I am married.. my husband works 14 hours a day and so I havnt worked to stay home with our daughter and support him and his job.. He has decided that he doesnt want to be a family anymore and here I have a child and am not working.. I have no clue what to do.. He wants to divorce and says that he is seeing someone tomorrow. I dont have enough money to pay for a lawyer and my family is staying 90 minutes away and there are no empty bedrooms for us to stay.. They have low income housing in that town but I dont know who I need to talk to or what to do.. Help!
2007-10-20 11:41:10 · 14 answers · asked by tiffany b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the child is ours
2007-10-20 11:41:56 · update #1
Just wanted to add some details. I appreciate all the advice.. I have recently found out his told his mother that I knew about his bad past and I didnt.. I am just now finding out he has stolen ppl's creditcards and got kicked out of the army for it, hes been to jail 3 times for stuff like that, drugs, u name it.. I had no idea I just thought he was a typical wild child and this is why his parents didnt talk to him... How can someone just up and leave there 2 yr old? we have been together 4 yrs andmarried 18 months.. he just decides hes "unhappy and not in love".I spoke to a lawyer for a sec and he said i'd get no alimony bc it was just 18 mo.I think its another woman but I dont know where he would have the time to..He is prob back to his old ways..This is just so scary and pisses me off.I feel I have been married to a con artist. he can look you right in the face and lie like a dog I live in Ky btw but my family is 90 min away.He makes 53k/yr he should help me!hes gettin his stf 2nit
2007-10-20 12:30:24 · update #2
Talk to an attorney anyway he might have to pay for it, plus he has to pay you some support for you and the child. Do it today so you have some income.
2007-10-20 11:45:46 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really, really need to get a lawyer, and do it now. Here are some possible ways to find one when you are low income:
1. Find a volunteer lawyer. Most areas have volunteer lawyer organizations or Legal Aid associations.
2. If there is a law school in your area, check to see if they have a law clinic or similar program that allows law students (under supervision of a licensed attorney) to work on behalf of low income clients.
3. If you live in the United States, LawHelp can help you find information websites run by a nonprofit legal services provider in your state.
He can't just kick you and your child out. Don't feel that you have to move. He initiated the divorce, so he should be the one to move out, not you.
A lawyer will be the very best one to advise you on what you need to do. You'll feel a lot better when you have someone knowledgeable looking out for your interests.
2007-10-20 11:49:36 · answer #2 · answered by G.V. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all put your foot down and tell him that's fine if he wants a divorce but you're not going to sign any papers until you find out about child support and alimony. You are entitled to both. I would look online for the laws in your state regarding divorce and entitlements as far as divorce goes. Don't sell yourself short. If he finds out that you have a back bone and will fight for what's yours he may try to be nice so that you'll just sign the papers and he can move on with everything. Best of luck. You need to know your rights. Low income housing just because you're getting a divorce isn't your only option. The department of human services or a similar agency will be able to help you if you have to go that route.
2007-10-20 11:48:19 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is terrible, and I am sorry to hear of this tragedy.
Your husband is being very selfish in regards to your child. I think you should try to find out exactly why he is leaving, and see if things can be patched up. See a marriage counselor if he is willing to fix things. Your daughters welfare is what is most important here.
I hate to tell you this, but if he isn't willing, you must find a family member to allow you and your daughter to stay with them. Then get a job and work towards a life on your own. Don't let the government system become your provider. When people go down that road, the government makes it harder to become successful in life. They trap you into poverty. Use that only as a last resort.
2007-10-20 11:56:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the place that offers the low income housing in your area. They will tell you what you need to do to apply. Find a good, reputable daycare for your daughter--be sure to call the state department and check for any complaints/investigations against the facility--it's public record. State governments offer child care assistance to pay for daycare until you are able to and then they will still pay a portion. Find a job ASAP. It doesn't matter what it is or where it is...just go to work and begin your new life. Go to court and file child support for your daughter--use it for her needs.
It's a hard thing to do but don't let him think that you depend on him. Being a single mother can be overwhelming but you can do it!!
2007-10-20 11:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by Tina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I went through the same thing when my husband left. Apply for public assistance asap and look into the low income housing. Then contact a lawyer about child support. And start looking for employment. You can get through all this.
2007-10-20 16:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by mommyof5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state your in but most states have legal aid and help for single mothers.You will have to get a lwayer and your husband will have to pay support.The low income housing will move you to the top of the list because you will be basicly homeless also most churches will help with food and rent.You husband will find out it cost alot of money to be single.He probably has a girlfriend he is running to.I'm sorry for you and your child.I have been alone for 4 years and some of us guys would give anything to have what your husband is throwing away.Good luck.
2007-10-20 11:51:58 · answer #7 · answered by notagain49 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let him leave and take NOTHING with him. On Monday star calling legal aid or try to find attorneys that offer free consultations. Try to get on government assistance until you can get on your feet. Go Back To School! What ever you do be strong and know that everything will work out , you don't have to rely on the sorry muther*#@*!
Remember there is nothing wrong with getting government assistance just for a while
2007-10-20 12:04:49 · answer #8 · answered by carmey1173 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tiff, I hate to see you in a bind. Yet, you can get some help. Make sure you get a lawyer that will fight for child support and alimony for you. It is possible that he will be made to pay for you and the baby to stay in the house you are in. Make sure you get him for abandonment and possible adultery.
2007-10-20 12:09:58 · answer #9 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do believe he has to help u atleast until after the divorce, so u can secure a job, he has to pay child support. he can't just kick u to the curb and get away with it, go to legal aide, have any as setts frozen. sometimes people portray themselves as someone they are not, and we are always the last to know. he sounds like a coward trying to shirk all responsibilities.
2007-10-20 14:37:53 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋