I've been blabbering all over the place with my previous Yahoo questions about my long-lost best friend who I've just been reunited with a few weeks ago. We've been going through several fights now, and today I've learned that she's marrying her boyfriend of only 1 month. I know I should be happy, but she's only 18. She can't throw her life away so early. It's not even a marriage forced from pregnancy.
I've never even met her boyfriend, but ever since I've learned about him my best friend's been so cold and hurtful. Sometimes when I meet with her it looks like she's been beaten up, with bruises all over, and she looks like she's been crying, and there's only one person I can suspect. Whenever I ask her if she needs help she just turns it away.
Our relationship is at its lowest point but I can't let someone I love so much throw her life away when she seems so depressed. Please, help me care for her.
2007-10-19 22:56:16 · 7 answers · asked by Nina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
people might not agree with me but you should just be there for her. she is going to marry that guy no matter what other people say. the cold hard truth will hit her hard and she will need you the most when things go terribly wrong for her.. we all know why this will happen. trying to talk her out of it is just going to push her farther from you.
2007-10-19 23:03:51 · answer #1 · answered by SecretSquirrel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is be there for her. When she comes over, and is messed up, look at her and tell her you know she is being abused, and would like to help her, but she has to help herself first, by admitting that it is happening. She has to do this, and if not there really isn't anything you can do, except be there as a friend. If you can find the movie, "the burning bed" go get it, and watch it. It will show someone that is starting out in an abusive relationship what the rest of her life will be like.
2007-10-19 23:14:06 · answer #2 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are they registered any wherein? It could say so within the invitation. If you hate the inspiration of running round a shop with a record,simply get them a present card to that retailer. If the marriage ceremony isn't that some distance away then the entire high priced units are regularly those left in there registry,humans generally tend to shop for the most cost effective units at the couples record,so a present card possibly the nice solution to cross. If they don't seem to be registered any wherein,a present card remains to be the nice solution to cross.Get them a Visa present card,you'll ususally purchase them at a financial institution,name round and discover out who has them and if there's a cost for the cardboard itself..its customarily only a few dollars.You can placed any amount of cash at the card,and it is identical to a bank card,so they may be able to use it any wherein that takes bank cards,even on-line.
2016-09-05 16:31:23 · answer #3 · answered by francene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, since you said your relationship was at its lowest point, its not as if you'll be the only person close to her at present.
it's no good asking her what is happening or who is beating her or if there is anything you can do to help. if she has decided to marry the guy inspite of everything then you can't make her change her decision and if you try to froce her, you will only end up losing her completely.
so, just make her feel that you are there for her always. and try to make her see for herself that what she is doing is wrong. you don't tell her that she is doing wrong but help her to see the truth herself. she has to realize it one day and its better if she sees it before the wedding day.
but just always be there for her, try to cheer her up. dont discuss only that topic with her. make her see what she will be giving up if she gives in to marriage now. go shopping with her, point out all the cute guys to her, go to an amusement park, have hot dogs and cotton candy, try to meet up with other old friends, go to the beauty parlour, and you can even try to flirt with other guys in front of her to make her see there are a lot of better people out in the world.
and well, this might seem a bit crazy, but try to conspire with someone older and married to come and say something bad about married life in front of her. you can even make up a terrible story about a husband who beats his wife and stuff like that and tell it to her just casually and see if she takes it seriously. if she does, you can tell her very gently to not do wht she is going to do, if she is not interested, then find out some other way.
2007-10-20 00:02:11 · answer #4 · answered by stormy.breezy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to invite her where you two can have an open talk,go on picnic. If you get that chance open up to her of how you have seen her now than before and let her bring out what she kept in her heart. Let her feel that you realy cares for her and how much worried of you. Perhaps she's just lookin for someone to confide and you may not have done anything to let her feel that your realy a friend to her.
2007-10-19 23:16:18 · answer #5 · answered by kugay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she's in love she probably doesnt see much reason in the wrongs of the whole thing.what she feels right now is that because she loves him she can take anything while hoping for change.She turns away from your help because coz she's scared of the unknown.I think what you should do is keep talking to her gently until she sees reason.Tell her not to rush into marraige but take her time to make things better.she's young she doesnt have to rush.What ever you do for her dont be tired of trying.She needs is love all the love you can give to her.
2007-10-19 23:56:03 · answer #6 · answered by Cat6479 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you really care for your best friend, but it's up to her. It's her life and she should make good but wise decisions.
Maybe, she really loves this guy she want to marry. Anyway, is it acceptable if you'll be married just from pregnancy?
I really think, it's really early at her age, but, love controls.
2007-10-19 23:27:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋