Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, its Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's
perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty (Bada boom)
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, "You've got a heart murmur. Be careful." (bada boom)
2007-10-20 16:50:38 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
oh man, I am sending these to my stepmom...she has to put up with my dad, who thinks the volume knob on his hearing aid should be at low, but keeps saying, " what ? what ? "
Thanks Goldwing,I am enjoying these jokes
2007-10-21 04:09:29 · answer #1 · answered by min 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A preacher owned a cursing parrot. Whenever the parishioners visited, the parrot would embarrass the preacher to no end. One day the preacher warned the parrot "if you ever curse when the church members come in you'll be severely punished"!
Guest arrived again and when the preacher opened the door the parrot let out a string of curse words that would embarrass any sailor. When the quest left the preacher picked up the parrot, walked to the freezer, opened the door and pushed him inside as he said "I told you you'd be punished!"
The preacher waited 30 minutes , opened the freezer door and asked "Well, did you learn your lesson"? The shivering parrot glared at him and said "YYY-eee-sss-
I just have one question. What did that turkey in there do?"
Goldwing, here's the connection to your "hard of hearing" jokes.
My 95 yr old deafened Aunt Nonie told this joke til the end!
Thanks for letting me use your points to tell it :)
Keep 'em coming. Blessings- Juju
2007-10-20 18:01:41 · answer #2 · answered by Ju ju 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
These were really cute. I've had my hearing tested about every five years, for years, because of a problem. I'm doing fine, no worse, no better. However, I've been going to the Suddenly Senior website, you know, Geezerweb, for jokes. Have you tried this site. It's outrageous and one of the best of all the best, Senior sites available. Just full of all kinds of information that Seniors need. Besides, Frank went to college at Greensburg.
2007-10-20 19:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by Cranky 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband says, " I can hear a pin drop in a tornado."
I know that this past summer I was enjoying the neighbor's fountain, other neighbors talking with each other (about the dry spell), children yelling while playing on a trampoline 4 houses away. I can hear my phone ringing (when the window's open) 3 houses away. We all live on lots at least an acre.
2007-10-20 19:01:55 · answer #4 · answered by kriend 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is not a real test, but stand behind him and clap your hands loudly if he reacts he can hear if her doesn't react then he can't. At that age he is most likely going deaf if he isn't already.
2016-05-23 23:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by felipa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knock on wood I can hear a Pin drop. What I hate is the volumn on TV"s, you have it set for one channel then a commerical comes on and it's increased in volumn, or you change the channel and that station is higher or lower in volumn. And I know it's not me, as that is the only time I can tell any difference.
2007-10-21 08:39:18 · answer #6 · answered by Moe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A gifted slum kid grew up and became a famous actor...he never forgot his wonderful old grandma down in the ghetto and always remembered her on her birthday no matter where he was out in the glittering world. Looking for a perfect gift for her birthday, he went to a fine pet store and purchased a remarkable imported parrot--which, though ordinary in appearance, spoke 5 languages. Carefully, he instructed the shop owner to have the parrot delivered to his grandma on her birthday--since he himself would be out of town on location.
When he returned, he called his grandma and asked her if she'd gotten his gift. "Oh Sam," she said, "It was delicious...and the gravy, to die for!!". Sam, horrified, said "Grandma, that wasn't a regular bird...that was a special imported parrot who could speak 5 languages!"
Grandma replied, "So, why didn't he say something?"
2007-10-21 00:05:00 · answer #7 · answered by constantreader 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Great jokes, I liked the heart murmur one best, probably did him more good than little pink pills.
2007-10-21 00:02:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I've not had my hearing testing lately. (Just following community guidelines by answering your q) lol
Loved the jokes! You are on top form today. hugs x
2007-10-20 23:49:53 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
thanks big guy !!
needed a laugh this a.m. with all the sh*t going on around here lately
and just to keep it honest -- no i haven't had my hearing tested lately
probably something i should do, because all i hear lately are the walls falling down around y/a seniors
2007-10-21 07:37:12 · answer #10 · answered by bassetfreak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had mine tested a couple years ago, it's really good. Sounds like those folks aren't so fortunate though. lol Those were really cute, thanks for the laughs, I think that's just what we needed around here this evening.
2007-10-20 17:11:49 · answer #11 · answered by luvspbr2 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋