Non-feminist women: does this pinpoint your misgivings toward feminism?

Question

Many women hesitate to call themselves 'feminist". This seems peculiar - or perhaps just misinformed - to feminists who insist that feminism is just about equality between the sexes.

Of course, the vast majority of women (at least in modern, Western, liberal democracies) whether or not they call themselves "feminist", want:
Equal right to participate in the political process and equal recognition of all civil liberties, such as freedom of speech,
Equal right to control their finances, to own property,
Equal opportunity in education and employment,
Equal access to housing and healthcare,
Equal protection from physical harm,

Basically equality in all the goods of civic life that make it possible to pursue their own idea of the good life in a diverse society.

Is it that so many feminists want their idea of "equality" imposed on every aspect of culture and society?

On language and custom, on religion and tradition, on , courtship, marriage, parenthood, family and relationships, on...

on art and entertainment, on science and scholarship, and on everything else??

Does it then seem like, far from "equality", feminists see themselves as self-appointed guardians who claim to know what's best for everyone and try to shame anyone who differs?

Thisisme, Thank you! I think it's always constructive to try to clarify people's differences and I hope in some small way, I've contributed to that. It can make discussion more productive.

Answer 1

Does it then seem like, far from "equality", feminists see themselves as self-appointed guardians who claim to know what's best for everyone and try to shame anyone who differs?

YES YES YES YES YES!!! You worded it beautifully!

Answer 2

I cannot help but think that the picture painted of feminists is rather grim, and I have stated before in posts that the message has been lost by those who think things should be a certain way.

It's kind of like the men-folk who come into this forum day after day spouting their hatred for feminism because it IS supposed to be about equality; but has turned into a male-bashing WWF competition.

The fact is this - someone wants to be right. And in an opinion-based, hey-we-think-alike; be-my-contact-forum; there won't be too many facts.

There is line in my once favorite show, Six Feet Under, that comes to mind when I read this question.
Claire went on an Outward Bound sort of trip during her junior or senior year of high school.

If you remember what it was like to be 17, you'll remember thinking that you know everything and nothing bad could EVER happen to you.

Even though she was eventually kicked out for having pot, she was moved by how hard it was to trust your instincts in the wilderness and says something to the effect of, "I realize now I don't know $H!T about anything."

Which is where I think we all stand - some of us just read a little more than others.

Answer 3

yes and no for me.
I am not "studied up" with the feminist movement, so that is why I choose to remain somewhat impartial. I would rather take my time and make an educated decision vs. jump-in on the bandwagon. Though this "ism" does interest me, I feel there are greater problems to address in this world.

Also - I'm not overly concerned with the reputation that feminism carries, but a part of me feels there must be a reason so many are turned off by femanistS. In the same breath, I feel it very important to show my respect for the great many gains this movement has accomplished over the years... for women like myself.

Answer 4

To be honest with you,I wouldn't never see my self as a
non-feminist woman,because I am a woman,a woman with two daughters(15 &7),a woman who believes that men and women were put in this world for a reason.
What the h***,I mean why would anybody feels like they are more superior than the next person or feel that:

"This is why you here,so this is where you will stay and I don't want to hear no more about it".

Men and women are two different species and we think different and execute things differently.It's all about learning to accept that some people will never change.

One of my aunt is a non-feminist.........hahahaha.....!
Yes,believe it !!!................(lol).
She believe that a woman place should be at home raising the kids,she also believe that the man (her husband and all men) should have the final say.Even if it hand up hurting their family.But that's her........(lol).
IT WILL NEVER BE ME!!!

As to a female who believe that women has rights,than I'm most definitely fit in that category.
Lately,I've seen so much hate and anger toward a woman coming from other women who feels like if you don't think like us then you're not one of us.

I myself know what is right and what is wrong.
Just because a man decide to stay single,cause he feels that women are too demanding,well then that is his choice.To me ,the only way I would feel that he would wrong is if he goes around and say that women are b****** and the only thing they are good at is laying on their back,and that women have lot of nerves for wanting to do a man's jobs.

If a woman decide to be a feminist and decide to be a doctrine to women's right;well that is fine,I see nothing wrong with that.My kids grand-mother told me once,when she was growing up,it took a village to raise a child.I guess she meant they look-out for each other kids (the moms).
Same thing with a feminist:they believe that all women has rights and they should be treated any different cause they women.

I've seen feminists saying "WOMEN RULES",or "STAY OUT OF OUR LIFE".
When I see that,I say to myself that Y!A forgot to create the category called "Anti-men war" or "women war"............(lol).

The only thing you guys need to know about me is that I respect my husband as a man and as a husband.
He shows me respect,and take care his family.
He also know that I do not take orders.I'm a grown
woman.BE KIND AND RESPECTFUL.

NO WOMEN NOR MEN DESERVED TO BE CAST TO THE SIDE BECAUSE OF IGNORENCE.

YOU MAY CALL ME THE REFEREE!!!
Cause I've seen *WRONGS* on both side

Answer 5

What ill effects are you talking about? Feminist's are not stopping non-feminist women and men from living they way they want to. Feminism has given women the right to work and vote, so what ill effects are you speaking of?

Answer 6

I fall into the camp of women who want the basics, as you suggest. The freedom to live my life in any way I choose, as long as no one is hurt by it, just as any man can. This includes property ownership, employment opportunities, legal rights and basic freedoms. And I am grateful and respectful of the movement whose efforts allow me to live this life today.

Where I distance myself from the movement is in the necessity that seems to be felt by some feminists to criticize and villify men...blaming them for the ills of the world and the inequity women have suffered. Quite frankly, I am also incredibly grateful to men as well, for the life I currently enjoy. The cities that I visit, the structures that I see, the transportation I employ, the system of commerce that keeps me afloat - and the list goes on and on. Sure, I know that if women had been allowed to contribute to these things, they would have. But the reality is that they couldn't, so didn't. And that shouldn't take anything away from the men who created all these things and contributed them to our lives today...

Answer 7

The suffragettes were feminists and we owe them our right to vote. (That group of genteel ladies was abused, villified and imprisoned.)
Culture evolves and tradition takes a hit. What worked once, but does not work now, does not imply evil intent in that past era, but only illuminates ignorance.
Let us educate and make of men and women trusted allies rather than antagonize people into becoming enemies.
Simple solutions are often wrong. We need patience to build the complex solutions that are right.

Yes. I don't call myself a feminist. They wouldn't want me.
C. :)!!

Answer 8

Yes I agree with you and I think from today I am feminist. But I still respect men and know that most of them are cool

Answer 9

No I could careless about equality in the first place no matter what platter you put on it, yet those things you have listed they have been there for a very long time; much longer than what the complaining is going on about. Relegion and marriage have nothing to do with it. This is where this gal stands.
Also I could careless about what any feminist has got to think.
My mind is made up.

Answer 10

Regular people who want equality don't need to be feminists because equality was given to women with really very little fuss.

Feminists go way beyond the pale of reasonable standards of equality. They are hysterical.