I am a 27 year old guy living with my parents getting married to a22 year old girl .Our is a arrange marriage & I love her very much So I would be graceful to you if you can give any advice or suggesstion to me so that I can keep my bride happy
2007-10-20 06:40:31 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
read 1 Corinthians 13 verses 4-8. marriage is hard work, you have to work at a marriage. no marriage is perfect, remember you will be learning about each other. talk things out when there is a problem. was married for 35 until my husband died three and half years ago. I wish the both of you happiness. when I married my late husband, I was 20 1/2 and he was 29.
2007-10-20 06:50:53 · answer #1 · answered by lover of Jehovah and Jesus 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unlike some of the other voters here I understand you come from a background where individual choice has less value than the family's decision. That being said, you still have some rights, because America does not place any special value on arranged marriages.
You need to be very, very sure that you love her for herself, not simply because she may be your only opportunity to enjoy married life. If the latter is the case, then you are not ready for marriage, and in most Eastern and Islamic sects you have the right to refuse your parents on these grounds.
I would also suggest that you travel to a modern bookstore (Barnes and Noble, Waldenbooks), and seek out some marriage manuals: one on proper behavior and negotiation skills (anything by Dr. Joyce Brothers), one on the marital arts (The Illustrated Kama Sutra), and then a book about women written from thier own point of view (Our Bodies, Ourselves).
Some marriage counseling, just for you and your bride, by a secular counselor would also be called for. This will be especially helpful in helping you and your wife determine which roles you will play in the marriage within the context of a surrounding Western culture.
Finally, some personal advice: (1) avoid, at all possible costs, the bachelor party. These are primarily designed to encourage license among your male friends rather than yourself. If you cannot possibly avoid one, do everything you can to stay pure for the sake of your bride. One of the other classical purposes of the bachelor party is to provide a virgin groom the opportunity to obtain sexual experience before the actual marriage. You do not need this! (2) do not drink any alcohol during the wedding, as your bride will not enjoy your breath during the wedding night, let alone be rendered impotent by it. (3) do not be disappointed if the wedding night does not go as you have always imagined it. Especially, do not blame yourself, your bride, or your marriage...you will have plenty of years to practice.
Good luck!
2007-10-20 07:25:55 · answer #2 · answered by The Eternal Squire 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that you love her. Treat her with kindness and decency. Help out around the house (trust me, we women think that is SOOOO sensitive and cool!). Remember: you didn't marry her family; you married her. On either side, your families are not the final say in the marriage; only the two of you are. Don't bring them into your relationship. When with her physically, take her feelings and body into consideration. Realize that you have a potential best friend and treat her as one. Be faithful, no matter how hard it gets. Be a good provider and a good father. Remember the most important thing: "You get out of a marriage what YOU put into it." Good luck and God bless.
2007-10-20 07:11:51 · answer #3 · answered by Judy W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When asked what was the single biggest reason couples split up, a divorce attorney answered: “The inability to talk honestly with each other, bare their souls and treat each other as their best friend.” Yes, communication is the lifeblood of a strong marriage. As the Bible says, “there is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk.” (Proverbs 15:22) Husbands and wives need to be ‘confidential friends,’ enjoying a warm, intimate relationship. (Proverbs 2:17) Yet, many couples flounder when it comes to communication, and thus resentment festers until an eruption of destructive anger occurs. Or marriage mates may hide behind a thin veneer of civility, emotionally distancing themselves from each other.
Part of the problem seems to be that men and women often have different communication styles. Most women seem comfortable discussing feelings, whereas men generally seem to prefer discussing facts. Women are more inclined to show empathy and give emotional support, while men tend to seek and offer solutions. Still, the potential for good communication exists where both mates are determined to be “swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath.” (James 1:19) Make eye contact and really pay attention. Draw each other out with considerate questions. (Compare 1 Samuel 1:8; Proverbs 20:5.) Instead of trying to offer a quick solution when your mate reveals a problem, listen carefully as you work to resolve matters. And humbly pray together, seeking divine guidance.—Psalm 65:2; Romans 12:12.
Sometimes the stresses and strains of life seem to leave marriage mates with little time or energy for meaningful talk. However, to keep their marriage honorable and safeguard it against defilement, they must remain close to each other. They need to treat their union as something precious, valuable, and must buy out time for it and for each other. (Compare Colossians 4:5.) In some cases the solution to finding time for wholesome talk may be as simple as switching off the TV. Regularly sharing a cup of tea or coffee can help marriage partners to keep in touch emotionally. On such occasions they can ‘consult together’ on various family matters. (Proverbs 13:10) And how wise it is to develop the habit of talking over minor irritations and misunderstandings before they become major sources of tension!—Compare Matthew 5:23, 24; Ephesians 4:26.
Confessed one man: “It’s hard for me, quite often, to really speak my mind and really tell [my wife] just exactly the way I feel.” Self-disclosure, though, is an important key to developing intimacy. Note how open and honest Jesus was with the prospective members of his bride class. He said: “I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master does. But I have called you friends, because all the things I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15) So view your spouse as a friend. Trust your mate with your feelings. Make an effort to make simple, honest “expressions of endearment.” (Song of Solomon 1:2) Open communication may at times seem awkward, but when both marriage mates put forth adequate effort, much will be achieved toward making their marriage a lasting union.
2007-10-20 22:34:47 · answer #4 · answered by Everlasting Life 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For my own wedding ceremony, I made decrease priced, yet beautiful, wedding ceremony favors. i offered approximately 6-7 pounds of shelled almonds at Wal*Mart for a great fee. Then I wrapped parts of one ounce one by one into fluted internet circles you may purchase on the dollar save, or a celebration save if want be. I tied them up with paper "curling" ribbons interior the marriage colorations. They appeared large, and that they offered a severe-high quality salty snack for after the marriage cake. base line?...the fee for the almonds, tulle, and ribbon got here out to easily 25 cents in line with want (back in 2002). good success and that i'm hoping you adult adult males have the suitable wedding ceremony!
2016-11-09 00:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by gurucharan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you will be living on your own and not with your parents. You should respect her. Always keep the lines of communication open and don't ever keep anything from her. You need to be very affectionate and caring. Good Luck!
2007-10-24 06:37:21 · answer #6 · answered by asouthwell28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im 22 and married to a 29 year odl dont worry it gonna be great just have fun together
2007-10-20 07:08:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah. Get a job, rent an apartment and move out of your mom's house. How do you rock the boat when your mom is sleeping?
2007-10-20 10:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by I'M GONNA GO PLACES 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
make sure you really love her first of all.
never lie to her, and always be faithful.
thats the most important thing.
cuz lying and cheating is what ruins a marriage.
other then that, find out what she likes, and do it!
2007-10-20 06:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get a job, get the heck out of Mommy's house!
2007-10-20 06:44:53 · answer #10 · answered by delux_version 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋