How to deal with this type of men? 10 points for the best answer. Thank you?

Question

My love for three years is a deep thinker. He also does not like to express his feelings to me. We have a difficulty communication and express the true feelings for each others. Well, he listens to me, but he does not want to show me how he feels.

What should I do?

Thank you very much..

He has been in a military for 6 years.

Answer 1

If you want to keep this relationship going, I suggest that you accept him as he currently is.

Attempting to change him or to remake him into the ideal mate will only result in frustration on your part.

However, verbal communication is only one aspect of human interaction. He can show his love and his caring for you in a thousand other ways. You just need to focus on those non-verbal cues to understand what he is thinking and how he is thinking of you at any moment.

His deep emotions will be apparent if you concentrate on the subtle nuances of his speech patterns, his body language, his general affect...

Just look a little deeper and a little harder. His true self will become apparent.

Answer 2

Maybe he expresses himself differently than most people. Sometimes, people in general, wants to hear what the partner is thinking or feeling. Maybe the partner doesn't know how to express his feelings through words but maybe he is more comfortable expressing through gifts, art, actions/behaviors, etc. The way to deal with men like that is to watch how he deals with life in general and verbalize what you think he is feeling so that he can either agree or disagree and he can better verbalize how he really feels.

Like if he gets cut off by another driver while driving and he gets angry and changes lanes and speeds up like a mad man, you can ask him why he is so angry at the other driver when you're not in a hurry to get anywhere. He may respond by saying something like he's not angry...he's just nervous because the other driver could've caused an accident. So now you know that when he is nervous, he appears angry. And you were able to get him to verbalize his action. Maybe a bad example...but it does work, after some time, if you can share what you feel and what you think he feels or how you receive his messages by you explaining in your own words. That gives him a chance to reiterate and clarify any confusion.

Answer 3

Men and women communicate differently. Women usually need verbal validation but men rely on actions. This leads to lots of communication problems between the sexes. Because men rely on actions to show their feelings and emotions the best way to communicate with your man about how he feel about you is to look at his actions. Is he loving and caring towards you? or does he cut you down and belittle you when given the chance? Does he encourage the positive things about you? He may be showing you how he feels instead of telling you.

I know as a woman it is nice to hear it, but 85% of communication is non-verbal: a look, a smile, a touch, a nice gesture. If you can become more intuned to his actions you can see for yourself how he feels about you. The good part of this is that it is difficult to lie with your actions. If you don't like someone you can put on an act for a little while, but there will be non-verbal signs.

Good luck, hope you can start communicating more effectively.

Answer 4

People have different ways of interacting and communicating with one another. This is just an opinion, and you know what they say about those, but I don't think people should force others to adopt their way of communication. What I mean is, often times women try to make men who do not go about life by expressing their feelings do so and it's just uncomfortable and awkward for everyone. Sometimes we just have to learn to take subtle cues instead of forcing someone into doing something which is unnatural for them. Perhaps he tries to show you how he feels about you in other ways like romantic or thoughtful gestures. Actions do speak louder than words, right? My advice is to stop expecting a clone of yourself and let him be who he is, or date a woman.

Answer 5

If you think you can live for the rest of your life without being shown affection from your partner, then stick with him. He probably won't change, even though you hope he will.
I personally could not survive that. Humans need affection and love and if your man is so damaged or insecure that he cannot (or will not) show it to you, then I would have to consider if I could exist without it. Can you imagine what he will be like if you have children? Children need to be shown love all the time otherwise they will be scarred, too. Emotional openness is a trust issue for some people....maybe he feels he doesnt trust you yet?

Answer 6

I was in the military and a deep thinker. If he's with you he really likes you-or loves you. Just be cool aroiund him and he just might start to show his feelings. Our environment makes us. 6-10 years out of the military and he should be a great, open person....

Answer 7

You can't change the spots on a leopard. If he is your true love, you have to accept him for what he is. I guess you'll just have to trust that he loves you because he's with you.
My sister married very young and then worked to put her husband through college. He was gone long hours and when he was home, he studied. She says she asked him one night "why don't you ever tell me you love me... how do I know you love me?" His answer "I come home, don't I?"
Some men are just not comfortable talking about feelings. If it bothers you too much, you should probably find a different man... or accept the one you have.

Answer 8

Well, if he neither expresses nor shows you how he feels about you, why do you think of him as 'your love'? What is a relationship without honest and open communication?

We never get more than we settle for...

Answer 9

Explain to him that communication is a two way street.

While it is good that he can understand you, you are looking to understand him. Something that is impossible to do if he doesn't open up to you in turn.

Try to reassure him that his feelings and thoughts are important to you and that you are not looking for ways to put him down or laugh at his feelings. (This might be the reason he won't open up... he may feel vulnerable and be afraid that his feelings/ thoughts are silly and can be somehow "used against him").

Hope this helps.

Answer 10

He doesn't show you or he doesn't tell you? If he loves you, he doesn't have to be verbal. I'm sure he shows you by the things he does, so why change him? If your uncomfortable with that and it's jeopardizing your relationship, then maybe the both of you can get counseling and see how that goes. Good luck!