I have always had strong views toward marriage, and I have recently decided that I don't ever want to get married. I have seen how it ruins relationships. I honestly can not name a single married couple I know who is not miserable! I think there is some psychological trigger when two people sign those papers. I know this may sound wrong, but I have seen that is usually the womens fault. In many of the cases I have seen, the woman has changed drastically after marriage. Women are very controlling, especially with money. I am in college and I will be going to law school. I love living life to the fullest and I love expensive toys. I know that when I am able to afford it, I will have lots of nice cars, houses, boats, etc. I feel like if I ever get married I will never be able to have these things. I have seen a few cases where two people are not married and are very happy. I'm not saying that I don't want a lifelong companion/girlfriend, but I just don't want to say "I do".
2007-10-19 23:32:56 · 18 answers · asked by mike 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I didn't mean to offend anyone with my comments, but I have a few examples to prove my point. I have a really close relationship with my brother and 2 of my cousins. We know everything about each other... EVERYTHING! They have all been married and are the exact same person(s) I have always know. Their wives, however, have become insane and controlling since they have been married. 3 out of 3 is pretty bad odds!!!
2007-10-19 23:45:03 · update #1
you are not wrong for feeling the way you do. Right now I think that you are pretty level headed and want alot out of life
You are right to get your education and work hard for what you want in life. You don't have to be married to be happy. No 2 people in this world are happy all the time. There are many ups and downs in life. It sounds as if you are not ready to settle down with anyone at this time. Later on in life you may want to marry or have a live in companion. But I doubt you will ever find a perfect person, No one is, it will probably be difficult for you to ever find that one person that will fill your expectations. But people do change. Time will tell and ride the tide as long as you feel that you must . Good Luck will school and live life as you want. You only have to please yourself and be happy
2007-10-20 00:07:23 · answer #1 · answered by sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can say in my case that you are wrong... I was divorced for 6 years and never wanted to get remarried.. I had sole custody of my 2 kids and we were doing great. I was not looking when I met my husband. I was strait forward with my now husband when we met... I do not need anyone to make me happy.. and He had to fit into my life and my kids life... both of my kids played sports and I worked full time and I had everything we ever wanted... We dated for a while and got married... I have not changed at all and neither has he...the only thing that changed is he is in the Marines and I told him that I would follow him where he went. I do not tell him what he can or can't buy or do... I am not working now since I am pregnant with twins... and we just moved to Japan for his job.... but He will even tell everyone that I am the same person now that I was before I said I do... and he is the same too... guess when you find "the right one" things are perfect....
2007-10-20 07:51:54 · answer #2 · answered by s g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! I've had the big houses, Mercedes, boats, etc... Yes I was married then, BUT I was never really " in love".... long story. So, now after having all of that, so what, it's all materialistic. Maybe you just haven't meet the right person with the same interests and maybe you never will, good for you! You go for it! Just enjoy life, it's really too short not to! Myself, after being married to big "money makers" I have no desire either to get married again. Good Luck!
2007-10-20 06:44:42 · answer #3 · answered by Zoey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To a certain degree I have to admit I agree with you-there is something that happens to a lot of people when they say "I do"...it is called becoming content and taking the other person for granted. I do not agree that it is anyone's fault though. From what I have observed and my own 41 years of experiences,both parties are just as guilty for allowing their relationship to deteriorate. Marriage is like a garden-if you don't take the time to fertilize it,water it and tenderly care for it,all you will end up with is a patch of dirt and some scraggly weeds. As far as people giving you grief...well just let people know you have your own opinion on the subject and you'd rather not discuss it.
2007-10-20 06:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to have a companion there for you, and give you all the benifits of marriage, without making a commitment to them. Sorry to say, but you are one selfish person. I am a woman, and when you get married, it is to share a life with the other person, because you love them and want to be there for them. As far as money goes, most men think because they earn a salary it is all theirs and that the household can do without as long as they have what they want. Sorry that's not the way it works. For a marriage to be successful both have to be on the same page. Goals have to be set, plans have to be made by both of them, not just one. If you work together, than something can be gained, but if only one is looking to the future, and the other is only thinking of what they want, then I guess woman are to blame for not having their heads on backwards. PLEASE, do someone a favor and never ask them out.
2007-10-20 06:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are perfectly entitled to have a current opinion in respect of marriage.
However there are many people who are not happy, or do not feel complete, until they have chosen their lifetime partner and entered into marriage. Provided you allow them to have their own opinion I see absolutely no problem.
I also note that you are in college and intend to go to law school - an admirable profession.
With more opportunity to see others and hear their feelings, while you are training, you may also change your mind - particularly if you meet that special someone who "knocks you off your feet". I would encourage an open view
2007-10-20 06:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by DavidC 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, dont get married cause you will only be a pain in someone elses life and ruin some poor womens independence and freedom. All men screw around and spread Aids and STD they are never happy with one woman. So all marriages are a disaster. Women should say no to marriage. Be independent and stay away from the slime balls.
2007-10-20 06:59:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if u dont want to be married dont get married ,it doesnt matter if you do or you don't really.
but only time will tell if that becomes true or not ! and from a females point of veiw i take objection to the comment that its often the womans fault.:P
With an attitude like you have i think it would be best if you did not ever marry
2007-10-20 06:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by sandiemay01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no reason that you should feel guilty about not wanting to get married. It's your life.
I do think that you need to be a little less gender biased though. Men also change after marraige. It's not just women & not all women become controlling after marraige.
2007-10-20 06:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"...and I love expensive toys" --This tells me you lack some level of maturity. Everybody likes bright and shiny new things. Some people are just able to overcome their childish ways, their selfishness...
You need to wait some more.
edit: They are the same around YOU. Ask their wives if they are the same man they married. You don't know what really goes on behind closed doors, you don't know what happened before and you don't know what happens now.
2007-10-20 06:45:03 · answer #10 · answered by Sassafrass 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋