my dad got a random 17 yr old girl at a party pregnant when he was 15, and stayed with her. when i 1 month she split and my dads looked after me ever since. he has mates over all the time but wont date. it makes me feel guilty, as if i ruined his life. he tells me that "i am the only girl he needs" but i don’t believe it. he wont go out to clubs, where he could meet heaps of chicks, and he is a good looking, nice bloke. i think he is worried about the change, because his parents kicked him out when he got the girl pregnant. So iv never had a mother figure, or grandparents. My dads parents say that they don’t want to meet me, and the only contact they have with him is when they send a Christmas card. It has only ever been the two of us, and friends, never girlfriends. i want him to date but he wont. what can i do? we are very closeand a girlfriend would make him happyer. he thinks that any one his age would run away screaming when he says he has a 15 yr old daughter. what do you think? Before saying stuff about me needing a mother and everything, and that dad should try and find her, he has tried to find her many times, but she has just dissapered. The only proof that he has of my mother ever existing is me, and one foto of her. One of his friends partners told me one day that maybe he didn’t want me to see someone that wasn’t my mother become my mother. Please help me.
2007-10-19 22:29:46 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Hey girl,
I think your father is probably worried that the same thing will happen again, that he would get a girl pregnant but they wouldn't commit. If his has a lady friend that won't marry him or go steady with him because he has a 15 year old daughter, obviously then she's the wrong woman, because if she really loves your dad then she wouldn't care how many children he has.
I think your grandparents still cannot accept reality. It must be heart wrenching for them to not be able to see your father, but they are acting really immaturely for grandparents. You should try and contact them instead, and make them proud to have such a fine grand daughter like yourself.
You could try and get an oorganisation to help you find your long lost mother, I'm sure there are a few in your community. Perhaps she's moved to another side of the country?
Don't blame your dad for not wanting to date, he has his reasons and perhaps he's not ready to share with you just yet. On that note I'd just like to add that the "heaps of chicks" at the clubs are probably not the kind of women you would want as a mother. (That's just my opinion)
Well, good luck in finding your mother, biological or otherwise. Stay strong!
<3 Celine
2007-10-19 23:45:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you want him to go out, so you can have someone over? get in more teenage trouble? I don't even know your dad but he sounds like a terrific father. Most daughters would kill to have a dad like yours. What if he did date and married a girl that you hated with kids you hated you would start hating him. Hence the reason he is not dating. He only has three more years to raise you right and then he will be 32 which is still very young and then he will be able to date while you are in college. stop focusing on your mother. there are many children that don't have any family at all and are living with strangers (foster homes ring a bell) Find another friend's mom to befriend as a temp mom( I am a temp mom for many girls that does not have a mother) You dad is doing the best thing in the interest of you. He is raising you so he does not have to complicate his life and yours with someone else. And is giving you all of his time and attention. Sounds like you have the best of both worlds rounded up in one very smart man and you are one VERY lucky girl.
2007-10-20 03:36:49 · answer #2 · answered by rabbit 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that your dad is the best person to udghe whether or not he is ready to date ot whether he wants to go out and meet someone he could be content with things how they are. You should leave it be. If he wants someone he'll go and find someone or try to. Until then trust him he will let you know when he is ready you will see the change. As for your mother no one here has the right to say anything about that not knowing how things are or were for her or your dad when you were born. Give your dad time when he is ready he will start to look for someone.
2007-10-20 00:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by jaineelyse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad sounds like a great guy. I cant believe your grandparents dont respect him for his decisions and be part of both your lives more. Their loss.
Taking on the responsibility to raise you as a single parent your dad maybe set in his ways and not want the influence of a woman in how to raise you. If he had a girlfriend or a wife things would change for you if you believe it or not. Regardless you father is an adult and it sounds like he can make decisions for himself. If he chooses to take all his time and devote it to you - I would respect his wishes. Maybe he has his own plans in life and will find a girlfriend later in life. If I were you I would spendd as much time with him as you can. Once you are older and start your own life and family you will see him less and less. In my experiences, its easier to date as you get older - I wouldnt worry about him he will be ok.......
2007-10-20 00:37:10 · answer #4 · answered by srmc_007 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he sounds happy. If you want to help your dad, grow up well and be someone he's proud of. If you feel like you would like to have a woman's influence in your life and that you want him to start dating, it's OK to talk to him about that... but be honest with him that it's for you and not something that you think will make him happier. Being a single parent is a lot of work, and maybe he doesn't want the added stress of dating. He sounds like the kind of dad who would do anything for you, and knows that he is so lucky to have you.
2007-10-19 22:34:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mum and dad split when i was six. I am now 22 and he is only just dating somebody now. The only reason he is doing this is because i am married and have two kids so no i have somebody to look after me. Dad's want to do anything they can to look after there daughters and want to devote all there time to them. One day he will date again just let him do it in his own time. Dad's are funny like that i know from experience.
2007-10-19 22:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by top_mumsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi believe what your father tells you when he saids your the only girl he needs in life. you have an amazing dad and i applaud his efforts. I'm sorry you don't have your mother or grand parents in your life is their loss not yours. why would you want people like that in your life any ways. I'm sorry but theres nothing any one can do to help you. but to assure every thing has its place and time. and that every thing will be alright. Don't blame your self for any thing but your own mistakes. you weren't asked to be born. this is not your fault. only your mothers. I bet your an amazing young women and when your father finds that right woman for him and makes her his wife she's going to be proud to call you hers. and you might want things to go back to just you and your dad. but cheer up and enjoy the time with the one that loves you more then any thing in the world your dad
2007-10-19 22:41:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice man!! he is putting you first you should be happy. Your dad has friends female and male so hes not missing out. He will find another woman when he is ready don't analyze this you two have come this far without a woman role model why complicate it. You seem emotionally strong count your blessings. Enjoy
2007-10-19 23:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by sexiebum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
parents are weird. they do things in which they think are in the best interest for their child. i didn't date for 7 yrs after my youngest son was born. his father left me on the day he was born because he couldn't handle the stress (more to the story but i'm not going to bore you with the details). i never wanted my children to hurt the way i hurt for them. the easiest way to keep that from happening was not to let men that could possibly take the place of their father come into their lives. i know i also at times blame myself for letting their father leave so easily. him not being around has had a negative impact on their lives. in retrospect, it wasn't the best way to handle the situation. they could have used a good male role model in their lives.
as for your dad.....since you are close with him, sit down and talk to him. explain to him that you are aware you have a mother and not looking for a replacement. you just want him to be happy. you respect him and you're grateful for everything he's done for you but it's time for him to think about himself for a change.
and your grandparents...it's their loss. you sound like a great kid. you're compassionate. that's not a quality you find in every teen nowdays. they'll realize one day what they've been lacking in their lives....YOU.
2007-10-20 02:51:12 · answer #9 · answered by Amy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry.Just tell ur dad about this.Just tell ur problem again and that you want a mommy at home to take care of everyone.In fact ,ur dad will indeed date and marry ,but at a later age cos at that time he ll understand the difficulties.
2007-10-19 22:43:56 · answer #10 · answered by KIRAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋