Why is it so hard to remain optimistic?

Question

I really don't want to give into my self-pity, but today it just seems to be too hard to fight. I don't want hate myself. I don't want to cry either just because I feel sorry for myself. I just want to feel something positive. How did you keep it constantly flowing...the optimism or positivity?

That doesn't help me now.

Answer 1

It's hard to keep a "happy face" on at times, but when I get down, I like to make lists of what makes me happy or what i'm thankful for.
I also like to do things to distract me from the negative or even real things at times(watch movies, listen to music, yahoo hansweres, ect..).
Also, if you feel really down like you want to cry, watch a sad movie or do something to "purge" that sad feeling. I've heard that crying helps to release endorphins which are chemicals that make you happy.

You can also smile when you see someone and think to yourself "Somehting good is going to happen," it helps to look for good things and not bad ones.

Hope this helps and feel better!

Answer 2

To the question:
"How did you keep it constantly flowing...the optimism or positivity?"
I would say that being positive and optimistic 24/7 is neither normal or healthy. That crying releases chemicals in the brain that are beneficial and it is not wrong to cry. Your emotions are trying to tell you something and you need to pay attention. Trying to suppress them is the worst thing you could do to your self. Wallowing in self pity is not good either. You could try writing down how you feel-what might be causing your distress-why might you hate your self? This may give clarity for what you need to do to feel better.

Answer 3

Optimism is a practice. It's a choice. It's about exercising neural pathways that aren't used to being used. Many things can be habits, such as pessimism. I don't think you should lie to yourself and try to tell yourself that you aren't feeling sad. I just mean that you can try to see it for what it is. Or maybe just trying to see it from different angles. I have a lot of experience with this. I had counseling off and on, anti-depressants off and on, etc. I found that what helped me was a metaphysics class i took. I started understanding just how powerful thoughts are and that sometimes we try to own thoughts that it might be better if we didn't. I still get frustrated, sad, angry, etc., but i try to not give them more power than they already have. I try to see that it's a habitual brain pathway and that in ways i might not even see (but becomes clearer over time) my perception might be off. This is why the same statement can be said to 10 different people and get 10 different reactions. We all come from different backgrounds and over time have learned to associate certain things in a negative way, whether or not it was negative. For statements that all or most people would see as offensive, such as "I hate you," realize that the statement only has power if you give it power. The more you want the person to like you, the more the statement will hurt. The more your feelings depend on what others feel, the more sway they have. Meditation can be very centering and help you have a sense of connectedness with everything. Feeling connected helps us be more compassionate with ourselves and others.
I hope this makes some sense. It's helped me a lot, but i also have a long way to go.
Other things that help, journaling, creative things. I love music, but sometimes i get so frustrated because i want to be better. I find that with art, i feel more neutral and have no expectations. That helps me open up and feel more free and expressive.

Answer 4

By being honest with yourself and knowing that you can't have a "constant flow". You just can't.

But, one way you can avoid the feelings of frustrations and irritation is to pick your battles.

You sound weary from war. Ask yourself, what are you fighting for? Is it something you can put on hold for a while and give your body and soul a little peace?

Or is it a worthy cause that you must endure the rough times to get to the good stuff.

It's okay to have a little self pity, you know. You can feel bad now and then, give yourself permission. But, just vow that the next day you're going to try something different and see what result you get.

As long as you're not wallowing in the depths of your despair, you can feel bad for yourself now and then.

Answer 5

Get your brain in gear! Read funny stuff, better yet study something new, it keeps your brain occupied rather than self-pity. With trial and exercises you'll get balanced. It may be a matter of hormones... or a bad habit of being " poor me "" .You need to cry and laught! Unless you're depressed, you should check with your doctor!

Answer 6

There used to be a web site for Daily Affirmations. I would look into the site. I also had a book of daily affirmations based on Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. I surrounded myself with daily affirmations at work and for fun I included some from Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live.

I'm good enough.
I'm smart enough.
And dog-gone-it, people like me!

[Also]

Stop stinkin' thinkin'.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Go to www.joecartoon.com I guaruntee (is that how you spell that? Oh well screw it then I'll just keep typing) that whatever feelings of sadness or depression will be vomited from your system with maniacal laughter. That or go to google.com and search for Cyanide and Happiness, it's an internet cartoon that is sensational.
If you are pessimistic often, then its probobly me. Sorry.

Answer 8

Tomorrow is a new day, something to look forward to.

And I don't know anyone who is constantly positive. But I think its part of the ebb and flow of life. When things are bad, they tend to get better.

Answer 9

You might want to get some help to determine if you have depression. Sometimes it is brought on by something in your diet, or it might occur if you have not been dealing with stress well. Some people have chronic depression and that has to be taken care of with the help of medication.

Answer 10

Because so many bad things happen in life.

IMO, it's better to be realistic than too pessimistic or too optimistic. It sounds like you're stressed out.. Take a warm bath or drink some tea. Do something that relaxes you and will make you feel better.