I need some advice on my marriage?????please serious answers only?????

Question

My mom just told me the other night while i was laying down with our boys my husband took the phone and made a very secretive call to someone who my mom thinks may be named loretta, and she thinks my husband has been cheating on me.... I dont know what to do, she told me not to say anything to my husband, because she lives with us and he helps me take care of her, she is suffering from dementia and i am wondering if she is imagining it ??? what would u all do would u confront your husband or would u wait to see what happens??? we just came home last weekend from a wonderful marriage retreat and i found new hope for our marriage but now i am sooooooooooo confused please any and all advice will be appreciated, but please i beg of all of u dont get nasty ok??????? just tell me how u would handle this???? thanks bunches and god bless each and everyone who answers.....

Answer 1

Ok, think about this you stated that you and your husband had just returned from a romantic retreat right? maybe your mother did over hear the conversation, but, "to the person who made the reservations for your retreat" so there is nothing wrong with your mother and your husband is not cheating!
That makes more sence would'nt you agree? believe me if your husband was cheating you would not have went on a romantic retreat, sound to me like he really loves you.... so why would he mess that up?

Answer 2

Your mom must not have dementia that bad because if she did you wouldn't give it a second thought what she told you. Sounds like you don't trust your husband as it is so i would take what your mother said very serious until proving other wise. Don't say anything to your husband because he will make sure he doesn't slip up like that again. Here are some signs to look for.
Has he been working later then usual or more meetings and how about going to have a few drinks after work with some guys he works with. Do you get a lot of wrong numbers or hang ups when someone else answers the phone other then your husband. Has he been talking about a certain female at work then all of a sudden he stopped talking about her.
That's just a few out of a list of 20 to check to see if your husband been cheating on you.

Answer 3

If you don't want to confront him get a copy of the phone bill and check the calls made that night. Call any numbers you don't know and see if there is a Loretta. If your mom may not be reliable I wouldn't immediately assume, or go on the attack with this. It says a lot for him that he helps you take care of her. Only you know your marriage and your husband. If you can't wait for the above, I would sit him down and tell him what she said, be non-confrontational and see what he says. She may have just misunderstood who he was calling. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I know that your mother asked you not to say anything.

However, I think that communication is so important in any relationship.

You dont have to tell that your mother heard the phone call, but perhaps you could just confront him one day. While the two of you are alone, maybe one night after your boys are in bed - say something like "I heard something that really upset me. Before I go make a big deal out of it I thought that maybe I should confront you - after all communication is very important in a good relationship- Please dont get upset when I ask but, You're not cheating on me are you?" ....(or something along the lines)..

Hopefully your husband and you will be able to have a good conversation about it, and you If he over reacts and gets upset with you for asking, tell him that you thought asking would be the best way to find out - rather than to jump to any conclusions.

Best of luck!!

Answer 5

If you get the phone records you will be able to tell if he placed any calls and to where but for now, I would wait. Your husband may have been trying to keep quiet so that you could rest and your mother may well have heard wrong so I wouldn't say or do anything about it unless you see reason to think there is something going on. For that matter, assuming that he had an affair with someone called Loretta, he may have even been calling to say forget it, I love my wife and I am staying with her.
Wait and see whether he gives you reason to suspect him or it was all just your mother's bad hearing.

Answer 6

Sweetheart.... you don't have to do a darn thing. If he's cheating he will mess up somewhere down the road. People develop habits that each other get use to when in a relationship and when a person is out cheating on the other they will most often change a habit they have without realizing it and the other will pick up on it. All you need to do is pay attention to the things he does ... nothing else. He will sometimes not be able to explain his actions at times if he's messing around. Your heart and a nagging gut feeling that you'll have on an issue will let you know. Been there ... twice ....and both times I was right on the money. Ask me if I have trust issues when it comes to women now..lol. I'll tell you one thing ... I'm definitely more attentative to everything I'm told and everything I see.

Answer 7

I would confront him. Leave your mother out of it and say you got up to run to the bathroom or get a quick drink and you overheard something and your were curious about it. Best of luck.

However, does your mother imagine a lot of things? You could always wait it out and see what you can find out on your own before confronting him. Are there any signs that your husband may be cheating on you?

Answer 8

Be more watchful. This could be a reality or it could be something that your Mother may have imagined. It will be difficult to tell. Do not judge either of them, you need real proof. Look in his car/truck for signs, look in his wallet, in any of his personal things, even his garage, if he has a cell phone check it for unknown numbers called, or calls he has made.
Good Luck with this. See him as innocent until you have found actual evidence. Remember to pray and ask God for HIS help with this.
May God Surely Bless You

Answer 9

i'd say to get the phone records, but i'd also play it cool with your husband... don't go jumping to such serious conclusions without first getting some evidence... and your mom telling you that he's making secretive calls to loretta is NOT evidence, considering that she has dementia... i say wait it out for a bit and see if he's doing anything suspicious... give him the benefit of the doubt!!

Answer 10

Take thi from the source and dont jumpto any conclusions yet without any real proof. Your own imagination willprobably run away with this but all youll do is start more trouble if wrong. So wait til more telltale signs show upor youll regret it. My mil lives with us and after 2 severe strokes and dimentia,she comes up with some really good whoppers. Trust your own instinct here. Good luck