i have never used this before, but i found out last night that my daughter does. she posted a question in multiple category's titled "My dad is 29, and i am almost 15. why wont he date? he got my mum pregnant at a party. help me out. any info.?
" you may have seen it, or answerd it. does it make me a bad parent?
2007-10-20 16:21:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
no, i think she wants you to date for YOU. maybe she feels she's holding you back from being happy, but i don't think that makes you a bad father. as long as your around for her & provide for her. just talk to her about why you don't date, and ask her why she wants you to date, maybe it will clear a few things up....for both of you.
2007-10-20 16:25:47 · answer #1 · answered by leighshinoda 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I didn't see it but no you're not a bad father.
But she might want breathing room if you're overprotective. Single dads tend to hover more & teens hate that.
If you're divorced there's even the possibility her mother has been saying things to make you look bad & she's confused. My mom was always saying things bad about my dad, that I never saw. But a part of me felt I had to side with mom. So I said & did alot of things I didn't mean out of confusion & feeling torn.
There's even the possibility she feels responsible for you being alone. The statement made suggests that she thinks you were a real lady killer since you got her mom pregnant. Thus the only thing she can reason is you're not now because of her, which makes her feel guilty.
But I'd guess you're being overprotective. You found out she was coming to YA & wanted to know what she was saying. Considering YA isn't a chatroom it's a little like reading her diary. A definite no, no unless she gives you reason to suspect she's doing something that could harm or endanger like drugs, etc.
You're a good father because you're given her roots but at 15 it's time to trust her a little more & believe all that you've taught her has borne fruit so she can grow & test her wings. Your job is more now to be there for her & catch her when & if she falls.
She still needs you to love & care about her. But she also needs to know you trust her to make smart choices. By continually monitoring her life she feels the need to pull away. If you're not careful she won't come to you when she does need help for fear you'll overreact.
So I'm pretty sure she's thinking in terms of if you have someone to date you'll have less time to watch over her. But it's a typical teen's response to try & break free. If she didn't at that age I'd be more concerned. In no way does it reflect on how good of a father you are.
Being a teen girl once I was always torn between wanting to live my life & wanting to be daddy's little girl. I wanted him there when I was upset or needed help but I hated it when he got too involved. Never once did I think he was a bad father.
2007-10-20 17:07:54 · answer #2 · answered by syllylou77 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I saw that question, and answered.. and she gave me the best answer.
I dont think you are a bad parent.. you were a young dad, and stuck with her! You raised her by yourself. Most young men run when they find out they are a dad! You deserve a pat on the back!
Actually, I think you did a great job... she has learned to think of others, and not herself. Most teens are opposed at the idea of their single parents dating... she just wants you to be happy. She seemed worried that she "ruined your life" because you became a father at such a young age.. you gave up alot for her. This is a good thing.. so many teens only think of themselves.
Maybe its time for a heart to heart and let her know that she's the best thing in your life, and if you could go back in time.. you wouldnt change a thing that's happened.
2007-10-20 19:43:14 · answer #3 · answered by Nekkid Truth! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was about 15 when i found out my parents were pregnant before they were married. it was a huge deal for me because i realized my parents were not perfect. i had to face the reality of having values and morals instilled in me by parents who, in my eyes at the time, did not seem to practice what they preached. your daughter is 15... she will be a bit dramatic sometimes. i think what she is trying to say in her question is that since you and her mother were young when you dated and had children, you never got to experience dating, etc. she is not saying you are a bad parent becasue of the pregnancy at an early age! try not to overanalyze, and try talking to her about it. answer her questions. it will be great father / daughter time, and might open some new doors for the two of you. Good Luck!
2007-10-20 16:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by jleigh120 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it makes you a bad parent i think she just wants you to be happy...you were very young when you got her mom pregnant and you didn't much of the teen years i think that is what she is trying to do just make you happy
since your daughter is looking for answers maybe you should sit her down and have a good long talk w/ her about your friends that is what she is crying out for!
but im also glad your a good parents and watch what your child does on line two gold stars for that
2007-10-21 04:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made an impulsive decision 15 years ago, but you have managed to stay in your daughter's life. Hopefully your influence has been positive. Teens can be exasperating. Have patience, read books or seek advice on coping with them, and lead by good example.
I think you are trying to be a good parent.
2007-10-20 23:26:08 · answer #6 · answered by greydoc6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how ever your daughter was conceived shouldnt be the issue. Does she just want to know why you wont date anyone? if thats the case, i wouldnt say you are a bad father. As long as you are there for her and support her, then there shouldnt be anything to worry about. Have you tried talking to her and asking her what her thoughts on things are.
2007-10-20 16:28:05 · answer #7 · answered by louie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it makes you a bad parent. Your daughter is a teenager and all teenagers tend to feel that their parents do not understand what they are going through. She probably wants for you to go out there and date and maybe even settle down. You are still young, and maybe she feels that you need to go out there and experience life.
2007-10-20 16:32:32 · answer #8 · answered by kat_kris2001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! of course not this does not make you a bad parent and don't let anyone, even your daughter tell you otherwise. but i would suggest that your daughter grow up.. especailly now going throgh highschool with some sort of female figure around. perhaps a grandmother, aunt, or if you choose to date a step-mom...sort of figure.
2007-10-20 16:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE NOT A BAD FATHER! just read you daughters question thingy. she just wants you to be happy and feels guilty as she feels that you not dating because of her.
just get out there as she feels you are a good guy who is good looking for you age.
she feels close to you so why not date... she just wants you to be happy.
2007-10-20 17:38:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋