I've always complained about DeBeers' stupid monopoly on diamonds and how diamonds are so overrated. I also said that engagement rings are a waste of money. I also said a few times that the idea of marriage scares me.
Why then would my boyfriend propose to me with an engagement ring with three diamonds on it?? It seems sweet of him, I know, but at the same time he totally disregarded my opinions and fears. What do you think?
2007-10-20 17:31:34 · 35 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage scares me because I know a lot of married people who are so unhappy, especially my parents.
2007-10-20 18:13:16 · update #1
i think its a sweet gesture on his part but you should tell him how you feel... maybe he can take the ring back. he might have thought that you were like most other girls, materialistic., etc. Personally i DONT want an engagement ring because i feel the same way you do, regarding Debeers and their control over diamonds, and how people are exploited to mine for them. But you should definitely have a heart to heart with him and tell him how you feel... guys figure that all girls like the glamour of a huge rock and might have forgotten how you felt. and if you'tre not ready for marriage, its a good thing that you recognize this because theres nothing worse than getting married without being ready. that almost always leads to divorce!
**EDIT-- after reading the other responses- WOW some of these b*tches sound CATTY! perhaps they dont have anyone proposing to them?? in any event, you have your beliefs and dont let them make you feel bad. He'll understand when you talk to him about it... good luck!
2007-10-20 17:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by Addie 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do him a favor and end your relationship. You are not ready for marriage. You state "I also said a few times that the idea of marriage scares me."
Forget the whole diamond engagement issue. That's jsut a ring- a piece of jewelry. It's superficial. (Although I do agree with you on the DeBeer's ownership of all the diamond mines)
It could have been an opal, a ruby, a pearl-I have a feeling you woudl still be freaked out by the proposal anyway.
If you feel the relationship is worth salvaging, ask yourself why the idea of marriage scares you? Consider marriage or couples counseling. Could you picture yourself committed to this man for a lifetime? How solid and strong has your relationship been prior to the proposal? Do you see yourself with him in the next 5-8-10 years? Do you have the same life goals as your boyfriend?
All the best to you. I hope things work out.
2007-10-20 17:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by Sharon F 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you should talk to him and ask if you can help select something different as your engagement ring. Tell him you love the idea but if he will remember, you have already told him how you feel about this. Did he buy this 3 stone ring to impress people at work or did he buy it for you?
And why do young couples buy 3 stone rings when they really don't have "past" yet to celebrate? That ring is appropriate after you have been married for 10 or more years. Not for an engagement.
Go out on the GreenKarat.com website. This is a company that makes recycled diamond, gold and gem jewelry. They take old wedding bands and engaement rings and melt down the metals and take out the old diamonds etc. and reshape them into gorgeous new rings. It's a way to have a diamond without making someone die in a mine so you can be shiny.
2007-10-20 17:39:44 · answer #3 · answered by Mimi Di 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put aside your self for a moment. He did consider your opinions on the matter. A man considers every aspect of the woman he loves when he chooses a ring that he sees as being SYMBOLIC of his love. To that he adds his own opinions and fears and understands that TOGETHER you both will have more opinions and fears.
It's because you don't base your relationship and potential future together on the SIZE of the diamond that he probably CHOSE or DEEMED you worthy of displaying 3 diamonds on your engagement ring.
He wants other men and women to see that his love for you is more than diamonds can ever offer or hold.
He's considered you to in every choice he made in selecting that ring for you and with only you in mind. Consider, the diamonds to represent the flaws a person can have. Can you overlook those flaws to beauty within the love that that ring means and symbolizes? Reject it and you may be rejecting him for seeing past the flaws for the love it inspired in him.
I hope you give it some more thought. It isn't the ring or the size of the diamonds or how many diamonds, it's the love it symbolizes.
2007-10-20 17:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by Carol T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this may well be a question to ask your lady pal. If she particularly needs a diamond, then you particularly ought to evaluate it as an option. Many different places interior the international produce diamonds that are no longer 'conflict diamonds'. the U. S. do no longer import conflict diamonds and the sale of those diamonds are unlawful. I advise which you hit upon an excellent jeweler and ensure the place the diamond got here from in the previous you purchase. I agree that diamonds are high priced. they're, in spite of everything, a chew of coal! yet maximum women desire to instruct off a diamond engagement ring. With that stated, in the adventure that your lady pal would not care no count if she gets a diamond engagement ring or no longer, then purchase her a white sapphire ring. It won't have the comparable 'hearth' as a diamond, yet they particular look like diamonds!
2016-10-13 09:30:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you said all of that, think about this... In our culture that's what most people do to propose and show their love. I'm sure he didn't totally disregard you about the diamonds. He was just proprosing the way he thought he should...
As far as the marriage thing goes, maybe you should talk to him more about it. Obviously he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. I'm assuming he thinks you do too. It's okay to be scared, it's change, but let me ask you this.... First, how long have you been together? If it's been a long time, then did you just plan on spending the rest of your life dating? Why date if you don't want to get married at some point?
If you want to marry him, of course you should be happy about it.
2007-10-20 17:38:41 · answer #6 · answered by Sixer236 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HUH???? If you have that much baggage and don't get what marriage is, he needs to take the ring back and RUN!!
DeBeers monopoly? OMG! You going to tell us that the oceans are going to rise 20 ft in the next century next?
Okay the whole exploitation thing sucks. But really, if you want something else ASK FOR IT!!!! Don't just drop hints and muckrake DeBeers. This isn't about an exploitative diamond company its about your future.
2007-10-20 19:39:18 · answer #7 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that marriage scares you but you did not say that you would not do it. A man cannot ask you to marry him without an engagement ring.(not in his eyes) I don't think that he is disregarding your fears. I think that he loves you and wants to marry you. Don't be afraid of marriage. A lot of them that do not work is because people settle and marry the wrong person. You can make it work. Good luck and cherish your ring.
2007-10-20 17:46:20 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's extremely sweet. Guys are always terrified of the whole "she really wanted that when she said that she didn't" thing. Maybe he thought that the opinions that you voiced about diamonds, marriage and engagement rings were voiced out of fear of never having any of the above. At any rate, it's your opinion that matters most, I would talk to him about how you feel, explain the reasons behind your opinions and remember: he wants to spend the rest of his life with you - you must be important to him and he wants to make you happy.
2007-10-20 17:36:00 · answer #9 · answered by pjt 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He probably felt that you said the ring was a waste of money so he wasn't expected to spend lots on ya and though you said it scared you maybe he believed that your fears would be wiped away when he popped the question. Just a guess. Good luck.
2007-10-20 17:36:15 · answer #10 · answered by Al 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋