Have you ever been confronted with the "homosexuality is a choice" card in real life?

Question

I am only asking this because the only place I have ever had anyone tell me is online.

The underlying question: why not sit down one on one with a real life homosexual, and then say what you have to say? I would be willing to meet up with anyone over a cup of coffee and discuss my thoughts rationally.

I suppose another thing I am saying is that when people are willing to act like adults, I will be willing to listen to their opinion as an adult. I don't understand why everything has to be so unaccepting and one-sided. I have my own views and I am a lesbian, but I will not throw someone else's views entirely out the window just because I like to kiss girls. Everyone has room for possibility, and if we could all speak and listen properly, maybe this world would get somewhere.

On the contrary, Blanca, my thoughts on gay people do matter to me, because I am gay. But I appreciate your comment. Perhaps you were speaking to a general "you" and not "me."

Mike B, I am interested on your opinion of the homosexual Christian who still knows that it was not a choice? Answer if you feel up to it and thank you for your thoughts.

Answer 1

Many times.

I have been approached in the street in Central London by people who have quoted the bible and asked me why I choose to be a sinner.

I have had work colleagues, usually those with a striong religious view, tell me that I do not have to be this way.

I think it depends on how 'out' you are, and where you live and work.

It will do no good trying to tell the god botherers what you think, you could buy them all the coffee in Brazil, you would not win the arguement.

When someone has, and let's be honest we are no different, a deeply held view or belief, they is almost certainly nothing anyone can do to change your mind.

You are convinced that homosexuality is not a choice, the strongly christian is convince you have made a choice and that both can change.

The only way you would make any headway at all in to learn what the arguements are, find within the bible those things that contradict what is being said, and use that.

The people that think we choose to be gay but do not take their beliefs from the bible are actually even harder to convince, they are likely to have other views that would impact badly on other minorities, for example those to the political far right.

You have a choice here as to what to do, either ignore them, or challenge them, but if challenging them I do so by asking them for proof of what they say, this is rarely forthcoming, and usually has them scurrying of back under their stone.

Answer 2

Absolutely fabulous point.

Would all of these religious fundies be so quick to judge if they looked me in the eye and listened to my story? If only they would, I think that maybe there'd be a little more understanding. It's easy to throw around big words and pseudo-scientific theories on the web, but when you're hearing someone tell you exactly what they went through, I think it'd be a little different. Human empathy and emotions can be such a wonderful thing--we were made for connection with others, it'd be a hard thing to fight. It's so sad that it'd be nearly impossible to sit a 'believer' down and have a talk like that. I'd be totally willing to do it every day for the rest of my life if it would get some understanding.

Answer 3

Yes.....and I am tired of it.....especially when these conversations come up unsolicited.

I am glad you have patience to talk with these "type" of people. I just figure in this day and age, with so many Gay ppl out and our visibility in the media, that even the dingiest of dingbats should have gotten it by now.

As a white Man, if I ever claimed to know exactly what it is like to be black or female, I would be made a laughing stock. But somehow, Straight ppl without a Gay bone in their body.....by golly.....now everything about is, including our cognitive feelings and emotions.

Bless you for putting up with these morons though.

Answer 4

You make a well factor, however I kinda like playing cards. I regularly purchase recycled ones after which those I get (from others) can frequently have their portraits reduce out to make use of in scrapbooks or for identify tags the following yr. I throw extra paper away in 2 days valued at of unsolicited mail than I do in a yr of all excursion playing cards. Junk mail will have to be banned!

Answer 5

Why would you sit down with a homosexual and say what you have to say? They are human beings, and they are no different from anyone else, except they like the same sex. I'm married with 3 kids, and if any one of my kids came to me and told me they were gay- so what, they are human beings and as long as they are happy that is all that matters to me. People are so ignorant, I can't stand the way they treat gay people. Your thoughts or any one elses thought shouldn't matter to gay people. When did God go on vacation and leave you to judge?

Answer 6

Of course we all know by now that I'm gay as wallflowers...Smiles!And I have made the choice to be ALL of the sexual spectrum at some point in my life.I was born a normal kid,never thought of being any certain way.Attracted to girls,the whole nine.But a guy came to tune our piano when I was about 8 or 9 years old and he was gay.Liberace was an extravagant eccentric and flamboyant gay.So I decided to experiment with my own gender to see why the adults make fun of these guys so much.I tried it and it was all that.In high school I liked my guys,but I wanted to make sure that is what I wanted,so I had a girlfriend.We did the wild thing and for me it wasnt all that.But at that point I was bisexual as I was still freakin with my fellas while I was freakin with my girl.I got into music and started a band and we played clubs from Austin Texas to Baton Rouge Louisiana.I continued to be bisexual.There was one of our roadies who loved the songs I have written and she was a big fan.She was my FK Buddy.And as the band broke up and we had to go get real jobs I married this girl to get a job in the homeless shelter my mom had helped bring about in our city.They wanted a married couple with no kids,so we got the job.We went to the courthouse and got a certificate of informal marriage.Same price as the other marriage license,just no preacher.When you walk out with the certificate you are married.She knew I liked guys too,so that was no big deal.As we shared a room and a bed we got drunk one night and she ended up pregnant.I was not going to let any child of mine be fatherless,so I stayed with her out of loyalty to my blood.At that point I chose to put my homosexual desires on hold and be heterosexual.I was a perfect heterosexual for 14 years as I raised my children in the conventional setting.As I worked offshore and left her with large amounts of money for emergencies,she became addicted to crack cocaine.So the marriage ended on that note and she stayed on a 6 year crack binge.I even took the children away from her and placed them with relatives.Working for long periods of time offshore does not allow a single parent to logically raise children.But after my divorce,I chose to go back to guys and stick with just guys.So now I am gay all the way.Ha!Ha!
Hugs!

Answer 7

I am not gay, but had one of my friend's fiance tell me this during a discussion. With a straight face, too, like he was dead serious. I haven't spoken to him since.

People like that won't say something like that to a homosexual's face, for multiple reasons. Those kind of people dislike gays enough that they wouldn't want to sit at the same table as them.

Answer 8

hmmm....well that's the thing u c
some ppl chose homosexuality/biseuxality
(becase of a horrible life or past or something)
and most r born with it and cant do nothing abt it
(there r times when the person can have the best parents in the world ...but they still have gay/bi children LOL)
idk...that's something intersting to discuss abt....

Answer 9

I'm not gay but I have heard people say this, yes. They are all old, however, and this is what they were taught when they were growing up.

I've never heard someone who is young and actually knows a gay person say this.

Answer 10

ONE WOULD NEED GUTS TO DO SO. 95% OF THOSE WHO " BELIEVE " THAT , ARE THEMSELVES HOMOSEXUAL OR AT LEAST SWING BOTH WAYS AND KNOW IT; BUT DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO COME OUT.