Can I share some thoughts - Foggy Night, Foggy Light.....?

Question

.

Foggy Night, Foggy Light


Gray, with splashes of color
Hues of fog
Brilliant whites
Opaque reds
And hard blues

My mind longs to return
To those poetic moments
Of years ago
Alas, I may never return
For nothing remains the same
I suppose my writing
Is all the more painful now
All the more dull
Save the Lord deliver my soul
Back to the brilliant light
And the freedom to live

Spectacular foggy night
My mind too is foggy
With blips of music
And thoughts shimmering
Through the mist

If I had more faith
Then I would have less fear
And without fear
I am free
But for now
Uncertainty masters my soul
Even as I plan
A freedom run

Yet in these days
I have found strength
In familiar voices
Inspiration to do good
From hearts that are one

Yea, I shall call myself silly
One day
For this folly
This lack of bravery
Even these tears

Perhaps my bones grow too weary
I have traveled long
Yet I still have a path to go

.


I have not blazed
Not set afire as I pleased
For the fire must be set
Beyond going out
That my loved ones
Would carry the torch
Of righteousness
In Jesus’ name

.

Thanks for reading this long submission.

Answer 1

Very good and reminded me of something Bob Dylan would write.

Answer 2

Ah, very true, very true. I love it, it's a great poem, that I know I can relate to.

Knowing that your mind is clouded with...bits of everything, with only a few strong thoughts lighting the way through. Wondering if you've been losing your faith in God, or if it was caused by something else. Remembering the time when all the colors shone through easily...But now fear and uncertainty clouds your mind, blocking the colors. Then asking the Lord to help you in times like this. Perhaps it's through him that you've been able to find strength and inspiration in other people, and the good that they do.

Too true, your bones WOULD grow weary after traveling such a while-I know I am, but perhaps it's just because I'm young, and not yet enough in shape to keep up on the path. But alas the path still remains, with a long way to go.

Though I'm confident in my writing abilities, I can recognize a better poem when I see one, and this one has definitely outdone all of my poems. Yours is so much deeper, so much better written, filled with so much more meaning than I could ever hope to pack into one poem- or many.

Sheer brilliance, and I'm sure in my understanding of the poem I even missed points. You truly have talent in writing.

Answer 3

Your first poem is Wonderful! I love the way it starts out with color imagery and the particular phrase "uncertainty masters my soul" really got me. The flow is beautifully executed and I really appreciate the message of it.
Youth does start out so brilliant and energetic and hopeful, then the realities of life turn all those colors to a foggy gray.
I think it's very true that inner strength and wisdom's price is our youthful jubilance and clarity.

Very well done in my book!

Answer 4

WOW! you should submit it to poetry.com
here's one of mine.
Now it seems these days my troubles are not few nor far between
The waves crash in from underneath, the rain from every side.
I'd be washed out , I'd be undone if You were not my LORD
So I lift my hands like sails to the wind and praise You in the storm
You guide my steps You light my path You're there at every turn
Your voice has power to calm these waves or just to bid me "come"
Yes LORD I'll come walk on these waves because You've asked me to but when I sink please grab my hand and pull me close to You.
I'd be washed out , I'd be undone if You were not my LORD so I lift my hands like sails to the wind and praise You in this storm.

Answer 5

i reckon it was a dark night and relatively depressing point in your life when poetry which was your refuge turned away from you...
i feel the poem...