could someone please tell me a joke or tickle me or SOMETHING.....
2007-10-20 03:01:37 · 22 answers · asked by Bite me 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I have a few blonde jokes.
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says to him “Doctor I’m hurting all over my body.”
“That’s odd” replied the doctor “Show me what you mean”
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says to her “Your not a natural brunette are you?”
“No I’m a blonde” she replies.
“I thought so... your finger is broken.” replies the doctor
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A blond gets on a plane and goes up to first-class. The flight attendant tells her that she will have to move back; her ticket is not for first class. The blond says, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to California.” The main flight attendant is brought in and explains that she will have to move. The blond says, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to California.”
The attendants tell the pilot. He comes in and looks the situation over. He leans over and whispers something to the blond and she gets up immediately and moves out of first class. The attendants are flabbergasted, “What did you say to her?” “I just told her that this section of the plane doesn’t go to California.”
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Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.
As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are…very slowly?”
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing.
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John gets a call from his very blonde girlfriend Buffy.
“I’ve got a problem,” says Buffy.
“What’s the matter?” asks John.
“Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it’s too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can’t find any edges.”
“What’s the picture of?” asks John.
“It’s of a big rooster,” replies Buffy.
“All right,” says John. “I’ll come over and have a look.”
So he goes over to Buffy’s house and she greets him by saying, “Thanks for coming over.” Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table.
John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says, “For heaven’s sake, Buffy, put the corn flakes back in the box.”
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She Was So Blonde…
…she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”.
…she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
…she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
…she told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DONT WALK”.
…she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
…she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.
…she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
…she tried to drown a fish.
…she thought a quarterback was a refund.
…she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
…if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you’d get change back.
…they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
…under “education” on her job application, she put “Hooked On Phonics.”
…she tripped over a cordless phone.
…she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
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Two blondes were riding a train for the first time. They had brought along a bag of apples for lunch. Just as one bit into
her apple, the train entered a tunnel under a mountain.
In the darkness was overheard, “Did you take a bite of your apple?”
“No.”
“Well, don’t. I did and I just went blind.”
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This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots a blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field.
“Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field?”
The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, “Because it is an ocean of wheat.”
The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field. “It is blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.”
The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again.
The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at the blonde in the field then yelled, “if I could swim I would have come out there and kicked you.”
and one just to make you cringe
A teacher was retiring after 30 years of teaching, so each child decided they wanted to bring her a special retirement present. A little girl who was the daughter of a fine chocolate dealer brought her a box full of fine chocolates.
A little boy who was the son of a florist brought her a big bouquet of flowers. Another little boy who was the son of a fine liquor dealer brought her a big box that was sealed, and it had something leaking from the bottom of the box. The teacher said, "I bet I know what this is!"
She tasted some of the leakage from the box and said, "I bet this is some wine!"
The little boy said, "Nope!"
She tasted it again and said "Liquor?"
The little boy said, "Nope!"
She tasted it again and said, "Beer?"
The little boy said, "Nope!"
She said, "Well what is it?"
The little boy said, "A puppy!"
2007-10-20 03:08:02 · answer #1 · answered by BUSHY 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The best joke is the American media's coverage of American politics. Please enjoy Fox News as a money-making entertainment experience and laugh at those Limbaugh fans who believe every word of it. George flagrantly stole an election and then went on to bake intelligence allowing an illegal invasion of Iraq. The media collaborated to convince many Americans that this is a noble war rather than an imperial occupation. George then flip flopped several times on our reasons for the invasion.
According to a survey referenced by Al Franken, Limbaugh fans believe themselves to be very well informed. This is a source who swore that tobacco was not addictive. For a thorough debunking of Limbaugh and how he makes up facts and presents fictional stories as facts, please see the Al Franken source below. Al is a great comedian and great read!
2007-10-20 10:20:40 · answer #2 · answered by Skeptic 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wish I could bottle laughter and sell it. I need a joke tooâº
2007-10-20 22:06:20 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes laughter is good medicine .......Support Groups Also are good medicine because they address the issue you are having a hard time with .....In these groups you will hear others with your problem and learn new ways and solutions to address your problem that you would not of thought of on your own..........
Blessings to you!!! 8-)
2007-10-20 10:07:03 · answer #4 · answered by Dog Rescuer 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say Love and Laughter x
2007-10-20 10:05:08 · answer #5 · answered by janet s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HECK YA...laughter is GREAT!!!! It makes u live longer as well!!!
*runs over to u * so u want to laugh let's see........
Roses R red
Violets r blue
You R on Answers
I hope that was good for U!!
*LOL*
have a great day!!
2007-10-20 10:08:43 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Kitty 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How about a nice riddle to think about? You can't cheat or it will eat at your mind until you go insane.
I went into the woods and got it, I sat down to seek it, I brought it home with me because I couldn't find it. What is it?
2007-10-20 10:05:46 · answer #7 · answered by its me 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I'm right there with you. I need to hear something funny. I wish I could laugh moreâ¥
2007-10-20 21:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Squirt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
umm a skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop
2007-10-20 10:10:46 · answer #9 · answered by Cassie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi I'll send u big hug I'm no Good at jokes
2007-10-20 12:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by WTamSP 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋