your husband/wife said to you..."i dont know if i am in love w/ you"....what would you do? have i asked this before? if so, please answer AGAIN....because this really worries my mind.
2007-10-20 06:58:03 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
"Is this the result of something that I've been doing (or not doing)?" should be the 1st thing out of your mouth. The next thing should be, "What can I do to make you feel better about our life together?" Talk to each other, w/ or w/o counseling. My 3rd wife lost the desire to apply herself to our relationship after 11yrs. together. I'm not 100% sure that I didn't do anything to drive her to it, but I contribute it mainly to a brain tumor & mis-medication. I was so desparate to save our relationship that I resorted to Wiccan incantations (completely lost my faith -- I did!). When I re-discovered my faith, the marriage fell apart (like it was turned off with a switch). Today my life goes on, & my Christian faith is strong. My best advice to you is to look within yourself for happiness -- don't depend on someone else for it, & look to our Creator for purpose & strength. I haven't often spoken of this period of weakness in my life (because of my shame for it), but I hope it helps you stay on an even keel. Co-dependence will make you vulnerable to spousal abuse, & leave your heart broken, so find your happiness from within. My prayers go with you.
2007-10-20 09:57:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably what I did when my husband said he never loved
me, he just married me because he had cancer and thought he was going to die but he didn't. There was really nothing I could do but but move on and let him go, and also there was a third person involved who was encouraging it all. Now I have a wonderful husband who doesn't have a doubt that he loves me, I don't have to be guessing all the time.Life is too short, ask him "just how long do you think it will take you to find out?" If there's no clear cut answer demonstrated by his behavior, kick this jerk to the curb, best of luck.
2007-10-23 20:06:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would simply say, "We have been together for 23 years. At what point do you think you will have an answer?" followed by, "I advise that sooner is better, for you have left me wondering if I am in love with you...funny, I never thought about it before!" I might be devastated, but you can bet your bippy they would NEVER know it! Actions speak so much louder than words ever can.
But a better question would be, "Why does this worry you?" IF you live each day of your life as if your partner can walk out the door tomorrow and never look back, trust me, you will be treating them very well today! You will treat them today in such a way that they will stay one more day. And that is exactly how it should be, every day, every week, every month, every year. Peace and love, Goldwing
2007-10-20 14:34:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
You only get l life and I think its too short to go through it with someone who does not appreciate and love you back. If counseling is out of the question I would suggest you take a good hard look at where you want to be in a year or two and if he is not in the picture you should move on.
2007-10-20 19:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry darl if this is personal.
My hubby tells me daily that he loves me so I am not in that situation. However:
What you would need to do is sit down and talk about what it was that made you fall in love with each other and relearn to appreciate those things again.
Also you need to be keenly interested in each other and what your likes and dislikes are. Kind of like a rediscovery tour!!! Do things together as a couple, I find as we grow older we can grow apart, you need to bring each other closer together.
All these things will help keep the love alive.
Hope I was able to help!!
2007-10-21 08:35:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a good friend whose husband said that to her after 19 years of marriage. She was devasted. They talked it out.Went to counseling. He ended up moving out about 8 months later into an apartment with his young girlfriend.She never saw it coming.
2007-10-20 15:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest he move out on his own until he made up his mind. I'd give him a month....then, I'd change the locks, pack up the rest of his stuff - put it on the front porch and start divorce proceedings.
I don't need him - he is a drag on my lifestyle and a real downer. He will probably be unfaithful if he stays and will whine a lot.
Life is too short.
2007-10-20 17:30:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to sit down and talk to your spouse. Find out why they are feeling this way and what they want to do about it. Then you can decide your future together. You don't want to have to keep worrying all the time that they may decide some day they don't love you and will want to leave.
2007-10-20 16:03:10 · answer #8 · answered by luvspbr2 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My son came to me some years ago telling me he felt like that about his wife. I advised him " when in doubt - DON'T " and explained to him that relationships have their peaks and valleys and it is always not about 24x7 romance. That was in 1996 - they are still together - happily.
I learned this the hard way as I was the one to say "I no longer love you" to his father years before. Have I regretted it? No, not really - too late for regret, but I often wonder if I could have hung in there a bit longer. I was young and the problem we faced was one he refused to address so I felt I had no option. Thankfully we are still friends.
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slk - that had to have been so rough for you! I'm happy life changed for you :-)
2007-10-20 15:04:06 · answer #9 · answered by sage seeker 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him/her and ask, "What's really on your mind?" Might be confused or afraid life is passing by too fast, or the worry of being a provider is too much. Ask for couseling - alone & together. Good luck!
2007-10-20 14:02:35 · answer #10 · answered by Da Bomb 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋