Her baby is about 10 days old.
I know that she's strong and able, but sometimes she's a little doubtful about her ability to care for and raise her son on her own.
She had tears in her eyes on the second day at home, but on the third day, she seemed to be getting better.
Right now, she gets help from me and some relatives, but these people are leaving soon and she seems to worry that she'll end up doing something 'wrong' to her baby without these people around.
How do I encourage her and keep her spirit up?
2007-10-20 16:20:44 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Her Love should keep her strong. If she falters you need to remind her that the baby is ALL that she has and I KNOW she will come forward!! More so, the BABY is all that she has!!!!! Love will ALWAYS"s prevail!!!! If there are any personal questions you have on care I would definitely consider myself an expert...lol....2 kids and I have been babysitting since I was 10...and cooking upside down turkey's ...lol.. Please if you or her need any help I am SOOO there!! Please e-mail me!! I have allot of knowledge!!!
Dahrma
2007-10-20 16:30:02 · answer #1 · answered by dahrma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her. Let her know that worrying about doing something wrong is one of the best signs of a good parent!
And her hormones are swinging right now- crying fits, exhaustion, thinking she is a terrible mother especially if the baby cries alot are all normal.
Remind her that is baby has never had a mom before, either.And is more resilient than he looks.
Hook her up to one of the online mom sites- Cafemom or momsonline are 2 that I have visited. Heck, give her my email if she needs another mom to vent to! dizzkat@yahoo.com.
She will get used to being on her own with the baby as they learn about each other. Hang in there for her but don't make her dependent on you. It may sound harsh, but she has got to gain the confidence that she can go it alone. It ain't easy, but is well worth the effort.
I was lucky and didn't start out alone, but got divorced when my youngest was 2.
2007-10-20 23:32:43 · answer #2 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a sweetheart of a friend to care so much about this new mother.
All new mothers go through times of not being sure of what they are doing. My X was never around to help me with the babies.
Give her praise. Give her some free time. Like if she needs to shower you can watch the baby.
Because of just giving birth her hormones will be unsteady.
It is possible to have post birth depression. From what you say it seems that your friend is doing well.
If she could find a parenting group for single mom's that would be helpful. Or a church group for new mothers.
She is going to be a good mom. None of us are given instructions .
Encourage her to get out to walk or just be outside and with other people.
2007-10-21 01:10:40 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to her. Let her vent and yell and scream.
Get her motivated to join a play group. Get her motivated to ask someone to babysit for a few hours a week so she can have some sanity.
It's hard being a single mom, and now is the time when she's going through the baby blues. It's tough! She always needs to remember that no one, not even the seasoned parent, makes NO mistakes. Everyone makes some with a new baby. You live and learn. :-)
And you need to keep her up on the tabs for PPD--that's more serious. If she develops PPD, then she does need to see her doctor and get some help.
2007-10-20 23:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would just offer as much help to her as you can--offer to babysit, cook, help clean, whatever--and remind her how lovely her child is.
If you're able to, I'm sure she would appreciate occasional gifts for the baby, like outfits or toys. I don't know how close you are to her. Also, some people highly appreciate getting mail, because it's a personal gesture that requires a little effort. Send her a card if you don't talk to her often, just to remind her that you're thinking of her and wishing her the best.
And the most important thing you can do is to make sure that she is being the best mom she can be, and suggesting she receive help if it's appropriate. Lots of moms suffer from post-partum depression, and if she doesn't have a partner around it may be hard for others to see it.
2007-10-21 01:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by Liberty, Equality, Fraternity 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention her age. That might make a difference. Remind her that she is NEVER alone--almost every other woman she knows or meets has had children. She need only turn to a friend, especially and older woman, a neighbor, her pediatrician, and the library or bookstore are filled with answers to every imaginable child rearing question. I assume this is her first, in which case I can understand her misgivings about her capabilities. Remind her also that her maternal love creates a huge, unbreakable bond between her baby and herself and that will go a long way. I raised my first son on my own for his first 12 years, and then semi-alone when I married. I'd never handled a baby before, but much ability comes through instinct. I referred back to how I was raised by my parents, adopted their best efforts, rejected their worst, and then looked at other parenting experiences around me, taking the best from them also. I made mistakes, learned from them, and moved on. It is a huge responsibility to provide food and shelter AND endless patience and love for a vulnerable, trusting child . Encourage her to ENJOY her baby with all her heart; he is a special gift entrusted to her. If she will look deep into her baby's eyes, she will find everything she needs to know, about him and about herself. I am Sirius
2007-10-20 23:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by i am Sirius 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep encouraging her and watch for signs of post partum depression. Offer to do thigns like cook, clean, get groceries etc, but dont be too big of a crutch bc this is the long haul and she needs to do things herself.
Make sure that if she needs it, she's hooked up with WIC, food stamps, or any other government help she can get.
Best of luck.
Also, depending on her age, she may be able to get the baby in early head start if she is in school. For more info go to www.nsha.org
2007-10-20 23:55:27 · answer #7 · answered by Glutenfreegirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her the assurance that she can call you when she feels overwhelmed.
Lots of times, people can get through just fine knowing they can turn to someone if they need to, whether they actually do or not.
Also, keep in mind, this poor gal is dead tired. She is postpartum and her hormones are raging and she is exhausted. It's very natural for her to have these feelings. And she will for the rest of her life as a mother.
I cried even when I had the help around me and always between the hours of 5:00 and 7:00 p.m. for a week.
2007-10-20 23:27:04 · answer #8 · answered by dancingirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first couple weeks after you have a baby, you will have tears in your eyes for no reason, or for every reason in the book. Its a major change in hormones. You can also help her by just bringing her dinner one night. Sitting with the baby while she takes a shower, or bath. You will never know how precious a few minutes alone, getting freshened up is. After a few weeks, of having non stop baby, throwing up, diapers, and no sleep....she will appreciate it. Words of encouragement, and telling her how proud you are of her, could make a difference too. Kudos to you too, for wanting to to know just how to make someone feel better. I wish I could show her this myself. That would let her know right there, that you care!
2007-10-20 23:27:00 · answer #9 · answered by evanlah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me it sounds like she may be trying to tell you guys something. Post Partum can broadside us, it is very important that you talk to her about this and make sure that is not what she is feeling.
Some women get over it and some women need a little bit more of a nudge. Is she living by herself? It is very nerve wracking to be all alone with your baby and to realize that it is you and you only that they have to depend on.
Good Luck.
The other thing, if you can babysit for a day or to so she can have time to herself to either clean up the house or go and get her nails done, etc. That would help out tremendously.
2007-10-20 23:26:22 · answer #10 · answered by Blue74girl 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if there is a Yahoo Group for this? Does she have a computer? My daughter will be in the same situation in a few weeks. The father has vanished with no care at all. What a bunch of horrid men, it makes my heart faint with pain.
See if she can find a support group with other young women like her. I know there are many others out there. If she doesn't have a computer and can't find it that way, have her check with her local hospital or woman abuse center for referrals to meet with other mother's in her situation. It will be invaluable to her.
2007-10-20 23:26:28 · answer #11 · answered by moondrop000 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋