It took a couseler to convince me we should be married after 3 years of dating. I said you know what, you right I should be more comited. We did it, and being married is what i have always wanted. But shes not right for me. Controlling, almost feminist. And just when Ive had enough, very nice and giving. And I forgive, Probably because its the easy way. But we have been fighting sibce our wedding night. Her whole family knows, and I hardly like to visit them because every one know everything. But my family doesnt know a thing and would be a shocker if we were to split up. My family thinks im happy. We have been doing good for a week now, and tonight we had an arguement. In bed she said she cant sleep with me because she might hurt me... whats up with that. We pretty much have role reversale where she makes all the money but I have been on my own and self suficient since 18. I could do it again, but Im worried my family would think im a loser. what should i do?
2007-10-19 20:43:44 · 11 answers · asked by joe C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not just yours... ;)
75% similarity
2007-10-19 22:33:18 · answer #1 · answered by bebe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you go into the bedroom right this minute and wake Sleeping Beauty up and ask her exactly what she meant when she said she might hurt you? Look her directly in the eye when you ask. What she says, how she says it and if she looks you in the eye when she speaks should give you the answer you need.
But before you do anything that you think you may regret, remember this. What is very true about a person, the exact opposite is true at any given time. If she is controlling, etc., she may also appreciate your sweeping her up the stairs like Rhett Butler in Gone With The Wind. You know her better than I. Trust your gut, little brother.
PS: Dang, I have been watching movies lately, huh?
2007-10-20 04:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by Chiksita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oy...if it took someone else to convince you that you should be married, that's the first sign that you SHOULDN'T be married!! If things were fine when you two were just dating, and I assume they were if you were dating for 3 years, getting married somehow screwed everything up. You need to do what makes YOU happy, not your family. (Believe me, I've spent most of my life trying to make my family happy, and finally had enough of it!), I'm sure your family won't think you're a loser, they're your family and should stand by you and support you no matter what. But I don't think you should be married, it wasn't a good idea in the first place, and you should try to get out of it before you completely lose your mind. Do things for YOU, not anyone else. That's the only way you'll ever be happy. Good luck to you!
2007-10-20 04:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by mspp_tcg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to laugh, you said she's almost feminist! There's nothing wrong with being a feminist. I'm a feminist and yet my relationship with my male partner is great. Of course, he respects me as a partner and an equal and would have no problem with me making more money than him. Being a feminist isn't about controlling men or being in competition with men. It's just about being an equal in that women should not be treated like doormats or submissive cows. Feminism isn't the issue in your relationship unless you have absolutely no respect for women and real problems with your wife having a career and earning money. If that's the case, you don't belong with any woman.
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that the issue is some where else in your marriage. I'm not sure where, perhaps you're not communicating properly with her. Perhaps it's time you go back to that counsellor!
2007-10-20 03:50:40 · answer #4 · answered by some female 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It took a counselor to convince you that you two should be married?? What the hell is worng with you people??
I have never heard of something like that.
Obviously the matrimony was forced on you and you are not happy with it, and it seems she is also as wako as you sound…. No offense.
Unless I didn’t get your question right, or you worte something wrong, I think you need to divorce right away.
Sorry, I don’t recommend that to people, but your case is really insane.
2007-10-20 03:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iam thinking that you have a lot of Issues here to work out or maybe not compatiable at all...perhaps you should go back to couseling, stand up and be a man you know what you want don't you? I don't want to see your mariage break up but you said yourself "she is not right for me". this is your life don't live for your family or anyone else you are the one that's miserable, unhappy, confused wake up and smell the roses.
2007-10-20 04:07:22 · answer #6 · answered by girlfriend 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you 2 need counseling again. did you 2 talk amount the money situation while you counseling? did you talk about the male female roles. and as far as the threats that can be considered as a felony if reported, but most men won't report it because they feel like they are loosers. it does not matter what others think if you are unhappy. But what matters the most is what you think of yourself. may God keep you of a sound mind and may he bring a peace upon your wife where you 2 can resolve these issue. thank you Lord for your peace. amen
2007-10-20 04:03:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what your family thinks. They do not have to live with her. She is talking about hurting you in your sleep? I would get out and quick. Nobody has to live your life but you. Make yourself happy and don't worry about them. They will get over it.
2007-10-20 03:59:26 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say but u need to split, or if u want the same lady, ask some person who is close to both of u to explain pros n cons of it...
2007-10-20 04:08:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you don't have any children. If you don't get out of it now. She probably doesn't have any respect for you.
2007-10-20 03:56:57 · answer #10 · answered by benejueves 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋