I've heard mixed opinions. I'm really not in this position myself but I was thinking of talking to my boyfriend about moving in together we're not getting engaged anytime soon though but I'm just not sure if it would be a bad idea... or a good idea so we would get to know each other better...
2007-10-20 14:38:22 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Living together before marriage. This way you will see how compatiable you are with each other. And there won't be any surprises when you start living together after the wedding. Any relationship will go stale if you don't add spice, keep things going, stop being romantic, stop doing the little things, and start living comfortably. You should always have the mentality - treat them like you were first going out. It doesn't matter if you have been living together or not, if you don't keep your relationship alive, then it will dwindle. Keep the passion, the love, the excitment, the joy going.
And I totally disagree with what yahoo has said. Stop living in the dark ages. This is 2007. And if you worry that much about the man that you are living with, then he isn't the one for you.
2007-10-20 14:50:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I could do it all again I would not live with my boyfriend first. We've been together for almost 7 years and we have bought two homes, we have one child( he is 4) and we only talk about marriage(not engaged). I cook, clean, make love sometimes when I'm really not in the mood, I know all his family and friends. Time and money is invested and we do love each other but he has made several comments like " If it's not broke don't fix it" or "Everything is fine the way it is". He has everything a husband could ask for but I'm not a wife. I sometimes hate to cook or do things because I know he is getting all of the benefits without the real commitment.
Before we lived together we went out often and now I ask him to take me out, he ends up going out with his friends instead. Like the old saying says "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free" It's true, I say don't do it. Let him want you and miss you and you probably will get married sooner. Learn from my experience. ^^
2007-10-20 21:57:41 · answer #2 · answered by MZCOLE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's view do you want? The view of the people who have moral's or the view of people who have no or few moral's.
If you have moral's and self respect than no don't live together first. You get to know someone in the process of dating. You get to know and understand the outlook that they have on your values this way also.
If you are the other side of the fence, then move in and have all the parties and sex and all of the other things that lots of people do today.
Just remember the old saying, "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free".
That saying basically means why get married if you can get all of the benefits and pleasures without a ring.
It is becoming more appearent to people that live in the thought of anything goes, that things are getting worse.
Look at all the enwed mothers, that end up alone when the guy gets tired of hanging around. He wants to do things like have a 3 some, and you don't so he cheats and gets someone else that will, then he leaves you.
This is due to a lack of respect for you and for himself, but you are the one who is holding a child with no father around. It really is a bad idea. I could go on for hours with this topic, but this isn't really the place, and I would love to show you all of the relavent sites and research, but again this really isn't the place.
2007-10-20 21:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter (27) an her soon to be husband have been together over five years. We are now just getting their first home ready to live in together. The wedding is in April. I am glad they had that time to grow up separately without breathing down each others neck. Both had own places not like they lived with mama. They are so ready for this and have even painted one or the bedrooms pale green for a nursery. This was the way to go for them. Everyone has different values and opinions. You will not get to know someone better by living with them. The important things to learn about each other will be taught weather or not you live with each other. Good luck. Do what is good for your relationship.
2007-10-20 21:54:35 · answer #4 · answered by Shelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Difficult!!" 1; In 95% of cases it's a really bad Idea, Like stated; "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free!"
2; Believe or not "Moving in Together" more or less is "Engauged!"
3; How strong are your feeling for each other? What happens, will he do, when you two have a babby? and you will 98%!
3; Moving in Together isn't really that good an idea.
Good Luck!
2007-10-20 21:56:39 · answer #5 · answered by sidecar0 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my fiancee are gonna live together before we get married. I think it's a great idea. Do you really need the stress of moving on top of the stress of the wedding day? Move in together first so you know if you can stand living with the other person or not.
2007-10-20 23:25:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many have done this and it has worked out and in some cases it has not worked out. The only thing is after a period of time men tend to get comfortable and women want it official. If you do decide to do it don't forget about the wedding and become complacent. Remember this: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" All the best to you.
2007-10-20 22:35:22 · answer #7 · answered by Titus12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is a very good idea. My mother thinks I'm crazy but i feel like its kind of like test driving married life. when you ain't married its so much easier to walk away out of a situation that isn't working. lets say you get along great as boyfriend and girlfriend but who is to say that it will stay the same after your married and living together. Sometimes the person you think is your soulmate might not be. So i think thats a goog idea. Think if you get married and move in together and realize it aint working there is so much that you will have to go through if you chose to seperate. As opposed to if you just live together.
2007-10-20 21:45:25 · answer #8 · answered by nilla2124 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I moved in with my hunny before we got married and I think it really helped our relationship. We thought we knew everything about each other till we moved in together. Everyone has their own way of doing things. Like my husband likes to brush his teeth in the shower and it drives me nuts. But at the end of the day everyone has their own weird habits. So it helped us be real with each other so I think its a good idea plus if your boyfriend does anything really creeps you out you have the chance to run away before there's a ring on your finger! LoL!
2007-10-20 21:50:06 · answer #9 · answered by Manda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a million times better to live together first. Don't know how people moved in together after they got married in the past.
2007-10-20 22:06:05 · answer #10 · answered by squezzez 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋