I suppose it would be much better if you could actually hear it rather than just read it, as it is supposed to be a song...but oppinions?
The Pursuit
I'm hoping that no one could see and you knew that was true
I'm dipping lower than I thought and all I want is you
I'm grasping at my own heart and screaming it to stop
I'm tossing out my own love in exchange for a drop
of something better
I'm not the girl you wanted me to be
I'm crying as I stare at a rainbow from my yard
because the beauty I once saw is now something so far
The colors just mean nothing they could be black and white
I used to have so many things that were so worth the fight
for something better
It's not the world we wanted it to be
If there is something better, if there is something more
Why have we all just given up the life we're lookin for?
We all just want the same thing, pursiut of happiness
We all deserve a hand to hold and never nothing less
than something better
and never nothing less than something bet
2007-10-20 00:42:20 · 6 answers · asked by driven 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
It's not the life we wanted it to be
I'm hoping no one saw the way I used to carry on
Cause if they did they'd know that I'm so far from where I'm from
At what point did I turn away and not hold up my ground
There's nothing in this living room to turn the life I've found
To something better
I'm not the girl I wanted me to be
What difference does it make that you use a different guide?
What difference does it make that you dont fit the prototype
We all need air to feed our blood and we all sleep at night
We're never better than the next and we deserve a life
of something better
Get off your *** and fight for something better
It's not the life we wanted it to be
And that just excuse enough for me
2007-10-20 00:51:38 · update #1
song
2007-10-20 00:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by fayem7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually think its pretty good writing, good for you, aren't all songs really poems just put to music tho, good luck in your writing, may it always be a creative outlet for you.
2007-10-20 00:52:20 · answer #2 · answered by mattkensethlover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i think that it`s really great. To some people it may not look very deep, but i find it... different. I really like it. =)
2007-10-20 00:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by ISM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good, works as a poem too...but it seems really fast paced so i can imagine it better as a song.
2007-10-20 00:48:39 · answer #4 · answered by 地獄 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice, to bad we can't hear it.
2007-10-20 01:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice
2007-10-21 03:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋