my poem? 1-10?

Question

im not being religeous its almost the opposite please read it ? what do you think it means?

dear jesus,
all this things you throw at me,
are not things i desire,

all i want to do is cry,
but it seems the well where my tears were once held hostage is now dry,
so i hold on to this never ending cliff,
and wait as the days pass,
for someone to help me up,
wonding if my grip should loosen on that hold,
what would happen if i prayed to you oh lord?
after all these years,
would you still help me up?

Answer 1

...whats that mysterious ticking noise?

....
...
...
Dumbledore!

Opps i sidetracked. I like it. I give it an 8.

Answer 2

Hm. Judging it by most people's standards? 7 or 8.

By a writer's standards, though, it's probably a 5.

Some spelling errors, first of all; it's "wondering", not "wonding".

I know it's supposed to be poetic, but "tears held hostage" makes no sense.

The tone of the poem is good, the atmosphere consistent. Try to make it more meaningful than just angst though.

Keep writing, and keep seeking out constructive criticism! It's the only way to grow as a writer.

Answer 3

I have no issues with the content of your piece. I do however have serious conflicts regarding your form and structure of it.

Your spelling and poor use of it, the grammar and sentence structure is in need of serious work if you wish to be and/or create real poetry. There is no use of capitalization and your punctuation is badly misused.

Here are some meanings for you and others who may read this as to what the definition is:

Poem:
: a composition in verse 2 : something suggesting a poem (as in expressiveness, lyricism, or formal grace)

Poetry:
a: metrical writing : VERSE b: the productions of a poet : POEMS2: writing that formulates a concentrated imaginative awareness of experience in language chosen and arranged to create a specific emotional response through meaning, sound, and rhythm3 a: something likened to poetry especially in beauty of expression b: poetic quality or aspect

What has not been told to you by others is that poetry is an art in written form and therefore the art of writing must be understood and used in its full appreciation.

This piece shows no appreciation for the art or understanding of the written word.
This piece needs some serious work in the basic principles of writing before I would call it "Poetry".

First graders may give to you a thumbs up and high score, but true poets or educated individuals will give nothing.
On a scale from 1 - 10 this written piece gets a D- from me.
(-5)
Sam

Answer 4

I'll give it a 10! Aside from your spelling errors; that's a nice poem. I write poetry myself and I know from experience that not everyone will understand exactly what is I am attempting to express. So continue writing, and eventually, you'll become better at expressing yourself! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

Answer 5

3 - this is not a poem - it is more like a prayer or an outpouring of feelings a poem is more like taking a snapshot but using words.


try doing this

my tears held hostage
wondering if they should loosen their hold
choking me -

if you print this -please list me as co-author

Answer 6

Around the beginning of it, I would've given it a 6, but then as it went on, it all started fitting better, and it made the start look better. So, I'll give it the same as the sushi lover before me. :)

Answer 7

i give it a 8,the rhyming was kinda weird and made it hard to read..but i thought it was great!!

Answer 8

im guessing a 9 1/2 !!!!! good job girl!!

Answer 9

I loved it I give u a 10. GOD BLESS

Answer 10

that sound so nice