i dont even know where to begin. i feel lonely, sad and frustrated at times, especially when i fight with my husband. he frequently lies to me about things that have to do with money. when we fight it gets ugly but when things are good, theyre real good. i dont know if im depressed or if these feelings i have are normal to have. my question might not even make sense to u because my state of mind right now is unstable and confused. please help
2007-10-20 16:32:04 · 8 answers · asked by mich 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't let these emotions ruin a good thing. Short of abuse or cheating, there is no good reason for divorce. You both need to learn how to conrtol your anger. I was once in that position. Although, at first, I thought it was impossible, I managed to learn to bite my tongue. My biting my tongue helped her learn to bite her's. Your feelings are very normal. Every marriage will endure times when the stability of the marriage is in doubt. Whether the stability is strong is on the shoulder's of the two involved. You must tell yourself that no matter what happens, short of abuse or cheating, my marriage will not become another negative statistic. Your strengths should be his weaknesses and vice versa. Lean on each other when times get tough instead of pushing each other away. At the time it feels impossible, but it can be done!
2007-10-20 16:37:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Me and my boyfriend just ended a three year relationhip over a really ugly fight, when we are getting along, things are great, but then bombs go off when we fight, one day the fight just got out of hand and he decided he has had enough and walked out the door with his stuff in hand. My break up is fresh, a few days friesh, im unstable as well, but after a few days, i realize fights like that arent normal, you either happy or unhappy, if the depression stems from the arguements, then that is not normal. I had to waste three years trying to make it work for me and my ex, it was all wasted effort. I even helped this 28 year old man, he didnt work or wont look for work, and deep down i was unhappy, i was just taking a chance he might step up and be a man, the first thing this guyh did was go mooch off grandma, he will never grow up, i know this, and i still want the bum back, i think it only because i feel lonely, i lost all my friends for him too, trading my friends for his, big mistake, now he and his friends hate, see the thanks i get? get pro help, it better to talk to a pro then anyone, then your just ranting like me here.
2007-10-20 23:53:41 · answer #2 · answered by jen w 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is it possible there is more than one issue going on? If you are depressed and low, he might not want to tell you about the financial matters and then lies, which hurts you more. Would you be comfortable talking to your doctor about the depressed feelings or maybe a counselor?
And if he is lying for some other reason, get angry! If that doesn't help maybe he is the one that needs some counsel ling, or both of you together. Financial lies and problems are one of the greatest causes of dissension- next to cheating- in a marriage.
Best of luck to you!
2007-10-20 23:44:35 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you are calm down,think why you fight.Try to avoid and stop fighting.You can solve,and fix all problems,if you are not angry or fighting.If you know, that he has problems with money;that is what you need to solve without fighting.Good luck.Communication is the key in all relationships.
2007-10-20 23:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Trust you gut instinct. Get your mind straight before he f**k you over with mind games. Trust I have been there and now I play mind games with him and don't say a word. Stop arguing with him over this matter...you will not get anywhere. Get a job and take care of you. Plus, figure out who you really are without your husband interferring.
2007-10-20 23:38:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Sounds like my wife and I.
We are learning how to communicate/ talk with out her shuting down and me becoming angry because she shut down.
2007-10-21 02:59:45 · answer #6 · answered by ~Senor Suave~ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound exactly as I did when, I was in an abusive relationship.
2007-10-20 23:41:16 · answer #7 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yep it happens
2007-10-20 23:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋