I have been in a very great relationship for 5 years and friends for another 2 now i am engeged. to my fiance would like if i decided not to work . We do plan on having kids in the future and i would love to home with them but i do have a pretty good career at the moment but it would be no problem for me to be at home especially since we want kids in the future.
2007-10-20 17:11:10 · 13 answers · asked by cash 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would seriously write to a 4 column pros and cons chart and discuss the issue together as a couple.
Column One- Housewife (No children yet) List out pros & cons
Column Two-Remain working in your established career until you do start to begin a family- List pros & cons
Only you & your fiance will know what is best for the 2 of you. One thing to think about, and certainly not meant to scare you at all. Sometimes women have no clue if they will suffer through infertility issues. It is a long a emotional battle. Sometimes it could be years worth of trying for a baby and in those years, you might have given up your career, as well as the additional income.
Sadly, I saw that happen to a friend of mine. After she got married, she continued some freelance work from home, but no real steady income. She was set on having kids ASAP. Well, it just didn't happen for her and after 9 years, their marriage has been in serious trouble for at least the last 3.
So-to go back and answer your question-just think about how your days will be spent not working and being home all the time if children don't come as quickly as you planned.
Best of luck to you.
2007-10-20 17:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sharon F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I would do if I were you (and this is actually what I did do), is wait until you actually have your first child (or wait until you are pregnant with your first child) and then stay at home. There is no reason for you to be at home all of the time right now. What are you going to do with all of that time. There is only so much housework you can do, and the rest of the time you will end up watching boring soap operas or wishing you had more friends who didn't work so that you had something to do.
Since you mentioned that you have a great career, you may begin to resent your husband because he wanted you to leave it.
Once you have children, you will be so busy with them that you won't have a chance to be bored or to think about the career you left behind. I used to be a teacher, and I wonder on a daily basis how teachers who have small children are able to do it!
2007-10-21 00:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by Somebody's Sister 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can answer this for you. I stayed at home with my kids for 13 yrs. Then I divorced thier dad. I had no experience in the work force and had to take jobs that did not pay well. However I loved the time that I was home with my kids and do not regret it at all. I raised them with the values that I know are important and they are fine and decent men.
When you do get married make sure that everything is in both of your names. Go ahead a work until you do have children and try to save yourself some money of invest it well.
2007-10-21 00:16:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and work until you actually become pregnant. you have a good career now and by working you are building up money and a good work history. No matter how good things are now, in any marriage there is the possibility of it not working out or something happening to him so that you have to work, so by working now you are building up good things to put on a resume should you ever have to write one out.
2007-10-21 00:22:19 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep working until the day you get pregnant. There's no reason you should stay home right now, you must not need the money, but it would be nice to go to work anyway & save up that "extra money" for your baby.
2007-10-21 00:15:42 · answer #5 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can stay at home with your children then by all means do! It is so beneficial to them. The family unit is suffering all over the world because children are put into day care so young. They need to be with one parent (either mom or dad) if at all possible. No one is going to take as good care of your children as you will.
2007-10-21 00:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by Ellen L 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you enjoy your job there's no reason why you shouldn't work for now. Once you have children you can stop working out of the house and raise them.
2007-10-21 00:16:01 · answer #7 · answered by a sanchez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're sure he wants you stay home and you want to stay home, then stay home. I'm sure it would be nice though, to have a little extra spending cash and support on the bills till you both have children. You're going to have to decide on that one.
2007-10-21 00:16:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should work and put back a little nest egg for the time you will be off as well as a little for the babies. You really need to listen to the DaveRamsey financil hou. He can help you start. You can call in for free advice
http://www.daveramsey.com/
2007-10-21 00:42:18 · answer #9 · answered by Bill P 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would wait until you are truly ready to have a family, and then
be a stay hom mom. if you do this now and things dont work
out then you will be angry with him and your self for not keeping your job. you have plenty of time to do this.
2007-10-21 00:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋