I have always had strong views toward marriage, and I have recently decided that I don't ever want to get married. I have seen how it ruins relationships. I honestly can not name a single married couple I know who is not miserable! I think there is some psychological trigger when two people sign those papers. I know this may sound wrong, but I have seen that is usually the womens fault. In many of the cases I have seen, the woman has changed drastically after marriage. Women are very controlling, especially with money. I am in college and I will be going to law school. I love living life to the fullest and I love expensive toys. I know that when I am able to afford it, I will have lots of nice cars, houses, boats, etc. I feel like if I ever get married I will never be able to have these things. I have seen a few cases where two people are not married and are very happy. I'm not saying that I don't want a lifelong companion/girlfriend, but I just don't want to say "I do".
2007-10-19 23:30:01 · 17 answers · asked by mike 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's your perogative and I'm glad you decided that. Too many people fool themselves into thinking marriage is what they want and end up divorcing b/c marriage is hard work and not everyone is up for that challenge.
Take your time, you're also in college and I'd wouldn't say never, love works in mysterious ways and there you are walking down the aisle after you swore it wouldn't be you---that would of been me, 6 yrs ago!
2007-10-19 23:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by Yummy♥Mummy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) If you had a hammer and the only experience you ever had with it was that you hit yourself over the head with it repeatedly, you'd say, "I don't like hammers. Hammers are bad. I never want a hammer." If your friends and family were married to the wrong or to horrible people, they have a bad marriage. It's just like the case of the hammer. It isn't marriage's fault; they were just using it wrong.
2) SOME...no, MANY women are controlling. But not all.
3) You will be able to have these and a lot more. Even if you get married. It depends entirely on the woman you marry.
4) If you have a lifelong live-in, is this not the same thing as being married, save the tax breaks and economic, social and personal benefit?
You feel this way now as you well should. You shouldn't even entertain the idea until you're ready. But I promise you: you will meet a woman who will change your mind. I went to law school while I was married. I experienced much while married. You will view things differently when you are older. I promise!
2007-10-19 23:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmnn…. We are almost in the same boat. Not that I have vowed not to marry at all but I have never been bothered whether I get marry or not. Infact, at my age…other people are already worried why am not getting married but I think growing up with an open mind contributed much as to why I love the way am living my life & discerning marriage as long as I can. I just enjoy the relationship as it unfolds and no insecurities when it comes to commitments. To me, commitment already exists while both are in the relationship & I don’t think if it changes with the marriage seal other than the laws mandated by the government or so. However, I believe more in having mutual & loving relationship rather than what the law had imposed or deem necessary for any couples. Its all about being in love & staying with each other that strongly bonds a couple. May be a marriage is a plus factor but only in legal terms. The rest is how you manage your relationship is far more important than anything else.
2007-10-20 00:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by jables 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offence, but you sound a little immature with the 'i like expensive toys' thing. If you are in a relationship, and especially if you have a family, those things will come waaaaayyy before your toys, I mean, if you actually respected a woman you were with, you wouldn't just ignore her financial needs and also common sense by buying useless things, would you? A woman wouldn't get mad if a man didn't give her something to be mad over, so it isn't just the women's fault when a relationship breaks down.
It takes two to tango.
Besides, if you DO have a lifelong de facto girlfriend, it makes financial sense to marry, the government gives you more tax breaks and stuff. I plan to marry my partner if only for this reason, I want more money.
The people that have miserable married lives were too stupid to get married in the first place, or else too stupid to work out their problems, and they kinda deserve it.
2007-10-19 23:37:26 · answer #4 · answered by myleslr 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are definitely not wrong for not wanting to get married. If I had it to do all over again I never would have gotten married. Marriage is a lot of sacrifice and had work and if you happen to get a spouse that cares nothing about making it work you could be in for a miserable ride. Marriage is definitely not for every one and happily ever after is becoming a rarity now a days. I do not blame you if my husband and I had really taken the time to really learn about all the possible pro's and cons I think we both would have made different decisions
2007-10-20 02:38:19 · answer #5 · answered by free 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you did you would be signing away you property. Just look at the high profile divorces. Women get huge pay out for being married sometimes for only weeks! The law is against men, whether there's children or not. What happened to equal rights. Some women still think they should be looked after either by a man or the state!
2007-10-19 23:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your life goals amount to amassing expensive toys "nice cars, houses, boats" and just having a good time, then by all means don't get married. Not because its a bad thing to do, but just because your not at the time or space in your life where you are ready to make that sort of commitment to another person, if it means you might have to do with out those things. Fair enough.
Just be honest with any one you may become involved with, and let them know up front where your priorities lie.
2007-10-20 00:18:13 · answer #7 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never say never. I don't think you should be passing judgements on future decisons right now.
Material possessions will never make you happy: the more you have, the more shallow most people will perceive you are, and they will really enjoy it if ever you stuff up. If you want to value-add to your life, make some close friends and learn what it is to be one. A house can't put it's arms around you when you are down, and it definitely won't remember your birthday or any other significant moment in your life.
2007-10-19 23:59:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's wrong that you don't want to get married. I always told myself that I didn't want marriage or children. Well I did both anyway, and lets just say my son is great, but the marriage was rediculous. I'll never marry again.
2007-10-19 23:33:58 · answer #9 · answered by ApRiL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is what you and your carefully chosen partner make of it.You just haven't found the right person. You will someday and may change your mind. Both partners need to work and maintain the relationship.It does work.
2007-10-19 23:48:36 · answer #10 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋