I prefer to only date with the premise that my boyfriend could potentially be someone I marry. I am not ready for marriage right now, but will be in 3 to 5 years (I'm 24 years old now). My current boyfriend has revealed to me that he has no desire to marry at all. I don't want to be foolish enough to think that he will change. We have a great relationship right now, but the future prospect of being with someone who won't want to marry me is bothersome. Am I thinking to much about this or is it a valid concern? Should we call it quits or should I just enjoy what I have in the present?
2007-10-20 03:04:12 · 11 answers · asked by alisafmorris 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are absolutely right, you are at an age that could get married in the near future and you should be be planning on connecting with someone who wants to get married also in the near future. If one of the two is not interested in getting married at all, they must be getting something from the other person they are with,thous they are happy as is, no commitments at all and life goes on for them and their selfish desires.
My suggestion to you is to find someone who wants to get married in the near future. Make your thoughts clear to this guy and get his reaction and if he persists to continue as you are, give him the boot. You can not waste your time and future.
2007-10-20 03:22:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not say simply quit on the current relationship but perhaps ease out of it a bit and perhaps both of you go out with others as well. If you will be ready for marriage in 3 to 5 years, you should find that person soon so that you have the 3 to 5 years to get to know each other before making a commitment as serious as marriage and perhaps by dating others he may change his mind and want to marry you if he sees the alternative is to give you up. If he doesn't want you to go out with others, but still doesn't want to think about marriage at all, he may not be a good choice to keep in your life at all.
Remember that if you wait for the 5 years to plan for marriage, and perhaps take another year or two to find the right man, several years to date him and make sure he is the right one, you have gone from 24 to whatever age, say 34 for the sake of illustration, before you will have your first child - not too old certianly but something to consider.
2007-10-20 10:34:52 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything can happen between now and 5 years from now. You might not be alive in 5 years. Besides the people you meet and go out with today may be the poeple who introduce you to the person you will marry. As the old saying goes Don't burn your bridges. And stop living in the future or you won't have a present.
2007-10-20 14:05:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a good relationship with your boyfriend now and he has know interest in getting married right. if he has made up his mind not to marry than he wont and if you feel that you are in a relationship with him and it is bothering you that he doesnt want toget married. It is a valid concern because you want to get married someday and if this is the man that you are expecting to marry and he doesnt want marriage. Than perhaps you should find someone that wants the same things you want out of life and if marriage is what you want than he is not the one for you. This is your choice not mines.
best of luck
2007-10-20 16:05:35 · answer #4 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you guys don't share common long term goals...such as one wanting marriage and the other nay...then it could potentially turn out to be a heartbrake for you down the road. Chances are if you really want to find the one to marry then as good as the current relationship may be you're never really going to be truely happy and it will haunt you. Do what feels right in your heart.
2007-10-20 10:15:54 · answer #5 · answered by d_hersom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly cannot understand what the big deal is. You can still live a happy life without being married. True....a marriage license gives you more benefits, but it doesn't mean you will be any happier. You can be married and not have it work out, so what is the problem? He could change his mind, and if he doesn't...big deal. If you are happy with him, that is what counts....not a piece of paper.
2007-10-20 18:56:21 · answer #6 · answered by dalbax2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look if you are enjoying your relationship right now don't force the issues. You can't look into the future you can only live in the moment. You don't know that he won't change his mind. You might be ruining a perfectly good relationship.
2007-10-20 10:09:49 · answer #7 · answered by mamabee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can look at it a couple of ways. One you might miss out on finding a man to marry by staying with this man. Or two you can just continue to be with this man and have fun knowing you will not be marrying him.....
2007-10-20 10:10:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no possible future with this man and your right aint no use in trying to change him. if you like having fun with him stick with him til ya'll break up the down side to that is your wasting time with him cuz in the long run when your ready to marry he going to bail out (but there is always hope that he may come around)
2007-10-20 10:24:33 · answer #9 · answered by Cutie Pie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
" DO NOT" waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't have the same goal of marriage you do...Dr Phil has the kewlest book called "Love Smart" that shares on this very topic....You can get it at your local library, bookstore or online at Amazon.com...
.I gave a copy to a relative recently and they thanked me for sparing them heart break with the person they were dating who had "ZERO" interest in anything more than dating...
.Now My relative is happy and in love with a gal who also wants to marry in the future....Good luck !!!!
2007-10-20 10:24:20 · answer #10 · answered by Dog Rescuer 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋