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Everything's all set for the marriage to go forth between a man and a woman. Her dowry has been set. Her family pays the dowry. She marries this man who says he'll accept her until she dies. Then they have sex on their wedding night or whenever they feel they're ready. Now, his parents, accepted money from her parents so they could wed, and have relations. Doesn't that make him a hooker? Didn't his parents just pimp him out? Didn't her parents pimp her out? Doesn't that make her a john? What are u thoughts on this? Be honest, but nothing vulgar or rude please. thanks.

2007-10-20 17:59:18 · 22 answers · asked by Uncertain Soul 6 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

22 answers

Yes you are right such dowry demand & getting it makes the husband a hooker & his parents pimp in literate sense. The definition of dowry under section 2 of the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 states in this Act, "dowry" means any property or valuable security given or agreed to be given either directly or indirectly.

(a) By one party to a marriage to the other party to the marriage, or
(b) By the parent of either party to a marriage or by any other person, to either party to the marriage or to any other person.
This valuable property will not include the personal belongs of the bride such as her clothes, jewelries etc which are her Stridhan; She is the absolute owner of these property and can own it in her own right. Here there has to be a difference between stridhan & dowry, where as giving any stridhan to a daughter by her parents is absolutely legal & acceptable but giving or taking or demanding or offering any other valuable property (movable or immovable) just for the sake of marriage is both illegal & punishable offence under aforesaid Act. The status of any person any such valuable for marriage is similar to that of a hooker who accepts cash or valuable for sake of indulging in sex, here the only difference which one can make is that the hooker takes payment of valuable for one time or one day sex where as the person who takes valuable for marriage takes it for life long sex with such life partner. That's the shame for him or her who does so not only in the society but even in the eye of his or her own life partner. Any person who abets such a crime do becomes liable for such illegal activity similar to that of a pimp who engages a hooker for the customer, whether in case of marriage it’s the parents of the husband or any other relative. Let me bring to your notice that taking & demanding of dowry has been seen not only in case of groom or his relatives but even some cases where the same was demanded & taken by the bride & her relatives for the purpose of marriage. This fact may seem very funny & unique but it has happened & it takes place in some societies in India. Just two days back some one sent me an email where in he told me that the parents of his girl friend whom he loves & want to marry are looking for Rs25 lakhs as compensation from her would-be husband, this amount they had spent on her since her birth till her M.B.B.S. studies which she is doing now. What will you call such a case??????

2007-10-20 22:34:39 · answer #1 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 3 0

the so called "dowry" is actually stridhana or a womans absolute property. she has absoulte say on what to do with this money. mostly such money is used to buy property for in the name of the wife or in lower middle class families to perform the marriage of a sister. it is wrong to compare dowry to pimp money that would then make you a prostitute who has paid money for sex which is worse then getting paid for sex. in case of divorce this money must be returned to the woman which is not the case with pimps/hookers/prostitutes. mostly this so called dowry is nothing but jewellery of the bride which the husband is not going to wear or use. if it is other form of movable property like cash then it is simply given to the husband in a fiduciary capacity - as a trustee not as a owner. only when there is a demand either express or implied for money or other valuables in consideration of marriage is there a question of dowry. if there was no demand and the property was given freely and without coercion / demand then it is stridhana. sometimes girls parents give freely at the time of marriage and later claim that it is dowry as there is no way to prove if it was dowry or stridhana as the distinction is not clear cut and easy to identify and people can change their version of the story to suit the current circumstances.

2007-10-20 18:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by Pramod R 4 · 0 0

These are very old mores in the northern hemisphere. I know it still goes on in places like India, etc. Remember that at the time human life was more valuable in some ways. With lots fewer people and sometimes diseases killing off whole villages it was important to make "restitution" to the family for taking one of their children away. In the case where the dowry was paid by a woman's father it was because girls were not as valuable because they could not do the work that men did, i.e. farming etc. (by the way, women have always pulled their weight, for instance in hunter gatherer societies we've discovered that women actually provided more of the food than the men did hunting, on a more consistent basis). It wasn't about the sex at all, it was about the "value" of that member to the whole and the survival of the society. People had already figured out too that you needed to get women from other villages so that you didn't get inbred too much either.

2007-10-20 18:14:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

The dowry given to a bride is known as "stree Dhan" (Women's money, u can say) over which her husband nor in-laws have any right and if they claim so , they are out laws. It is for sustaining her if she becomes a widow or if she wishes to divorce her husband on any ground. It is a system which if seen and applied positively is good. Not like western thoughts, that a woman marries a rich man, then divorces him and gets half the share in the earnings and estate of the man, and if it happens again in his life, poor fellow will be milked out of everything.

2007-10-20 18:37:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

This is a cultural question, and depending on the culture it is expected to give a dowry. That custom is fading even in Asian countries. If they both love each other and it is mutual the exchange of gifts does not relate to prostitutions. Prostitution is with some one you have no constant relationship with and no emotional attachment. The person would have to have several customers to establish her as a prostitute as well. However many woman do have a regular singular customer that would make them more a mistress.

If a woman needs money and you love her why not give a gift to her or her family. If you feel used don't do it. If you feel your buying love don't do it. If you think she loves you and you alone your lucky. The exchange of money may be seen in governments as prostitutions however I don't think it is valid to qualify that as prostitution from a biblical perspective.

2007-10-20 18:11:16 · answer #5 · answered by Panda Lover 2 · 3 0

Well,

This talk of dowry is all a face wash, actually, it is just plain business, cause the business practice is different in different castes of the world. It is not so that dowry(business in connection to marrige) exists only in India. Brides and Bridgegrooms both are bought and sold since ages in the history of mankind. there are number of situations in which societies/tribes adopted/developed such practices, and with changing times and changes in situations, even these practices get reversed. For instance in Punjab also, the custom of giving dowry to get daughters married was rampant, but lately we have been hearing news of brides being bought from Kerala, by paying money to the parents of the girl. Therefore, you see, it depends on how you look at it, whether, the boys parents paid dowry to the girls parents or they bought the girl from her parents. If you keep looking down upon the girl child, then you will say that she was sold by her parents, and if you look up to her, then you would say that... her parents too dowry for giving their daughter in marriage...
Either way, the practice of giving dowry or taking dowry, either by the boys parents or by the girls parents is wrong and a barbaric turnout of changes in the society/civilisation.

If the male to female ratio keeps deteriorating the way it is.. in the last couple of decades in India... then it won`t be long, before, the situation in most of rural india will be similar to the situation in rural punjab.

People need to be educated, that it is a barbaric practice as a whole, and it should be looked down up by one and all, for it to be abolished totally...

Especially, the educated and litrate classes of people should feel the shame to resort to such barbaric means for making easy money, this is worse then running a brothel... cause in a brothel, one does not sell or buy daughters or sons to make money...

People should boycott weddings which involve any form of dowry practice...

I personally practice this... therefore, I take it upon myself to also preach this...

regards to all...

vikas

2007-10-22 02:15:04 · answer #6 · answered by VIKAS 1 · 0 0

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2016-10-04 06:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

sure lots of people argue that these marriage customs are bad, but i think that sometimes parents and family giving their input & advice concerning a marriage partner can be a good thing.

the divorce rate in some countires points to the fact that people aren't making very good choices on their own.

2007-10-21 11:11:59 · answer #8 · answered by Daniel F 6 · 0 0

hi dear,
Yup u r right both the parents of girl n guy pimped their children.But sadly thats the truth abt India. But y r u thinking of it after ur marriage dear. This will hamper ur marriage very badly.So leave all this n get on wid ur life.

2007-10-23 21:40:45 · answer #9 · answered by secret f 2 · 0 0

Actually it's the parents at fault here, they are the johns in this case, as they are prostituting their children for dowry/gain.........the bride and groom have no say in what is going on......... But, that is just my humble opinion......

2007-10-20 18:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by bizzymom38 4 · 0 0

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