we live in illinois and I am worried about my future now i work as a full time attorney and make 100 thousand a year but now half of that goes to this girl who hasn't worked a day in her life since we've been together and only went to school to do nothing with it, I WENT TO LAW SCHOOL FOR 8 YEARS
i really feel like my wife is getting way too much from me how is this even possible I worked my whole life to only have my hard work split with someone who hasn't earned it...
is society going to tolerate this forever or start making things more equal for work and non-work?
50 percent of future income for 5 years plus half of my liftetime pension doesn't strike me as equality and leans a lot towards the wife non-worker
life is not fair and maybe i cannot change things for me but future generation im warning you
especially you guys out there DO NOT GET MARRIED never it will be the end of your life 50 percent of marriages end in divorce now and look what happened to me.
2007-10-20 08:29:44 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and to answer the question yes we have two kids but one is 13 the other is 16
and well back when we got married pre-nups weren't really around and i wasn't making as much as i am now so I wasn't worried
and the reason she got 75 percent was because was because she wasn't fullfilling my needs as a husband so i was seeing another woman at work
and yes i do make more then 200k a year but now the harder the work the more goes to her and this is rediculous
I only cheated because we lost our spark a long time ago long after we had kids and she stopped caring about me so I help raise the kids and stayed with her all this time now im seriously screwed don't you see.
2007-10-20 08:44:59 · update #1
she got to keep her bmw and also the 500 thousand dollar house, while i was forced to move out which is also rediculous we both should have been able to live in that house as far as im concerned its half mine, and i asked her to let me stay there and of course she refused, she acts more pissed then she really is and just wants revenge on me.
2007-10-20 08:48:36 · update #2
I was told that if I ever get the urge to get married... I should buy a house and give it to the female I hate the most. Your story somewhat enforces this theory.
2007-10-20 08:38:26 · answer #1 · answered by upright n breathin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound remotely possible.
If you are an attorney, you would be the first to understand how things are split in a divorce, especially your own. As well, you would understand what is normal and expected and there would be no call for sympathy because you above anyone would understand and accept the law. Finally, if you were an attorney, your wife would probably be the suffering party. This sounds like a fantasy by a 12 year old imagination, good try. (A whining attorney is bad enough but the 200K a year vs. 500K house was a give away, wrong debt to income ratio and the pension remark is outdated, a 401K would have been more acceptable.)
Sue me if I am wrong, but I don't think so.
2007-10-20 09:20:03 · answer #2 · answered by Helen Ready 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it doesn't sound fair from where we are. I would like to sympathize with you ,but there are facts that we all just don't know about, like did you cheat? Was she supporting you while you were in law school for 8 year. Did she put her own career on hold to take care of you while you were attending law school? Did you insist she doesn't work when you were married? Were you abusive mentally, or physically?
I still believe in the insitution of marriage. It's a life long commitment I look forward to making again. Yes I'm a divorcee too, but when we got married I didn't have too much and when we got divorced I was just starting to get my career together(firefighter/paramedic), so I didn't have to pay alimony, but I have kids with her. I pay my child support happily. (It's a strain sometimes, but hey I love my kids more than the problems she gave me). You have to love yourself more than you love your money and your career.
You're a lawyer, I'm pretty sure you can make your money and support her for the 5 years , and still have a fulfilling life. Hey, it's only money.
Oh, so the whole truth and nothing but the truth finally emergies. Hey man, I know it hard, but just realize it's going to get harder. The best thing you can do is take your medicine. And for God sakes don't try to cheat her out her money. Give her every penny with a smile. Get on with your life, cause you have to start all over again. Just remember to love your kids no matter what. They are the real victims here. You really need to stop crying about you and think about your kids.
Yes, she does hate you and she has no sympathy for you at all. I dealt with the same thing, and get this.......... my wife cheated on me and she still acted like I was her worst enemy. Big thing to remember is rational is out the window when it comes to a women scorned. You're gonna have to bite the bullet on this one..........real hard.
Good luck and God Bless you and your kids.
***By the way did your mistress stick around?*****
2007-10-20 08:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by Jaydee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes the divorce rate is quite high in the USA and statistically speaking I believe that approximately 70% of divorces are initiated by the wife. When a wife isn't happy in a marriage she will take the initiative to do something about it and ,usually it's in the best interest of the children. A bad marriage can be detrimental to the children and a divorce can actually be healthier for the children. I think that plays a big role in the wife's decision to make the first move.
2016-05-23 22:08:37 · answer #4 · answered by paris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you study family law? Never heard of atty getting screwed! Did she stay home to raise the kids? A house? other assets? There are always many details involved, so hard to know just how screwed you are. I got a divorce in Ca and wanted only my life back, and ended up with 1/2 of his pension, my stuff and half the house equity and all the financial assets....and I worked 3 jobs to his ONE.
2007-10-20 08:39:39 · answer #5 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live in Chicago. Law school according to DePaul, U. Of C, Northwestern, Loyola, John Marshall, is only 3 years.
If both of you lived together, both went to school, both exited with degrees, and yet, you married each other and CHOSE to have one person work and one to stay home, then yes, staying at home is a fulltime job as well especially if you have kids, which you didn't specify.
Also, the idea that she gets 50k a year from you for 5 years is not so bad in the long-run. Some people have to pay for 10 years or more.
Also, my friend just divorced, he paid for his home completely with his own money, his wife worked as a teacher in Chicago, and after she retired they divorced and he could have taken half of her pension because he is entitled as well, but being a nice guy he didn't do it.
Also, you didn't give specifics as to "what happened to you" so we don't really know the facts of the case.
Best Wishes.
P.s. Now I know why she got the house, because you cheated. I think one thing we learn from these message boards is to divorce if you're not happy. I guessin the future a prenuptial will be more agreeable to you.
2007-10-20 08:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You cheated, and that's why she's gettting so much from this. I don't care how you choose to justify it, YOU cheated, and this is completely fair in your case. Think next time before letting your d!ck wander!
Edit: Don't YOU see? You are making up every justification you can to try and get people on your side. Yes, it is true that 1 out of 2 marriages ends in divorce nowadays, but they end for mostly one of two reasons: adultery and finances. Those are the TOP TWO reasons. And you, my dear, committed adultery. Anyone who has had their spouse cheat should have the right to take them to the cleaners. It doesn't matter what your marriage is like, you should have the decency to GET OUT before having an affair. It goes for the women who have cheated as well. Your husband should be able to take you to the cleaners, too! Let this be a lesson to you to grow up and get marital help BEFORE making decisions that will affect your life like this. Not only have you destroyed a marriage (because up to this point, you and your wife could have attempted therapy to make it work), but you've also hurt your two children in the process. She has not done nothing for all these years. She kept your home, and raised your kids. And this is how you've chosen to repay her? Get on here and ***** about how YOU'VE been done wrong?! Get a grip on reality! I can imagine that you're not a terribly good attorney.
And what an attitude about relationships and marriage, and love, and sex, that you're teaching your children in all of this! My god, man! Have some respect and decency, and get your head out of your own as*!
2007-10-20 08:54:34 · answer #7 · answered by Shayna 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you had a piss head for a lawyer or you had a lady judge or a judge you pissed off.... There should not be a judge in this world who is able to give the spouse 75% of his income... Maybe 50% but thats still rediculas... They have a formilure at bdomestic relations for dispertion of funds for support and it does not give anyone 75%.. Get a good lawyer and appeal... Good luck you need it Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-10-20 08:45:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did I read right? You're an attorney? I don't understand how anyone could get half of their husband's income. Half of their pension, yes, but not a regular income. $100,000 is not really that much if you think about it. Your lifestyle would drastically be altered. I don't know who you had for your divorce attorney, but your wife definitely had a better one. But don't take this as a negative thing for everyone. I am the wife of a retired Marine, and am entitled to 50% of his pension if we divorce, but I couldn't imagine going after 50% of his regular pay. It may cost you the next five years, but at least you don't have to wake up next to her anymore.
2007-10-20 08:41:30 · answer #9 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are the lawyer, so how did you end up losing your divorce case? You should have signed up a pre-nup. What kind of lawyer are you?
It's a scam. No lawyers make only 100k. You must be kidding.
You should know as an attorney that lying doesn't help your case. So now you are saying that you make over 200k? Make up your mind, liar!
2007-10-20 08:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by terliuke 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋