Im a 23 yr old virgin and have never really felt ready for sex before now! but reacently me and my friend have become really close and i feel ready to loose my virginity to him!but there is one major problem...he has a girlfriend(she lives in a diff part of the country so i dont know her).
Im feeling really confussed and my head is all over the place!! Help???
2007-10-20 07:39:47 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
he knows abt my feelings for him and told me he feels the same for me.
we have also kissed a few times
I know this makes me sound like an awful person but believe me im not!!
I feel awful abt the whole thing
2007-10-20 07:45:37 · update #1
Don't do it until there is long term proof he has ended that other relationship.
If he cheats on her he will cheat on you. A dog won't usually grow up to be a man. You are doing the right thing by not having meaningless sex so don't start now. It's normal you get urges but it does not mean it is love or he should be the first one. Even if he ends the relationship with her I would wait for a couple of months to make sure he did not get some STD from her. Herpes can be transmitted without the person knowing or not telling you they have it. And there are worse STDs so be careful of the guys past sexual history.
You deserve someone who is totally into you with no other love interest.
2007-10-20 07:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by realme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you think with your head instead of that other thing. He has a GF - she is elsewhere. Nice. So he cheats on her with you while he is withy ou. Then he goes back and plays with her when she is available.
Is there something wrong here? If you are getting into this merry-go-round for the sake of sex - I suppose it is your choice. But if you seek a meaningful relationship - this is definitely not it. Did you ask - how many other "Others" does he have 'Not here" or Not there. He is not interested in a relationship - he is an opportunist.
Why do you have to become used goods - what if you get an X rated disease? What happens if he gets carried away and injures you to prevent you from having kids - ever. It would not be the first time that happened.
What is all the rush? Slow down and think with your head about this. You will have only one chance and after that you are not innocent any more. 23 or not, you do not have to yied to bisic urges.
I am not trying to be a prude, I am saying, it does not appear to be a relationship that is any more than making you an alternate playmate to his other sex pot. IF that is what you want - have at it. Remember - you have only one First Time.
Best make it for real.
2007-10-20 07:50:11 · answer #2 · answered by organbuilder272 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple. Are you going to be a slut for your first encounter? You know this person is cheating, don't be a cow. Your first time will last forever in your mind and knowing you slept with this person while having a partner is only going to haunt you. Find someone else and learn how to spell while you're at it. Maybe sleep with the English teacher if he is single.
You edited, so I will answer that. If he feels the same, "of course he feels the same" he has a penis... Anyway if he feels the same for you as you do him, he would break up with this girl first and then be with you and then if it was anything serious he would be willing to wait a little. I think you're hot and ready, just don't sleep with another persons boyfriend, how would you like it done to you? If this guy is willing to cheat, do you want him at all?
2007-10-20 07:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by Ask A Question 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey Katie Anne!
You're obviously a person of values and are confused by this situation. You'll be setting yourself up for a heartbreak and a loss. He's not there for you.
Most people "feel ready to lose their virginity" because either: they feel pressured into it, or they have low self esteem, thinking there's something wrong with them if they don't have sex by a certain time, or they want to give it away to someone they think they're in love with or in the "heat of the moment".
All of the above are the wrong reason for losing your virginity. And there is no deadline for losing your virginity!
Having sexual relations is an extremely intimate way of being vulnerable and giving yourself to someone. If you give it to the wrong person and in the wrong situation, you'll feel empty or alone the next day, and if he's not there for you as is often the case, you'll feel abandoned and used.
This is not to mention the risk of HIV/AIDS and other STDs. Your boyfriend might be nice, but you don't know who he's had sex with, or who his other girlfriend has sex with if he has had sex with her.
When you give your virginity away, it needs to be to someone whom you really know, and who'll love you and be there for YOU. When you find such a person -- and you will -- marry him and then lose it. And make a family while you're at it.
Until that happens, I wouldn't recommend you doing it.
2007-10-20 07:53:33 · answer #4 · answered by Joe_D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has a girlfriend. Would you really want to be the other woman? How would you feel if it was your boyfriend sleeping with another girl? Besides, you may be ready, but do you love him? I mean really love him? If he's just a friend you may regret it later that you didn't wait to be with someone you at least were in love with, even if it was a relationship that wasn't forever. Don't be the other woman, you don't want that kind of title.
2007-10-20 07:43:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You waited all this time to lose your virginity and your going to give it to some bum who already has a girlfriend? I dont think you really want to be the "other woman" on your first time. Just because she lives far and you dont know her, doesnt make it ok.
2007-10-20 07:45:10 · answer #6 · answered by Katie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing fo ryou to do is talking to this guy. Don't coem right out and tel him you want sex just tell if how you feel tell him you like him and you think its better if he dated you instead fo this girl halfway around the country! I hope i helped at leaste a little bit!!!
2007-10-20 07:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by sammywammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you stepping into this mess? Cool down and wait. If he wants to have a relationship with you and is ready to break it off with his girlfriend, that's different. But if he's wanting to keep her and have sex with you, I think you are going to get hurt.
2007-10-20 07:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by animalover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been doing fine for 23 years, don't ruin it for your friend or anybody else on that matter. Especially, he has a girlfriend, that isn't right to do what you want to do with him/ Wait for your first husband, that's the right time to lose your virginity.
2007-10-20 07:42:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
He has a girlfriend. Does it really matter that you don't know her? There is an old saying...what goes around comes around. Ya know..like... you will reap what you sow... do unto others...get it? I don't think you should sleep with someone that already has a girlfriend no matter how close you are to him.
2007-10-20 07:45:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋