If you were going to have your second child, what is the best age difference?

Question

Not me. My daughter!

Answer 1

I think its better to have them close together, you never stop doing what you are doing with the first one, if I had had a break I dont know that I would have ever wanted to start getting up at night all over again, and they are best of friends being only 21 months apart. It wasnt planned that way, it just worked out that way and I think it worked out very well.

And I think doing it that way you have more time for them because when they are 3 and 4 and up there isnt a new baby demanding your attention, and you arent tired all the time the way you can be with a new baby.

And as the other poster said they are in the same schools, my kids for a little while ever year become officially only 1 year apart in age. For awhile they would be ages 5 and 6 for instance, then three months later go back to the 2 year difference, being 5 and 7.

Answer 2

2 years

Answer 3

I think farther apart is better. My sister is 13 years my elder. While that may be a bit much, having a significant age difference cuts down sibling rivalry, I think. Then the kids aren't in the same school at the same time, they have totally different friends, they are interested in different activities and just at two different stages in their life.

When I was a teenager going through a rough relationship with my parents, I greatly appreciated that my sister had moved out and had her own place. That gave me a place to go that was still supervised, just not by mom and dad. We never fought over who got to spend time on their morning routine in the bathroom first, and we never stole boyfriends from each other.

The one thing to be careful of (as a parent) is that you don't use the older child as an automatic babysitter, or they will grow resentful of their younger sibling.

Answer 4

My girls are 2 years and 3 mos apart. They fought like cats and dogs but at the same time were fiercely protective of each other. My son is 7+ yrs and 5+ yrs younger than the girls...now that was a dream as I had two little mommies to help me out!...and because of the age difference he later lived somewhat as an only child....:-)

Answer 5

My children are 3 years apart. That was perfect for me. I got to spend some great one-on-one time with the older child and she had been out of diapers for a while. Having two kids in diapers at the same time is not cool. Also my older child was also rather helpful when the baby came along!

Answer 6

I am the oldest with two younger sisters. My next sister is 15 months younger than me and we were really close growing up. My youngest sister is 6 years younger than me and at first I really enjoyed having a new "toy" to play with, but we have never been very close. I have a son and a daughter who are about 3 years apart and they got along great... and they still do. I can't tell you what is best, just offer my own life experiences.

Answer 7

I would think a two year separation would be good. As they
would be close enough in age to enjoy similar interests. But
if they are boy and girl, that might cause a problem. Our
oldest a girl, was resentful of our youngest, a boy, as she
got older. As the years went on, it became "mom likes you
best", type of attitude. I have seen families where two daughters, of two years apart were great together, playing
dolls and sharing things in their room. And two boys seem
to fight alot, for some reason. I still think two years is a good
span for them to play together. If there is a wider span, then
you have the big sister thing or big brother thing going. One
may look down on the smaller one with that much of a bridge.
It of course depends on the family and how they are taught to
treat each other with respect and love. Our son wanted to
love his sister, but she resented him all her life. And still does
i believe. Even tho, he has not been in touch with his family
in so many years. She still feels we shouldn't bother talking to
him or wanting to see him. I think she feels she's the only
child again, even tho a bit old at 40 to feel that way.

Answer 8

Small gap( - 2 yrs): Pros: get the drudgery out the way in one fell swoop (diapers, sleepless nights), they'll probably be close growing up - if they don't kill eachother in the meantime (especially if they're girls). That is also a con, btw. More cons: as a parent, consider yourself indefinitely confined to the baby world. You'll also have two in college at the same time. You may not pay as much attention to both of them as you might if they were further apart.
Medium/ Big gap (2-4 yrs/ 4 + yrs): Pros: you will probably have more time to enjoy your pregnany more and get some sleep at night, you may still occasionally get out once in a while (especially if no. 1 is in kindergarten and you have some willing grandparents). Less sibling rivalry (esp. 4 + yrs). You'll also have more time to dedicate to each baby as a individual. Cons: probably less close while growing up (esp big gap and if they're different sex babies). Plus, you'll have to do everything all over again, just when you'd probably started getting in to a comfy routine.

Answer 9

My sister and I grew up 19 months apart...Not easy on Mama. However, AS a Mama, I put 5 years between my boys. This way I could give more time to each one. While big Brother was in half day Kindergarten, I could give all that time to the new baby. When big brother got home from school, baby was down for a nap and I could give time to the oldest. They grew up very close, and today at 23 and 28 they are still very close. It's all in how you raise them.

Answer 10

I had two years between my first two then 5 years between 2 and 3 and another 2 between the third and fourth (and last).
I think that worked great as a mother as it gave me a break between the 2 lots of kids.

My eldest son didn't like it tho as he wanted a brother and had to wait for my fourth to be born before he got one. Sadly there was a big difference between them. One was always too old for the other when it came to doing things.