How do you survive without love where love alone gives meaning to life?

Question

Is it not advisable rather to commit suicide instead given a real-life situation like the one in question?

Answer 1

Hi Anirban.

Love does give meaning to life.

Unfortunately, some of us are born into loveles families, where verbal and possibly physical abuse are what we are raised on. That can make us feel very alone & unloved in this world.

Some people seek solace in empty, loveless relationships. Others, like our answerer, Chrissy, are trying a more positive approach. She is going to therapy which is, as she said, slow; but it does work. She is also turning to God, Who IS love. She, as well as the rest of us, IS loved by God. It can also be slow to come to learn all about His ways; but is is a worthwhile journey.

I, too, know God's love, always have. I am grateful for that. I, too, came from a loveless family, an abusive family. I, too, went to therapy, for many years. It did work. I did not wait for therapy to be finished before I started living. I somehow managed to survive adolescence, barely, but I did it.

I found love by reaching out with MY love for other people. I did volunteer work, in many different areas, at different times. There are many people out there who are lonely, alone & need the love of others.

There are hospitals and nursing homes, full of elderly people who would love our company. We can put a smile on someone else's face which will, in turn, make us feel good.

There are children in public schools who are struggling, who could use our help. The smile on a child's face is a beautiful sight to see.

There are helpless animals in shelters who are in desperate need of care and love.

We can find that by giving love to others, we become filled with love.

Love, alone, DOES give meaning to life. But there is no reason for anyone of us to live a loveless life.

As we mature & ultimately are able to leave our families, we are then free to make new families. We can have a circle of loving friends who end up becoming our family. I don't know what I'd do without my family of close friends whom I love very much.

I was also fortunate enough to find a very loving man who is my husband. I said no to several guys who I knew did not truly love me. I was smart enough not to end up creating a family like the one I had grown up in — I waited for someone who would love me for who I am, not who I am "supposed" to be. Therapy had taught me that I was loveable, regardless of the lies my family had told me.

So, one does not need to live without love. You simply need to learn where it is — it is inside you. You just need to share it with others; and they will share their love with you.

Peace.

Answer 2

First let me say that I'm sorry that this was such a traumatic break up, and I hope you feel some sense of hopefulness soon. Secondly, these things aren't easy to explain. People are all different, with complex personalities and thought processes. Maybe those "crap fights" meant something more to him than just little complications. Maybe they highlighted more grave issues to him. Either way, you can't read his mind just as you can't be positive that he is being 100% honest. There could always be more underlying issues that were never brought up, unfortunately. I believe that he does care about you, but obviously there are some complications that he can't get over right now at this point in his life. Perhaps it's stress, work, school, family, or whatever, but it there could just be too much overwhelming chaos that is preventing patching up a romantic relationship. Thirdly, suicide is NOT the answer. I'm clinically depressed, and I'm telling you this because I know what it's like to grapple with the concept of not living. The truth is, there are other people to live for and love. They might not be the love of your life like this gentleman, but they still care and want what is best for you. I'm sure there are other things you are passionate about in life, and you CAN move on from this awful low point in your life. You just have to be persistent and understand that time will slowly heal all things. On a side note, there could always be the possibility that your ex will want to work things out. There is no sense in giving up! As I mentioned previously, I understand what you are going through, and I pray that you are able to get over this. Good luck!

Answer 3

It depends on what you mean by love.

There are more reasons to live then just romantic love. Passion in all forms is good enough reason to live. Look at Mother Tresa or Gandhi. These were people that had a passion in life for people and weren't in relationships. Imagine if they decided life wasn't worth living if they didn't have love in their life.

Being with someone isn't everything and (this might just be me) it seems alot of people are focusing on relationships and feeling that being alone is the worst thing that can happen. It's far from the truth.

Some of the most creative and inspired people were 'loners' and all our lives are better they existed for their work.

Now-a-days people think being alone is worth then death... learn to be one with yourself and have passions for more things then relationships.

Love alone doesn't give meaning to life. I'm not sure where this was said but I believe it's wrong.

It's passion. Many of the most passionate people have trouble being in relationships cause their drive toward their aim is so powerful that's all they can focus on, not their spouse or significant other.

Life is what you make it and only you can define what it is about. If your entire life is trying not to be lonely then that's a poor situation aswell.

Answer 4

It is a grand assumption, but you make the rule so I'll abide by it. If all meaning (love) were lost in a life as you suggest, then would it be best to commit suicide?

No.

Who is to say that you cannot regain what you have lost? Perhaps you think love is gone, whereas you have merely lost sight of it. If you die, you will never have that chance.

Better to live and have the chance to feel that meaningful love again than to die and never have the chance to know it again.

You are faced with two decisions. One is permanent and absolute in its complete ending of all chances at life experiences. The other choice gives you chances--even if those chances may be small or large, they are still possible--to experience anything, even that love you thought was gone.

Answer 5

If you are talking about surviving without romantic love, it has been done before and will be done again. However, there are many different ways to define "love". Even if I did not have the love of my husband, I would still have the love of my friends and the love of my family.

And there are other ways to love. You can show love by volunteering at a hospice, an animal shelter, a soup kitchen, a daycare center, or another local community organization. Just because you don't have a romantic partner does not mean that you will have to survive without love. There are many, many other ways to create, give and receive love in the world.

Many people are terrified to be without romantic love in their lives. I was one of those people, until I found myself in precisely that situation. I was absolutely terrified for about two weeks. And then I found that I had lots of love and support from my best friends, from my parents, and from my co-workers. Being without romantic love was probably one of the most important parts of my life because it allowed me to discover who I really was and what was really important to me. It allowed me to fully develop as a person and it gave me strength that I didn't realize I had.

So, I would highly advise AGAINST the suicide route and instead, I would look for love in other places. Look for love at your local community organization by volunteering your time and talents and you will find it.

Answer 6

well, first off, who says so? And, even if this premise were held to be true by bunches of people, who says they are right? They used to think the earth was flat too, and that turned out to be wrong. Second, even if it were true that love alone gives meaning, who says life has to have any meaning. Thirdly, who says your whole life has to be filled with love, maybe it's just coming later for some than others, so if you off yourself now, you might miss out on the BIG love of your life who is destined to come to you in say 5, 10 or 50 years from now.

Answer 7

I'll approach this as a philosophy question rather than assuming it is some sort of cry for help. You have assumed that life must have meaning. Life can exist in a vaccum away from meaning. Life can be existence an experience alone.

As to the question of suicide, life is for those who want to live. If you cannot draw meaning from life and that makes your life unbearable, philosophy can provide no answers for you. The inconsolable and desperate lie outside the bindings of logic or discussion.

Answer 8

I can relate to this question, because I am fighting it right now. I don't have alot of human love in my life. I am trying to find love through religion, God. But I don't have enough human love in my life. Many times I have felt like suicide was the answer because why live a life filled with no love? It hurts a great deal. I don't have a loving family and this kind of hurt inside makes it difficult for me to relate to other people. I have to get rid of the hurt. I see a therapist and it helps but it is very slow. I am still in pain after many years.

Answer 9

Love comes from within and therefore no one is without love. Sometimes its harder to do but definitely not impossible. I love you because you are one of god's children. So there you are not without LOVE

Answer 10

A relationship of love gives us worth that we have merely by virtue of the relationship. We don't have to earn our worth.

Our human nature demands that we have worth.

Many people try to earn their worth through good deeds or some kind of admirable behavior. "Make a difference" or "live life to the fullest" or "learn all you can" are examples. This gives them both real and imagined praise which they then deceive themselves as evidence of worth. These people always need to earn their worth.