What do I do when my 11 year old girl takes her clothes off for a high-schooler?
2007-10-20 13:07:00 · 39 answers · asked by Karie G 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I think that you should give her the talk and tell her not to be used. Why is she with a high-schooler anyway? Anyway, it's best to talk to her now so she can get the message early in life and not be abused or mistreated later. I would also not ground her or anything because that might make her mad and then she might do it again just to make you mad. It's like revenge but kid style. She doesn't know that she's hurting herself and no one else. Good Luck.
2007-10-20 15:54:12 · answer #1 · answered by DCD4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my! What is wrong with girls these days! Slap some sense into that girl! My question is why a high schooler would want to look at an 11 yr old? She probably hasn't even gone through puberty yet! She's 11, and MAY not know any better, but those high schoolers are in the wrong. Why didn't you stop them? Tell someone and get these ppl in trouble.
2007-10-20 13:11:34 · answer #2 · answered by BlackDahlia 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
It's important to know that physical punishment will only make her lash out.
My suggestion is to talk to her, and let her know what happens to girls who get started on the wrong path sexually.
Show her a website of women that have been raped,killed, and abused by men. This may seem extreme, but that's how I learned. Tell her about STD's and online sexual predators.
Sit her down and tackle the whole thing. it will be emotional, and hard, but if she's ever going to learn, you have to tell her and show her the horror stories that she could wind up being in the main character in...
Good luck to you and best wishes for your daughter..
I realize she's curious.. and being curious is normal. But you need to find out if this high schooler convinced her and she didn't want to, or if she was willing and ready.
Each circumstance has to be handled differently, but if she was forced/convinced, then get her to a therapist because that will scar her for life.
-Kay
2007-10-20 13:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
some serious discipline. seek child counseling. She may have some attention issues. Is her dad around? Sometimes not having the male influence can cause a girl to look for male attention elsewhere. Can you find out who the boys parents are? he's headed for trouble soliciting little girls to do things like that. Serious supervision, too- and 11 year old girl shouldnt be given much of a chnace to be alone with a boy of that age.
counseling should help get to the bottom of it- trust me- it makes a world of difference when a 3rd party that isnt mom or dad- or some other know it all she wont listen to is there for her.... thats what she's looking for in other people in all the wrong ways....
good luck, and take care.
2007-10-20 13:11:53 · answer #4 · answered by **leigh** 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything. It's none of your business. (What's so bad about nudity anyway‽) I'm seeing loads of bull**** from Puritan, condescending, paternalistic, ageist bigots like "Bad girl!", "NASTY!", and "Hit her 'till she bleeds!" No, she isn't bad, it isn't nasty, and you'd better not hit her if you know what's good for both of you. She isn't hurting anyone, not even herself. She's probably started puberty (yeah, puberty can start as early as 8 for females, and usually occurs around 1 or 2 years earlier than with males), and is just experimenting and getting to know her sexual side (yes, "children" have those! Puberty is the beginning of biological adulthood, yet you refuse to recognize it as real. She is not a "child"!) Not all youth sexuality is "abuse". If it was consensual, there's no problem; neither of them did anything wrong. Just tell her the facts (but not in a harsh, shock value kind of way) so she can make an informed decision (she'll experiment anyway, so make sure she knows how to do it safely!). Saying "I'll tell you when you're older will leave her to experiment without knowing how to do so safely. Physical violence will probably cause her to hate you, rebel earlier (young people don't actually "appreciate" punishment when they're older; they either live the rest of their life with bottled up trauma and resentment, choose to believe it was "for their own good" to avoid the afore mentioned trauma an resentment, or become brainwashed into thinking it was a good thing. All of these can lead to them abusing THEIR children, and that's what it is, abuse), and teach her that problems get solved by hitting people. Don't get her a counselor, because they turn something that the person sees as no big deal into a traumatized "victim" because they keep shoving it down their throats "OMG! UR A VYKTUM! DAT WUZ HORRIBAL! U WIL BEE SCARRD 4 DA REST OV UR LIVE!!!1!!nInE". Even if she started it, she will end up feeling like a victim, and he will end up feeling guilty.
Overall, just make sure she has enough knowledge to make an informed decision, but don't try to force your veiwpoint on her. And, for God's sake, teach her self defense! As a parent, you should be preparing her for life in the real world! Teach her all about sex, condoms, GBTL, BDSM, EVERYTHING! She won't be your little nest egg forever! Treat her like a PERSON, not PROPERTY!
2007-10-20 14:13:10 · answer #5 · answered by Unsubscriber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is she doing around high-schoolers?! She's only a child! Go and sit her down and talk to her. You should just supervise your child a lot more closer now, that you know the baddest thing could happen to your child wouldn't be this!
2007-10-21 05:04:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Originally Posted by Original Poster
"What do I do when my 11 year old girl takes her clothes off for a high-schooler?"
Don't be a dumbass about it. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Don't act like an *** with the proverbial parental power trip. That doesn't solve anything.
Quote:
"oh my! What is wrong with girls these days! Slap some sense into that girl! My question is why a high schooler would want to look at an 11 yr old? She probably hasn't even gone through puberty yet! She's 11, and MAY not know any better, but those high schoolers are in the wrong. Why didn't you stop them? Tell someone and get these ppl in trouble."
Oh, yes. Because beating people always solves something. It is my humblest wish that she gets ran over by a truck. As for telling about the high schooler in question. Talk to him too. Sending him through a FUBAR system that would probably require him to register as a sex offender of some sort would be stupid and would only lead to trauma. Pounding it into your daughter's head that "ZOMG! YOUR A VICTIM, VICTIM VICTIM!!!!!!! VIIIIIIIICTOOOOOOMMMMM!!!" will probably lead to lots and lots of problems later on in life too.
Quote:
"It's important to know that physical punishment will only make her lash out.
My suggestion is to talk to her, and let her know what happens to girls who get started on the wrong path sexually.
Show her a website of women that have been raped,killed, and abused by men. This may seem extreme, but that's how I learned. Tell her about STD's and online sexual predators.
Sit her down and tackle the whole thing. it will be emotional, and hard, but if she's ever going to learn, you have to tell her and show her the horror stories that she could wind up being in the main character in...
Good luck to you and best wishes for your daughter..
I realize she's curious.. and being curious is normal. But you need to find out if this high schooler convinced her and she didn't want to, or if she was willing and ready.
Each circumstance has to be handled differently, but if she was forced/convinced, then get her to a therapist because that will scar her for life.
-Kay"
Well, a good deal more intelligent. However, coming from her post I'm sensing some "ZOMG, MENS ARE T3H EVAL!." Being free with your sexuality doesn't mean that you're going to end up dead in a dumpster somewhere. Promiscuous people aren't bad people. They just have a different set of beliefs. Which doesn't consist of the monogamy that you've had drummed into your head since you were small and that you've never questioned.
Quote:
"there are kids who need to be hit
shes one of them
u need to spank her goood"
Oh, physical violence in the face of something that needs to actually be addressed. Congratulations fuckwit, may you someday get horribly burned and disfigured by the most potent acid imaginable.
Quote:
"ground her and take away her cell phone if she has one you got to let her know who's Boss and its not her so............... You have to talk to her or something:
Swing....and a miss. Oh, yeah. Taking a situation that needs actual, you know figuring out, addressing, and instead simply trying to exercise a blatant display of rather misguided parental authority while not addressing the root problem. Or for that matter, even thinking about or trying to figure out the root problem.
Quote:
"some serious discipline. seek child counseling. She may have some attention issues. Is her dad around? Sometimes not having the male influence can cause a girl to look for male attention elsewhere. Can you find out who the boys parents are? he's headed for trouble soliciting little girls to do things like that. Serious supervision, too- and 11 year old girl shouldnt be given much of a chnace to be alone with a boy of that age.
counseling should help get to the bottom of it- trust me- it makes a world of difference when a 3rd party that isnt mom or dad- or some other know it all she wont listen to is there for her.... thats what she's looking for in other people in all the wrong ways....
good luck, and take care."
Aghhh. It's the idiot who tries to play the psych while screaming COUNSELING, COUNSELING. Honestly, I've seen some tough people who would've otherwise brushed off **** that's happened to them come out of counseling with their emotional defenses completely stripped and their self-esteem totaled due to the constant, "You are a victim. Something horrible happened to you. You'll live with the scars for the rest of your life. You'll never be the same." Counseling helps sometimes, but sometimes it just ***** things up all that much more. As for the boy, counseling for him will probably just make his life a living hell.
Quote:
"Ask her if you can join in."
I lol'd.
2007-10-20 15:42:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two things. First, increase her self esteem. If she thought more about herself, she would not be seeking the attention of others.
Second, help her to understand that her body is special and that she is responsible for its care and maintanence. Remind her that when she was a baby that you cared for and maintained her body and you brought her to a point where she can now care for herself and that you would be very sad and disappointed if she did something stupid like allowing someone else to abuse her body or get her pregnant.
2007-10-20 17:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by Eric W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about it.. but whatever you do DON'T YELL AT HER, this might cause her to rebel and start doing more than just taking her clothes off. you should ask her some questions such as these...
Do you like to strip for these men or do they force you to do so?
Do these guys touch you in anyway?
How often do you do this?
these are critical questions to help you understand if this is dangerous to your daughter. keep your daughter safe and healthy
godbless<3
2007-10-21 02:53:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is she doing at 11 being around a teenager in high school!? You need to sit her down and make her understand that is something that is going to get her into trouble. Someone could hurt her if they take it the wrong way.
2007-10-20 13:10:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 1⤋