it's aside of your previous and the extra it descends into the previous the less it'll haunt your future. Be the person of your dwelling. Stand tall on your family and continue to be the non secular advisor inside the partitions of your temple. You expressed your remorse and apologies to your spouse now you must return to being the chief. You must find it in your self to recognize your self and in time she is going to see that and respect you too. I pray that the whole lot goes well for you brother and that your loved ones thrives. The lord be with you and yours.
2016-08-05 21:49:31 · answer #3 · answered by barksdale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, give her time. "TIME" is a healer.
Next - be patient, patient, patient.
Always tell your wife the truth about what happened. Reassure your wife that you would never run around on her .. tell her that you need her to believe in you. Tell your wife daily that you love her .. and that she is the most important thing in the world to you. In other words, give her all the assurance that she needs to heal her wounds.
Ask for her complete forgiveness .. say you are sorry.
Ask your wife what you could do to get her trust back.
After awhile, ask you wife to talk to you. Do not yell, but talk in a quite, sweet, voice .. and ask her what she thinks about you .. and ask her about the trust that you share with her.
Keep on, keeping on .. letting her know that you are trust-worthy.
Time will tell.
You cannot MAKE her trust you .. but you CAN make every effort to help your situation.
If she never trusts you again, then there is nothing you can do to change it. Just always be trustworthy anyway.
2007-10-20 18:33:47 · answer #4 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this may well be a tough subject to ask. yet I, being a married guy myself, be attentive to that a guy faces temptations conventional and each and every day which you're positive over those temptations is great. the difficulty is, purely you and Lord experience those on a regular basis victories. And for the international and your loved ones fantastically they are able to't see that and could purely see the failures while and in the event that they arrive. So in case you have fallen in a 2d of weak point, despite if it became no longer actual, the only subject you're able to do is sweet your self and instruct your spouse by using consistency and time which you are the knight in shining armor that she married. do no longer attempt to erase the errors and don't attempt to make it flow away. At this element that's aside of your previous and the greater it descends into the previous the fewer it is going to hang-out your destiny. Be the guy of your place. Stand tall on your loved ones and stay the religious handbook interior the partitions of your temple. You expressed your remorseful approximately and apologies on your spouse now you are able to desire to flow decrease back to being the chief. you are able to desire to discover it in your self to appreciate your self and in time she would be able to see that and appreciate you too. I pray that each and every thing is going nicely for you brother and that your loved ones prospers. The lord be with you and yours.
2016-10-13 09:34:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust takes a second to lose but a lifetime to regain. Just keep telling her how sorry you are and how much she means to you. It is going to take some time but hopefully she will forgive you and begin to trust you again.
I would also lay off the alcohol in the future and don't let yourself get into situations where these things can happen.
2007-10-20 18:11:33 · answer #6 · answered by DD75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well from my experience, which was worse then what you did to your wife... My Husband broke my heart and we are going to marraige counseling to build the trust back in our relationship. It has been helping a lot! It was either that or calling it quits, because I couldn't live with someone I can't trust. I encourage you to do the same.
2007-10-20 18:14:17 · answer #7 · answered by thinkpeace 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure I can agree with your wife on this one unless you have cheated on her in the past.
If not, she is over-reacting a little to this situation. You were drunk and should have stopped a situation which was inapproriate but not initiated by you. You told her about it, you said you are sorry. Why is she so upset? This could be a sign of other issues in your marriage.
2007-10-20 18:16:44 · answer #8 · answered by banana6464 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband broke my heart too but i forgived him for it but it takes along time to regain the trust back in the relationship and maybe you should stop drinking and show her how much you love her and show her that she can trust you actions speak louder than words good luck and bravo for you for being honest to her and telling her what you did most people try to hide it she wil come around but dont get upset because it does take time to get the trust back
2007-10-20 18:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by lil momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll earn her trust back over time. You may even get discouraged if she seems like she won't ever trust you again, but if you remain honest and have good character, then you'll earn it.
Kudos for telling her!!
2007-10-20 18:33:21 · answer #10 · answered by ellen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋